Anxious about work, relationships, health and money

[Gandolfication]

Right now, I feel like I'm fearing everything - that I'm overwhelmed in my job as a lawyer, and can't catch up, stay on top of work, or deliver results, parent my kids well, provide for them, maintain a relationship with a significant other, or survive and meet my financial goals. I'm 1 year out from divorce after a 21-year marriage. It was the right thing, but it's been a lot of at times, painful change. I turned 46 this year, and had to get glasses, which are really bothersome o me in my job, reading, writing, and in court, all day. There are real issues with all of them. It's called life I guess. When I was younger (and had a different kind of religious belief), I was better at acting on these, instead of procrastinating, avoiding, resisting, and worrying.

I've been trying to learn and practice tools from CBT, ACT, and others, for some years now. It progresses slowly for me. 😡

[scansnap]

Isn’t everybody worried about money, relationships, work, and health? These days it’s hard not to be. However, it is a matter of degree.

I’m glad that you are studying CBT because it can be quite helpful. You do have a lot on your plate and you may wish to strengthen yourself, so to speak, by doing some additional relaxation exercises, such as meditation, deep, breathing mindfulness physical exercise and so forth. It is often a slow process to feel better, and there may be a few setbacks along the way, but as long as you are moving forward, you are doing a good job.

[Gandolfication in reply to scansnap]

Thanks.Some days I am... Moving forward.

Lots of days lately... I'm not sure.

[LoveforAll41]

I think it is totally understandable to be/feel overwhelmed. That is a lot on a person's plate. Have you practiced acceptance with this? I am thinking something along the lines of "of course I am overwhelmed, I am behind on work, I really care about my clients, I am so worried about my kids... etc." I am trying to accept emotions, I have trouble using acceptance because I so quickly want to go eat my feelings when I feel negative emotions.

It has been nice in therapy to understand why I have so much anxiety around money, work, school. They are all tied to security for me, or just kind of a sense that everything will turn out okay. Often I feel that things are not going to be okay, and have felt that way most of my life. I think it has mostly come from my parents arguing about money, then my mom would assure me it was okay, then they would argue again later. I understand that anything related to money for me, even if it is going to school to be able to make money, becomes something related to security/survival and is incredibly anxiety-inducing. It is hard to suck at those things, but I understand why it is so emotionally charged for me. Anyway now I am working on accepting that those things can make me feel the "I need to vomit" anxiety and it is actually very empowering. Maybe like this is the bottom and things can only get better.

[Gandolfication in reply to LoveforAll41]

Thank you for those words above. I teared up reading them.I know what you mean about feeling the distress and anxiety. over security and making money and performing.

At some point in my life I got good at school and found I could essentially master much of it and it gave me a full illusion that this should be the case for my life in general...which weather intentionally or not, was reinforced dramatically by religious indoctrinations I received.

I like the statements you wrote about affirming acceptance of the overwhelm. Naturally part of me still wants to know what I can then do about it, and I guess that is the next step of committed action and that is okay, but perhaps just to pause on the acceptance first.