Health Anxious

[Neeners1839]

I don't even know where to begin. I am so much mental distress. Anxiety is always there but lately it's been worse than ever before. I also believe I am severely depressed. It's affecting my mental and physical state and I am just so tired. I'm tired of the horrible fears and endless thoughts of tragedy and death from a terminal illness. My digestive system is a mess. Gnawing upper pain, bloating. Feels like I have to go constantly but I don't. Hopped into Mayo Clinic and stumbled upon colorectal cancer causes and symptoms. Now I feel certain symptoms and I don't know if it's due to overthinking or if I'm thinking because I felt the symptom. It's so absurd. I drive myself crazy. All I could think about are my children and family and how I can't die yet.

I started therapy yesterday. They prescribed Lexapro. Took it last night and this morning I felt like a zombie and nauseated. Immediately I associate the nausea with some type of gastro cancer. Why?! This has taken over my life and I'm sure affecting those around me. I want to be better. My mind is so ill. I had a child in December and I had a manic episode a few months after. OB felt it's post partum depression.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this.

[Neeners1839]

Thank you for your kind response Leon. I have been thinking of meditation lately. Anything would help at this point. Also hoping to get to the root of my problem. I hope you’re having a great day.

[ehhman]

I'm struggling with daily back pain and daily tension headaches but I certainly can tell this is from my anxiety. I combat it with exercise and meditation. Remember not to diagnose yourself with anything. (Dosen't really help in my opinion.) You've endured so many trials and you'll get throught this too.

[ehhman]

I think my headaches are also because of my posture. I'm interested in your offer too. Thanks for reading

[Ashleigh8910]

I feel like i could have personally written this post. Im am going through something VERY similar. I actually had a colonoscopy last friday and was cleared but the pain/symptoms are still here. I thibk the worst. I cant look at my kids without bursting into tears thinking something awful is happening to me. i know first hand how lonely/scary this can feel…just know theres someone out there going through the EXACT same thing.

[Neeners1839 in reply to Ashleigh8910]

Hello Ashleigh. Thank you so much for responding and sharing this with me. It has brought me to tears because I too am also familiar with this feeling. I seem to have added health anxiety to my anxiety over the years. Seeing the kids is what makes it so hard. The panic, the sorrow, the inability to feel joy and be happy for their sake. Then I guilt over making them miserable by not being this fun mom for them. I make myself crazy and all I want to do is sob and lay in bed. I am currently waiting on a GI appointment scheduled on the 20th. I can’t imagine waiting this long.

Are you an anxious person? Is this the first time you experience something like this?

[Ashleigh8910 in reply to Neeners1839]

Im in tears too because it is a small bit of relief to think someone is going through my same type of situation. Being like this can fee so lonely…even when surrounded/supported by my family. I have been anxious for many years but its only been REALLY bad a handful of times. (This being the worst) Im looking to find a therapist/counselor whos dealt with health anxiety before. I feel like its a very unique type of anxiousness and my need a specific approach. Im super fearful that nothing is going to help I hate that you have to wait that long…i know what torture every day can bring when you are in this state.

[Neeners1839 in reply to Ashleigh8910]

Counseling is definitely a great and first step. I am waiting on an appointment for this as well. My family is supportive but it’s reached a point where they don’t know what else to say or do. My husband became very angry when I broke down once again about my fears and said I make the entire house depressed. I don’t mean to. I don’t want to feel this way. I just want to be okay, I want to live long enough to send my children on their way yet here I am wasting time being totally miserable and sad. I recognize that my life is filled with stressors currently and I don’t know (and I hope) that maybe all this is is my mind saying “enough”. Self diagnosis and tragedies on social media also don’t help at all. Hugs to you Ashleigh. I wish nothing more but healing and positive vibes for us.

[lovetodance2018]

Thanks for reaching out and sharing. I am sorry you are struggling. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since my second daughter was born and she is now 23. It took me over a year to find the right medication and counseling. I found it took about two weeks before I could tell if the medication worked for me. Wellbutrin works for me. It took trying several doses till I didn't have nausea with it.

Through therapy and being on a self-journey of why I struggle with depression, I have figured out I struggle with trying to be perfect all the time. That everything has to be in its place. I also had to accept the fact that depression and anxiety is a disease and I am not the one causing it and no t being hard on myself and giving myself breaks was important for my mental health.

These techniques really help me. I hope you will find them useful too.

1) Remind myself healing comes from the inside out. It starts with letting go of the things of the past, forgiving and changing our focus and behavior. Becoming aware of what you need through self-care and personal nourishment. Take time for yourself - you are worth it. Like taking walks, baths, massages, mani/pedi/, listening to uplifting music/sermons and anything that makes you feel refreshed and renewed.

2) The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thoughts. I do this one to three times a sitting.

3)The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those.

4) Emotional Freedom Tapping - bit.ly/3AVYNiX You use pressure points to tap on those points while you repeat positive uplifting things to yourself.)

I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

[Neeners1839 in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you and bless you for your kind and warm words. You are so right about the defeating words and thoughts. They are my worst enemy. It’s like a deep hole I can’t crawl out of until the thought clears. I will add you and hope it’s okay. Thank you.

[panamaborn]

Be strong and know your not alone

[Neeners1839 in reply to panamaborn]

Thank you!