Struggling with Persistent Dissatisfaction and Anxiety as an HSP: Is It Depression, Impostor Syndrome, or my ADHD Traits?

[SammyAU]

Despite being extroverted and outwardly cheerful, I've always battled a deep-seated dissatisfaction and negative mindset. As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), my emotional responses are intense, and I'm acutely aware of subtleties in my environment, which often amplifies my feelings of hopelessness, a companion since my earliest memories.

I'm plagued by unrelenting worries and fears that seem uncontrollable. Whether it's about health, finances, family, or work, my sensitivity leads me to expect the worst, creating a constant feeling of impending doom.

This heightened sensitivity also plays into my doubts about my achievements, intensifying my fear of being exposed as a fraud (Impostor Syndrome). Despite knowing I've earned my successes, I can't shake these doubts.

My HSP traits contribute to a natural tendency for perfectionism and pessimism. No matter the situation, I find myself striving for unattainable perfection and viewing things through a negative lens, often overwhelmed by my environment and internal thoughts.

Managing these overwhelming thoughts, emotions, and sensitivities is a Herculean task. They're like uninvited guests who refuse to leave, constantly clouding my mind.

Could this be a manifestation of depression, anxiety disorders, or intertwined with my ADHD? Or is it simply a part of who I am – my personality traits and sensitivity as an HSP? I'm reaching out to this community for insights, shared experiences, or advice on navigating these turbulent waters.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

ADHD and anxiety tend to go hand and hand. Most doctors will tell you that can treat one with medication and the other you go to a therapist that specializes in that disorder. I remember a comedian talked about it on a podcast. Because he was getting frustrated. By not remembering jokes. He would write down everything because his ADD would kick in and he would forget punch lines or get sidetracked. So we started writing down everything in his phone and also putting reminders in his phone. It just became overwhelming for him. Because he would find himself lying in bed at night. Thinking how successful he was but yet imagining the worst things happening to him. And he couldn't take it anymore and went to his doctor. The doctor told him that it's a combination of his ADHD and anxiety and they both go hand in hand. The doctor told him I can treat you for the anxiety. Give you medication s for the ADHD, may be a coach or a specialist to help him out with organization to help ease the stress in his life. Or treat the ADHD with medication and work on his anxiety with a therapist or counselor. He decided to take the doctor up on getting medication for his ADHD and work with a therapist for his anxiety. And he chose that therapy of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and reprocessing therapy)

Perfectionists aren't born, they are usually created. I know because all through my childhood I was pushed into being perfect. Which lead to me being my worst critic. My childhood trauma lead me to having C-PTSD (Complex post traumatic stress disorder)

Anxiety and imposter syndrome/ disassociation are common. We either think we are living a lie or it gets all to much and we check out of everything. Which leads to a fear of panic because we feel we aren't here. Oddly disassociation can come from stress, trauma also perfectionism traits.

Being a HSP is nothing wrong. But you do feel things more deeply than other people. I've always been told I'm sensitive. Usually that wasn't as a compliment for me as a child. Which lead to me having my own set of issues such as generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. Depression for me happens to be an offshoot because well when I'm anxious. I don't want to leave the house. And if I'm self-isolating myself, that eventually leads to depression because I feel like I'm missing the world. Everybody's living their life except me.

Anyways a lot of what you said could be helped with therapy like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) which will help you understand the thoughts that lead to particular patterns of behaviors.

DBT (Dialectical behavioral therapy) in which You were able to recognize the feelings and emotions that may be coming up in an anxious state and work through those feelings.

EMDR (Eye Movement and Desensitization and reprocessing therapy) to help pinpoint the traumas and or triggers that might cause your imposter syndrome or disassociation.

Anyways, I wish you light and healing on this journey. As a perfectionist myself. I know it's not easy. We put so much weight on our shoulders. And people tend to think since we carry it so well that it must mean it's not heavy. But it actually is. 🫂❤️

[SammyAU in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your insights and personal experiences. It's incredibly helpful to hear from someone who understands the complexities of dealing with ADHD, anxiety, and being sensitive.

I really appreciate your suggestion about different therapy approaches.

I also relate to your experiences as a perfectionist and the immense pressure that comes with it. It's a heavy load to carry, and it's comforting to hear from someone who understands that weight.

Thank you again for your kindness and for shedding light on these issues. Wishing you continued strength and healing on your journey as well! 🌟💛

[Worrier1960]

My uninformed guess is that your personality type is simply prone to anxiety. Mine is. I'm extroverted, but I always seem to find things to worry about to excess - whether it be my kids or my health or my job. Finding distractions usually works to reduce the anxiety.

[HopeforMiami]

Hi Sammy. This is a good place to share and get support. The answer to what is causing these feelings and behaviors is everything. Even more than you have imagined. It's even about the chemistry in your mom's body when she was pregnant with you.

I know that understanding these things is important and there's a great set of lectures by Robert Sapolsky from Stanford on behavioral evolution on YouTube.

The thing is, once you have a better understanding, or even now just try to surrender to yourself and your place in the world right now. Practice that every time you remember and you will start to feel the burden lift.

[HopeforMiami]

Also watch on YouTube: Why Zebras don't get ulcers, Robert Sapolsky.

[Mofro]

While reading the description you gave of yourself, I couldn't help but feel as if I could have been writing it. It also made me wonder if you may have undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, prompted by your statement "managing these overwhelming thoughts, emotions, and sensitivities is a Herculean task. They're like uninvited guests who refuse to leave, constantly clouding my mind" , as I have BPD myself. So of course I headed off to Google University, and came across this article distinguishing between HSP and BPD.

psychcentral.com/pro/exhaus...

I found this one paragraph to summarize what seems to be the most defining factor between the two:

" This is a common mistake made by people who don't understand the difference between the two. While most BPDs are also HSPs, the reverse is definitely not true. HSPs can even do some BPD behaviors when under the extreme stress of abuse or trauma, but it is not pervasive (in every environment) which is an essential element for BPD".

I'd never heard of the term Highly Sensitive Person before (it seems they come up with different diagnoses and acronyms for them every day) but when reading your description I definitely could see myself.

What I find to be one of the major frustrations with having mental health issues, is many times it's not a matter of finding one main diagnosis. More often than not, there's a comorbidity of different issues at play. This is what makes is very hard at times for "professionals" to sort things out, let alone common lay people such as ourselves.

In short, I think it would be near impossible for anyone here to answer your question for you, I just thought I'd weigh in with another possibility to confuse the issue even more 😊, but I will offer this, IMHO of course. Given your statements about "unrelenting worries and fears that seem uncontrollable" and "a natural tendency for perfectionism and pessimism", from my own life experience those point to anxiety issues that have gotten out of control. But again, there's often more than one issue at hand. Take depression and anxiety, both of which I have in my mental health bag. I often find them to be wonderful tag team partners. If my depression seems to be manageable, anxiety will step in which often makes the depression worse as well. Same thing in reverse. It's very seldom I feel relief from both on any given day.

I will say, even with the problems it may bring a person, I find being highly sensitive to be a blessing, even though at times it may seem to be a curse. I rather be a highly sensitive person, rather than being someone that's insensitive. 😉 In my opinion, being highly sensitive can also bring you joy that other people can't imagine, such as with music, nature, and having empathy for those less fortunate or in pain to name a few.

[Zucchin1]

I just want to say that I could have written your post. Thank you for sharing your painful challenges as it makes me feel less alone and erases the shame. Being an hsp is a trauma response to childhood. There are ways to heal from it. I was getting help in EMDR and CBT and goeuo therapy were all amazingly supportive in regards to the hsp/srs/ADD/anxiety I carry with me. I was feeling a lot better when I immersed myself in nature surround myself with a really wonderful loving community and literally just focused on healing. Unfortunately two months was not enough and I had to get back to work so I've been doing research. One thing I'm considering is the Stella gangling block injection for the Dual reset as it is proven to be helpful with hypervigilance and generalized anxiety disorder which is what I have. Sounds like it might be up your alley as well, I recommend researching it as it is fairly new in regards to this specific purpose. Also I had two doctors recommend that I try TMS as it has been around longer than SGB, and is typically covered by insurance. I hope this helps.