Basically I joined the ADAA for I can talk to people with the same health issue as me. I’ve had this issue since I was in my teens and soon I’ll be in my 40’s. I label myself as having an anxiety disorder with panic attacks and agoraphobia. I feel like my life sucks seeing people do the things I want to do, and I think to myself every day how I wish I was normal or feel normal, but I don’t know what normal is anymore. I’ve lived my life always worrying , thinking and feeling these anxiety that sometimes I wished I wasn’t here anymore (like not being born or sleep and never wake up). These anxiety makes me isolate myself from others ( and yes you’ve guessed it, I have no friends) but again is due to my fears of what if’s. What if I have a panic attack at the mall or work, what if I cry in front of others cause they don’t understand me, what if I pass out due to these anxiety. I don’t know who else to talk too. I live my life is secret...at home I’m always serious and sad, and outside smiling and happy, when inside my head plays the what if’s nonstop. So again just here to talk to others with similar issues as me and to see how do you cope with it.
Thanks for reading my crazy issues
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Linakv24
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long. Isn't it good to talk to people who truly understand? Has any medication ever helped your anxiety? Social isolation is awful, isn't it? I'll be glad to talk with you again.
Hi Matgrg, thanks for reading my story. When I was in my teens I took meds but stop for 15 years thinking I didn’t need them. But in the course of the last three years my anxiety started to act up so bad that I needed to start taking medication. Does it help Idk. All these years I just know my body that when I feel bad I down and out. The social isolation is due to the fear of places that I’ve developed over the years. I fear everything...lol! I know it’s not funny but if I don’t ever laugh. I would really good crazy.
Does it seem like we always expect the worst thing to happen? I would love to make these thoughts stop, but I can't seem to do it. I know I am my own worst enemy!!
So true!! I don’t know you but I hope that you stay strong. Living life like this is not easy. If we don’t help ourself, who will. It’s taken me a long time to understand this. If I give up on myself I’m dead.
In regards with the "what ifs", I suffer from the same affliction. "What if I'm feeling this, what if I do this and then this happens, etc." Below i'll list some of my practices when it all feels heavy.
What I've been practicing is trying to stay in the moment. And let whatever may, come. You are strong enough to make game-time decisions when things happen. And in my experience recently, the "worst case scenario" that I fret over for so long, is not anywhere near as bad as anticipated. There are tons of meditations and YouTube videos to practice staying "in the moment".
What's personally helped me a lot is closing my eyes, and quickly taking stock of where I am and what I feel. My feet are on the ground, I can feel the ground. My hands are by my sides, I can feel my shirt. I smell the air, it smells like cut grass. And when I open my eyes, I realize I'm not in any immediate danger or threat because I took a second to be aware of myself, before my surroundings.
In terms of negative thinking as you said, you're deserving and allowed to be alive. The important thing is remembering that your brain will throw these thoughts at you expecting a reaction. I had a pretty bad night a few nights ago with negative thoughts, and I put on some relaxing piano, did some deep breaths, and whispered "this too shall pass" to myself for a few minutes. Finding a positive mantra may help you battle those thoughts.
As for other people, I understand that worry entirely. But what I keep reminding myself, is that if I end up having an issue, I can explain that I'm feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed by a certain situation. You are just as much a person as anyone else. and most people will respond with care and understanding, as they don't want to see you in a bad spot.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. But what I will say, is joining this site and writing your story takes courage. So I applaud you for your bravery to be here, and you'll always have someone to talk to here. You are safe and welcome here, always.
Hi Simplydusty, thank you got for your kind words. I know that relaxation method but when these anxiety comes, it over powers them, so I’m sad to report I haven’t master that technique yet. Also, I have a saying too, I tell myself “I will not fear, these fears are fake or pretend, and I’ll will be okay” but again still trying to master these techniques.
I’m far from an expert myself, trust me. I know exactly what you mean about the anxiety over powering it. It sucks doesn’t it? You’re not alone. And I love your saying, I think I’ll start using that myself!
Yeah it sucks! Because I would love to go out more. I would love to go to a football game, a concert, go and visit family members, also leave the country for once. But it’s a fight I battle with myself every day. Go right ahead and use the saying. I hope it helps you!! Stay strong 💪.
I suffer from anxiety disorder, panic attacks and mood swings. I try to control these through a combination of medication, excersise and a few activities such as cooking, running etc.
I have realised that once we cross into adulthood almost everyone has a major issue - either physical or mental health, or relationship or financial.
Hi SRNM, I don’t like this club (lol..jk)! I have tried some of those techniques. Meditation in my mind mean going to sleep, I haven’t been able to be awake 5 minutes and I’m out. Exercise, I have an issue with that. When i try to run my chest hurts a lot and I can’t breathe well. I have told the doctor and he said because I’m not use to it. But because of the pain I prefer not too. So I walk better or bike.
But your right as age comes the body acts differently. Everything hurts or bothers me now in days.
Hi SRNM, You know like every new year come people make resolution. Well when my birthday comes I always tell myself I want to change or want things to change. Less than 2 weeks is my birthday and I want it to change and get better. Lately, I’ve been reading a lot but feel I’m just trying to escape reality, I love listening to music, been playing my PlayStation lately, also, I feel like my happiest times is when I’m watching my favorite shows. I love animation.
Hi SRNM, how many time have I tried to garden but I’m know for killing them. A long time ago my neighbor asked me to water her plants I said no problem ( didn’t know I was a plant killer yet) the week was almost done, when I remember about the plant. You can guess what happen, the plant was dying so I thought watering it will revive it, but no, that plant was dead the moment she left me in charger of it...lol! So I’ve taken an interest in drawing and I’m trying to study a foreign language too.
I guess my one resolution would be to be more out going. It may not seem like much but to be that’s a struggle day by day.
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