The sudden urge to remember all the bad things that happened because of me, all the people that would be better without me, all the pain me and people around me wouldve been spared of... I dont know man, it makes me feel like I shouldve never been born. This was one of my first stages on the evolution of my suicidal ideation, but man it does get so overwhelming on my birthday. I want love, but I do not think I deserve it.
I want to be happy...
You deserve to live a good life. I’m so sorry that U R in such pain. Please check out and see if there is a suicide prevention hotline in your country. It’s good that U have come to HU. People here R warm and supportive
You do deserve love. Everyone deserves love. Let me ask you, if you saw someone with Tourettes act out, would you think that person doesn’t deserve to be loved? Of course not and neither do you. We have an illness just more complicated than most. I understand the wishing you were never born, I think that on daily basis but there are people who are glad we were.
Happy Birthday 🎂
Happy Birthday!!! 🎁🎈🎉
Hope you smiled smiled 😁
Thank you ❤️
Happy Birthday Dear. I completely understand your feelings. I too think like this most of the time. But believe, if God has created us, he must have had a purpose to do it. In this world, there will be atleast someone who will need us. It can be a human or a life in other form. Hope you find the one who genuinely needs you. Be more active in this platform, we are with you to help you overcome this feeling. You are precious. If we strangers wish you to live happily, I am sure, someone near you also wants the same for you. Smile on your Birthday plz. ☺️
God and my Mom are the reason I havent offed myself by now... so you may be right on that, It just is so overwhelming...
And thank you for your support, it means a lot to me ❤️
Happy birthday 💐
Life can be so hard sometimes , but it can also be beautiful, so try and enjoy your birthday, we are all here for you 😘x
Hi lynnsalv please give your self some room to improve your mood ! You may be over critical of your self looking back into your past isnt always good thing to do as youve found out for your self ! Instead of looking to your past look around you in your present time this is something you can change if you feel the need to !
I am trying to change, I really am. I have improved a lot of aspects of my life, both physical and social, but it sometimes feel like even the smallest thing can push you down to the hole, or maybe I am too sensitive. I have endured for like 8 years, I dont know why it is so hard right now...
But you are right, I will continue to do that, thank you ❤️
I hope you find a few peaceful happy moments on your special day... happy birthday and all the best.
Sending Birthday wishes and hugs x
I noticed these feelings tend to arise on my birthday too. Like a rabbit hole of all the pain and guilt and shame running through our head all at once. I promise this feeling will pass, a better day will come, and we are here if you ever need someone to talk to . Happy birthday 🎂
Thank you so much, you dont know how helpful knowing I have a place to go to is, even if I end up not using it because of any motive, only having it is so helpful.
Thank you so much ❤️
Happy birthday to you. You might spend some time delving into your beliefs and programming about why you don't deserve love; where did they come from and from whom and do they serve you now. A lot of us were never taught or modeled how to do it and even shamed and punished for it. Since you are an adult now, you get to choose what beliefs are good for you and reject the one's that aren't. The other helpful thing is spending time learning to truly love and accept yourself because it is the most important and healthiest love there is. Look at ways of improving your self-worth. There is a lot of good info on youtube about learning to love and accept yourself you can check out.
I will give it a search, thank you! I have some mmm disgust towards myself, sometimes I dont even want my hands touching me for the disgust it brings. My self esteem is the number one thing that I need to improve on, it is just so hard. But nothing easy is worth having I guess, so Ill definitely do that and try it out. Again, thank you so much ❤️
You're very welcome, you might spend some time on Youtube, there is a lot of good info on improving your self-esteem and self-worth and it's free to watch.
An important thing to realize is that you were not born with low-self-esteem and hating yourself, you were taught and conditioned to do it by inadequate parenting and/or other circumstances in your life - it was not your fault. Since it is learned behavior you can unlearn it and relearn constructive ways of seeing and thinking about yourself, give it a go.
You may be right, neuroanatomy tells us that the brain has plasticity, so rewiring my bad programming is very possible. My enviormental circumstances keep pushing me back to the hole, sadly UnU I am very weak. Ill look for balance and stability to keep climbing the hole more steadily. The self esteem videos on youtube give me so much sadness, they feel like unreal or unable to apply to me, it is very hard UnU but I will keep giving it a try still
Thank you ☺️
I wish I could sleep
I'm never ok and I won't be
Just wish I was DEAD!!!!
Hello. I wish the best for everyone.
today is my birthday 