today I reached another low point while out ordering lunch I’m looking around the market and there was a nice looking cafe with a board that said worlds greatest grilled cheese . What could be more simple and delicious bread and cheese perfect. Exscuse me can I grab a worlds best grilled cheese from you.
The store keeper replied which one do you want ?
As he gestured to the menu board I looked at it and there where 15 different grilled cheese sandwiches.
Absolute nightmare I felt like Russell Crowe in a beautiful mind ( top movie by the way)
To my own shock after looking at the selection I said your going to have to give me time to consider so I ordered a coke and sat down with a photo the menu long story short 30 mins passed and in the end I asked for a simple grilled cheese.
But the anxiety of so many options which needed my usual over blown thoughts almost left me with out lunch.
I think that even when I overthink I’m not thinking at all from the looks of it
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it’s been really great to here from people here that it’s not only me having these problems honestly it’s the first time I’ve ever spoken about it anyone thanks for reply
I tend to get locked up in what I like to think of is, analysis paralysis. So many choices! I have worked on really trying to tap into my impulsivity in times like that and decide, “ok let me know over each options for 1-2 seconds and just see what sparks my interest…” then, when inevitably I only eliminate a handful of the many options at my disposal I just choose something at random and tell myself it is okay if I don’t like it, because then I just won’t order it next time.
Oh I wish I could do that glowingdarkly I really do by the time I have told my self what if I don’t like it I have already free falled into the abyss of my own thoughts. I used to be so full of confidence and would do things without to much thought but nowadays I’m simply to worried to make even the smallest of choices
I totally understand! I honestly, only push myself to do that when I am in a completely alien environment, I am such a creature of habit - I much prefer to go the the restaurants I know, order one of the 1-3 things I know I like, etc etc. If I am with a group of friends or family and they are asking, “Where do you want to go to eat?” I lock up and just defer to someone else after probably a too prolonged time of silence.
But what I’ve just been working on is to become better at being ‘ok’ with making mistakes or being wrong. Not saying that is the issue you are struggling with, that’s just a part of my own experience. So it is just from that vantage point, I am trying to just be okay with cutting off my analysis brain and just making an uninformed decision based on what shreds of my instincts that still exist.
Recognizing the signs you are about to descend into the abyss and stopping one’s self from delving is a learned skill that requires self-disipline and of course the emotional energy to do so. I find myself working all the time to recognize when I am starting to let my mind wander too far off in even small moments like sitting down and sipping my morning coffee. I try to be kind to myself and not repremand myself for going there, but working on the skill of acknowledging when that process has begun and gently pulling myself away from going too far by shifting my mind completely away into a new thing (like starting a new sudoku puzzle or standing up and washing my breakfast dish off).
I still fail a lot and find myself locked up. But just like working one’s body, the more you execise these mental muscles, the more I find moments of success where I can deflect my dark thoughts, leaving me just enough space to make an impulsive decision.
All this is just my experience, of course. So please take it with the grain of salt it is as we all have our own challenges and obstacles uniquely arranged based on our life experience. I believe in your own ability to get to the point where you can pleasurably enjoy the Worlds Greatest Grilled Cheese any time you want
I do all the same things that you do infact even when I’m with company I’m not in the room I’m completely lost in my thoughts some one told me the other day that it’s ok to drop the character I had created for myself and I almost burst into tears because it’s true there is me as a person and the me which my thoughts are creating everyday the real me behind all the intrusive thoughts and negativity only wants to be loved and accepted but the thoughts of my character are conflicting with that I even remember when I created him it was when I was at home with my family it would be like I’m watching a movie not actually living it and when my relationship ended the overthinking me had even more resolve to protect me and so whilst I don’t feel like i have split personality I do feel as though I’m simply automated by the thoughts in an effort to survive each day
I feel you on that one, my friend. The mask or construct we create to help give us some structure to cling onto when life gets it’s most turbulant can oftentimes really become like a prison. We learn to live so long as “that character” that we forget the wants and needs of our innerself.
A part of the process I am going through myself, right now, is finally really (re-)learning who I am and how that person can co-exist within the world I find myself in. Unfortunately, I feel like I am still in the very early stages of this process and I am not even sure if there is an otherside to this journey, at least that is how it feels. But I know that the mask I constructed for myself no longer could function and if I perseverated within it, it would not be good for my life long-term. I need to change myself and I may even need to build a new character for me to inhabit. This whole month has been one wracked with panic attacks and nightmares as I have been coming to terms with this.
Read your post with interest. I did have CBT and have tried looking at a bigger picture, best case and worst case scenario and does it really matter? I am so afraid of making a wrong choice.
Will re read and try and take some tips from what you said.
You make me feel normal. I thought I was the only one that disliked having an enormous list of options like that. Sometimes, I just go for the cheapest thing in the menu when that happens.
Honestly I wish it was only that I disliked to much choice it’s more like for me every choice will end badly and I can feel the tug to go for it but my mind simply cannot allow it. Up to this point I was unaware it’s not normal to do these things but now since speaking about it openly I can see it’s a huge problem
I think that's the root of my issue too. I guess my way of dealing with it has been setting the cheapest option as my boundary to eliminate the anxiety of a bad decision. Not sure if that makes sense.
I am the same. I cannot make a choice. I have been looking for a kitchen recycling bin. Simple for most folks. But not me. How big? How wide? Plastic? Hands free? Metal? Double bins? , the list goes on. I then have a measuring tape for where I want the bin to go. I spent hours researching. As a result couldn’t sleep still trying to choose. That was last week. Still no bin purchased and using a bag for rubbish. Have to say that now I am too low to put my bins out for bin collection day and the bags are piling up in the kitchen .
I know how it is and again until I said it out loud I didn’t realise it was so much of a big issue but it’s effecting every part of my life to be frank god willing you will be able to push through and buy the bin even if you have to force it and hate the bin you do get it’s at least countering the problems out brains are throughout up all the time
Too much input at once. It can freeze a person. First of all, you want a good grilled cheese and fancying it up doesn’t mean it’s going to be good. That was great you sat down and thought about it instead of succumbing to the clerks pressure to order. I always regret ordering when I wasn’t ready. Those huge menu boards drive me nuts and my brain goes blank. 🫨😁
I just this moment ordered a takeout from my usual place I didn’t even have to tell them what I wanted I just told them the address and they knew already it was heaven for me after todays saga. Right now I’m feeling completely normal but I know until 10pm when I finish work anything could set me off absolutely anything .
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xx
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Thankful for kind souls
