Discussion for Everyone to Share

So, I want to make this post and hope as many of you will reply to help yourself or others cope with anxiety and/or depression. I know for me, I'd like to hear ideas. So, it would be nice if you can list one thing that helps you cope with anxiety and/or depression. For me, watching horror movies and comedies distracts me away from my depression. What about you?

[Kat63]

It helps me to name it for what it is: “This is anxiety,” “Oh, the depression is back.” Or “I’m having a panic attack.”

[jkl5500]

I tell everyone on here to watch Dr. Claire Weekes' videos on YouTube, in order to deal with anxiety. Her books are even better.

[JAYnLA in reply to jkl5500]

The would have been my entry so I won't be redundant!

[Agora1]

Hi AG170, Welcome! The one thing that helps me best with anxiety

is proper deep breathing. Has been the key to my success. Wish you well xx

[mrmonk]

Simply talking to someone or having someone present can see me through certain anxious moments.

[Hidden in reply to mrmonk]

This helps me too.

[mrmonk in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, I find that knowing I'm not alone makes the distress more bearable. Also, at least in my experience with anxiety, being in the moment with someone else redirects my attention from what's going on in my head. Then, with the help of the deep breathing Agora1 mentioned, the bodily manifestations of anxiety usually start to dissipate.

Watching certain favorite movies and TV shows will often comfort me when I'm feeling depressed, so I can relate to your experience in that regard.

Welcome to the HealthUnlocked community, by the way!

[Hidden in reply to mrmonk]

Thank you! I don't usually have people to talk to, which is one of the big reasons why I think I have depression, however, it's certainly not the only reason. I'm a very quiet, and will admit, usually boring person, who hardly ever has the right thing to say, so people don't connect with me too well. I will say, though, I can be funny from time to time, so at least there is that I guess, lol.

[mrmonk in reply to Hidden]

You're quite welcome! I'm much the same way, except that once I do start talking, I get very garrulous because I'm a nervous-talker. I'm much more comfortable asking questions and listening.

I have the most trouble connecting with people online, though, because I have OCD and one of the ways in which it manifests is that I compulsively revise what I write, even a short comment or message, like this (an hour and counting now). In this day of instant messaging, I worry that my delayed responses come across as disinterest or neglect, when that is never the case.

Ultimately, all I can do is try to be as open as I can, and just be myself. It helps me to keep in mind that even if I'm boring to the majority of folks, there are also people out there who might find me interesting in all my boring glory.

And it definitely helps to keep a sense of humor about it all. 😺

Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to -- it may take me a while to reply (as evidenced by this now two hour to compose comment), but know that I will hear you and respond.

[Hidden in reply to mrmonk]

I also have assumed people have found me uninteresting, thus, leading them to ignore me after awhile. Psh, not even after awhile, really in just a short time, lol. And to be real, I think not being so pretty has deterred people away from me too. I don't mean that in a low confidence way, even though it's true that I'm not so confident sometimes, but I'm just speaking what I think are facts. I think many people enjoy being in a relationship with, friends with, and all that to people who have some sort of good looks, does that make sense to you? It does to me. Either way, not having someone to talk to is tough, so I appreciate you offering to talk to me, I will definitely continue talking to you!

[mrmonk in reply to Hidden]

I dunno, I've always believed that beauty is subjective -- all that "eye of the beholder" stuff -- and though one would obviously have to be attracted to a romantic partner, I don't see how appearance would factor into a friendship at all. I mean, I know a lot of people take stock in societal standards of beauty and everybody's different, but, personally, I wouldn't pursue a relationship of any kind with someone who couldn't enjoy my company because of how I look; I want to befriend people that I connect with on a more emotional level.

[Hope4me1 in reply to mrmonk]

Having an understanding person to talk to makes all the difference. Still trying to find one, though. Hate to burden my daughter with my problems. She has her own family and life to deal with. She is so very sweet to call often and try to help. I am lucky to have her.

[Hidden in reply to Hope4me1]

I'm glad you have someone to at least go to if you need it. It's a comfort having some kind of support system.

[Hope4me1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for caring❤️

[mrmonk in reply to Hope4me1]

The great thing about this place is there are lots of understanding folks here who are willing to listen. Of course, finding someone with whom you are simpatico can take some time, but I think it's worth the wait. And it's wonderful that you have such a caring daughter, what a blessing!

[Hope4me1 in reply to mrmonk]

I think you are very positive to say this, thank you!

[shoppaholicsue in reply to Hope4me1]

Don't forget - you've always got us. Someone is always here. Thats one reason while this forum us so great - it's worldwide and there is always someone awake!

Sue

[Hope4me1 in reply to shoppaholicsue]

This is good to always remember. Thank you, Sue

[Hidden]

Making jigsaw puzzles.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That's unique, how awesome.

[raesong1017]

Listening to music

[bluestars725]

It's different for both. With my anxiety, depending on the situation I try to do deep breathing or listen to music to cope. With my depression, I often find that if I can get out of bed, the only thing I can bring myself to do is watch tv. Which sometimes provides distraction.

[Hidden in reply to bluestars725]

Very much relatable. You're the third person who said that deep breathing works, so it seems to be a good strategy.

[bluestars725 in reply to Hidden]

It's the first coping skill that I learned early on in therapy, that I still come back to years later. It helps ground me.

[Hidden]

Writing and Performing my original music. I love it, because it makes others feel better which in turn makes me feel better. My band is all about a positive message and faith.

[Nom-D-Ploom in reply to Hidden]

I write songs to get my angry out. My father actually likes a song I wrote about him! …….he didn't understand it was him...…….very strange.

[Hidden]

Baking, painting, journalling , cleaning, meditating/praying, Netflix, movies, books. 💕

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

Looking for a good Netflix film ...any suggestions hope I can’t make decisions very well I look at the list and go ..no..no..no..the last thing I watched was birdbox 🤦‍♂️It was dire...

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

What types do you like

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

I like a good thriller..fatal attraction..basic instinct. the ring 😬

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

Have you seen ‘Hush’ 🤫

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

No is it a winner ?

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

Yeah I thought it was but hubby got bored of it haha 🤣

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

Better than birdbox?is it scary...?i ll try it 😂

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

Birdbox was so hyped up and ended up being not great lol

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

Try ‘Kidnap’ if you’ve not seen that .

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

Ok I’ll have a peep thanks...yeah mermade said birdbox was good 🤦‍♂️Jeez haven’t watched anything since haha 🙋🏻‍♂️

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

🤣 👋🏽

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

I love a good thriller too 😁 it’s a great distraction !

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

Just watched..kidnap..😂...go Halle ..won’t tell you the ending in case you haven’t watched it ....shouldn’t watch scary stuff Olivia 😊

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

I’ve seen it lol

There a new series starting this eve on bbc called trust me looks like maybe good..

Line of duty is good on a Sunday too..

I don’t tend to watch horror movies as I get a bit too freaked out haha

[Hidden]

Meditating helps me, or a good series or movie ...

When I’m up to it a trip to coffee shop near the canal if poss..water seems to relax me x

[Jeff1943]

Nobody recovers from anxiety disorder (and feeling depressed about having anxiety) by losing themselves in distractions and trying to blank it out. When the distraction ceases the anxiety is still there waiting for us.

Recovery requires that we face our symptoms, head straight towards them and pass through panic and high anxiety. And we do this by accepting for the time being all our symptoms knowing full well that they are fake and fraudulent.

Those chest pains are not a heart attack waiting to happen, they are muscular tension caused by anxiety.

Those stomach pains are not caused by a tumour but by too much worry, overwork and stress.

Those visual disturbances, the shimmering images, don't mean you're going blind, they are tricks an oversensitive nervous system play on our eyes.

We know this because our doctors have told us so and No they haven't missed something.

We know that an over sensitive nervous system can imitate a whole host of illnesses. Why then should we go fearing these false messages? And flooding our sensitised nerves with even more fear hormone time after time?

Instead of fearing fake symptoms we should accept them passively for the moment. Do not fight them, you will not win, fighting anxiety only causes more stress and tension: the last thing any of us need.

Instead of blocking things out with distraction keep yourself occupied with whatever tasks the day demands, conscious of your anxiety and your willing acceptance of it (for the moment). But without obsessing or stressing about it: too much introspection is counter productive and unnecessary.

You cannot cure yourself of an illness you don't have no matter how hard you try: symptoms are fake illnesses. Instead direct your attention towards ruthlessly neutralising the causes of your anxiety and towards dealing with the anxiety state itself.

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you for sharing this. I guess this could be why its said to choose mind over matter. Also, to understand the problem, but not dwell on it, or to think smarter and not harder. It's easy to get caught up in thoughts, but it's important to understand that we are the ones who control our own thoughts. Again, thank you.

[Nom-D-Ploom]

The thing that has helped me the most is changing the way I see pain and fear, to step back and accept that I can barely change myself. There is no way I can change others. I hope I can say this right; there will be terrible times. Times you will not feel like you can go on. Remembering this, I count the hard things today as practice. Like exercise, emotions get stronger. I hurt today. I will assess that and move on. Some issues require a lot more practice than others. That's OK.

As a part of the practice I also pray. I believe that there is a personality which transcends all. I pray. If the release from the situation does not seem to be happening, remember that if we accept that God is able to stop this, if we accept that he wants the best for us we must accept that there is a reason.

[Hidden in reply to Nom-D-Ploom]

That's very insightful, thank you. It's true that hard times happen, and they will continue to happen, so it's important to have ways to handle and cope with them.

[teemo1]

I practice acceptance as Jeff1943 described above, just allowing myself to feel anxious and not engaging with it, not struggling with it, not trying to make it go away, just allowing myself to feel it. I remind myself that every single time I do this I am teaching my brain that I am in no danger and do not need adrenaline to protect me. And so I try to welcome anxiety and think of every occurrence as another opportunity to retrain my brain. This gradually takes the wind out of its sails.

I think of panic attacks not as something that happens to me, but as something I do. It's me reacting to a negative thought or feeling, which causes a surge of adrenaline, and nothing more than this. I am not in fact panicking, and nothing is attacking me ("panic attack" is a real misnomer). The more accepting I am, the more calm I can find.

Also, regardless of how I'm feeling, I try to maintain a daily habit of guided meditation. I use the Headspace app, but I know there are many others. I think it really helps me stay in the right zone.

Finally, coming on here and finding and participating in conversations like this is very comforting.

[Missinglobe89]

I've been binging true crime podcasts