alone

[GreyWolf001]

Well, I grew up as a family scapegoat. I did not receive love or care from my family members. The rest of my relationships have been the same kind. My husband and his whole family have been mistreating me since the beginning. No true friends, minimum social life. I have been reading a lot and listening to self-help and self-improvement lectures. Today I feel proud of myself when I look at how far I have come and what I have achieved. However, on the other side, I feel stuck and empty. Often I feel like every single person I know dislikes and disrespects me. Since I tend to keep myself distant from most people (mainly to protect myself against their abuse), I feel like people do talk bad about me behind my back. I also have reached the point when I find it hard to go anywhere with my husband because he tends to humiliate me in front of other people. So, I have been trying to focus on myself, my children, my work, and my hobbies and doing my best not to think about weird incidents when they happen in interaction with other people, I have learned to put such thoughts aside with excuses that everyone is busy with their own lives and most of the cases bad incidents are not even triggered by me but I have just happened to be in the wrong time in the wrong place. But shouldn't there be at least one person who can look into my eyes and tell me that I am worthy too? I sometimes break down, I keep going for my children only, if it was not for them, I would be a long time ago gone, because why exist when everyone rejects you?

[Sandpiper14]

I am really sorry to hear this. Sometimes it’s easy to think that everyone hates you but I bet you have more people that love you than you think.

It’s never too late to make friends, you could start a club, a gym, join a dog walking group abything. There are groups of people out there that you could absolutely end up being good friends with so don’t despair.

it’s not very nice that you feel this way about your husband. Have you thought about getting a divorce at all? We are the makers of our own happiness and change happens when we do.

I hope you feel better soon💛 you can also DM me if you need.

[GreyWolf001 in reply to Sandpiper14]

It's been so many years for improving myself and my relationships, trying to do always the right thing but for now, I am just tired. There is not even a single person to whom I can vent and who would care. I have been searching for mistakes in me and in my behavior but people still disrespect me and dislike me. I have tried all these positive thoughts and trying to think in a reasonable way but reality keeps hitting me with new problems and situations. It is what it is.

[Perriex]

Hi GrayWolf,

It sounds like you have done your best with virtually no support.

You said that you have been reading & listening to self-help material, and focusing on your children, work, and hobbies.. you absolutely have the right to feel very proud of yourself!✨️

I can't imagine the strength that takes, when you don't have people close to you that give you the encouragement, understanding and validation that you deserve.

I truly hope your circumstances change, and good people come in to your life.

Until then, I commend you for coming here & reaching out. Please keep going. You are doing all the right things.

Sending you love & light.💜✨️

💫~P💫

[GreyWolf001 in reply to Perriex]

you have no idea how much your words mean to me 😭

[Perriex in reply to GreyWolf001]

✨️🤗✨️