so much anxiety

[Daisy425]

I have 5 students absent today, one of which got sick on the bus. I’m so scared I’ll get sick. I’m afraid of throwing up. I hate the feeling and the whole act of it. I have plans this weekend. I feel like I’m waiting to throw up because it seems like with everyone sick I’m doomed

[litethatnevergoesout]

how are you feeling?

[Daisy425 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

physically I feel fine but I’m still really anxious. I’ve been resting for the past hour and plan to rest for another hour before getting up and doing some things around my apartment this evening. I’m just really worried about getting sick really don’t want to.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Daisy425]

I don’t think you’ll get sick. the kids get one another sick and you don’t have a sick child at home with you.

[Daisy425 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

I really hope that’s the case. I know getting sick as a part of life but I used to get sick all the time from being anxious so throwing up really is a scary thing for me because it brings me back to that time.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Daisy425]

I don’t think throwing up is supposed to be pleasant, I totally understand why you don’t want to throw up. have you gotten up to straighten out some of your apartment? I think that is important in keeping you from sitting or laying down dwelling on getting sick.

be comforted knowing that you’ve been to school and been exposed to the children and that right now you’re not sick and the chances are you won’t be. go a little easy on yourself if you can. it’s ok that you’re really anxious about it. you’re ok to feel that way. you have the power to have control over those feelings.

[Daisy425 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

Thank you so so much. Yes I got up and did some things. I’m watching a show and then I’ll try to cook so pasta for dinner.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Daisy425]

That’s a great idea. thanks for letting everyone know how you are doing. I think you’re doing great and handling this really well.

[Teaching]

It's scary, always wear your mask and wash your hands. A lot of our students are sick and some of the parents don't report it. A bunch of Teachers had to take some antibiotics because they came in contact with a student.

[punkster]

Daisy, I totally get the way you're feeling. I, too, work with students and it has been a real challenge for me to go to work. The only thing I can say is don't talk yourself into feeling unwell. Take hourly assessments if you have to, and be honest with yourself about how you feel- you probably feel just fine. It's not the end of the world if you get sick. It is a part of life. You will get better and move on. Bless your heart for working with students,

[yhsbirny]

The obvious question is, are you now or have you ever seen a medical professional to get some treatment for your anxiety? (Forgive me if you talked about treatment in a previous post; I did not see it.) At first I was thinking you would have to find a different job that involved little or no contact with other people, but now I don't think your job is really the problem; anxiety this bad will find some way to show itself no matter what you are doing. See a mental health professional or your own doctor. I know many people here think it should not be allowed to even mention this because of a general negative and mostly irrational attitude towards them, but maybe a small dose of a benzodiazepine like lorazepam would help you. If you are anti-benzo, some doctors give a low dose of a beta-blocker for situational anxiety; many people, including big names you would know, take one for stage fright, for example, with good results. I have struggled with anxiety for years and I personally do not think it can be overcome without some kind of medication; all the relaxation, meditation, etc. in the world never did anything for me, but again that is just my experience.

[Daisy425 in reply to yhsbirny]

Yes! I have a therapist and I take Zoloft!

[yhsbirny in reply to Daisy425]

Zoloft, as I'm sure you know, is an anti-depressant, and has only a secondary effect as an anti-anxiety medication, not a main effect. Many ADs do, but they are not even close to benzos in their power. If you are taking Zoloft for depression and it is working for that, that is great; if you are also looking for it to attack your anxiety, and you are still having anxiety this bad, it is not working for that from the content of your post. Are you close to the max dose of 200mg? If not, maybe raising the dose (if you can without more side effects) would help with the anxiety. Other than that, if you don't want to or can't take a small dose of a benzo (some doctors will not prescribe them, and i have written a lot here in defense of them trying to counter a widespread and mostly irrational attitude towards them), I really don't know what you can do. I suffered terrible anxiety for 30 years and found really no relief until I had to go to the ER with a panic attack and they gave me klonopin. It was like a dark curtain lifting. I had never even heard of benzos before. I found a new psychiatrist (how could my current guy not have given me this knowing my anxiety problem; because he was a strict "anti-benzo" guy!), got them prescribed, and have been on either klonopin or lorazepam ever since (around 12 years). Again, this is just my experience and I realize that what is good for me may not be good for others, and what helps others may not help me.

[Daisy425 in reply to yhsbirny]

My day to day anxiety is managed! It’s just this fear that spikes it. It’s not debilitating but it’s hard to shake. I take 225mg of zoft

[Trainchaser]

How are you feeling today?

[Daisy425 in reply to Trainchaser]

I’m feeling fine physically! It’s been 48 hours almost since I saw the child who threw up on the bus. I’m hoping that means I’m in the clear

[Trainchaser in reply to Daisy425]

Good news!

[Daisy425 in reply to Trainchaser]

Do you think I’m in the clear?

[Trainchaser in reply to Daisy425]

I would think so. Been over a few days

[Daisy425]

That’s a really great way to put it into perspective! Thank you!!

[Swilly97]

I'm so sorry Daisy425. You'll be ok. Take a deep breath and breathe out slowly. Don't believe everything your mind tells you. It lies.