Tips on Becoming Less Dependent on Partner?

[headlikeahole]

Hey everyone

I am EXTREMELY dependent on my long distance boyfriend.

After our first visit a few weeks ago, I cried constantly because I couldn’t stand to be away from him. I have gotten better in that regard.

I still feel so bored when we aren’t on the phone and hanging out. I feel anxious without him (on top of the other anxieties that have been plaguing me for weeks).

I try to keep busy, but my other stresses fill my head and I only feel better when I’m hanging out with him. I go to him for support, of course, but it has gotten to the point where I talk about my anxieties almost constantly and I feel awful for it. He told me it is starting to bother him a little and I really don’t want to mess this up, I love him so very much.

I seek his reassurance and approval so damn much. I feel like I can’t live function without it. I don’t know how to make life decisions without his input. But I know this is bad and I need to stop.

Has anyone else struggled with this? How do you stay mindful and fix this issue? Please help.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi HLAH.

I'm sorry U find urself in the situation ur in & it's one that anyone who falls in love has experienced, so ur not on ur own here.

A suggestion if I may look at reading or puzzles that will engage ur brain & so preventing U getting into ur own head & overthinking everything, try to go out to see friends for a coffee during the daytime & if that doesn't sound like a plan I would fallback on keeping ur mind busy & reading I find helps me as it educates me & I'm forever reading up on how things effect people & not me as I've done that before & everytime on Google I've died by the 3rd click lol.

Keeping busy is what will help U & obviously U will have other things to talk about with ur LDB.

Lastly

I wish U love & light on ur journey.

[litethatnevergoesout]

that’s tough. what you’ve described has a touch of what is considered codependency. needing to be needed. take steps to take care of you. do you. it’s vital eventually you give up who you are and your morals and beliefs and even tolerate poor treatment and abuse.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

don’t mean to sound scary, I hate the word codependent.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

dodgedhanda has given great advice as to how to have that ‘me time’.

[Wakeboarder24]

Sometimes a new hobby helps. It can let you get out there and out of your head.