Meditative Ramblings

[SphericalDepths]

It's a beautiful cloudy day, one of the first Fallish days of the year. When we go out to lunch, I admire the dogs and analyze the people walking them. They don't look lonely. They look like they have things going for them. The people exude a carefree energy in this part of town.

I don't mind that I receive daily emails from Sephora or that I get notifications from Netflix. If it weren't for the itching, I wouldn't mind getting bitten by mosquitoes either.

I feel kind of solemn today. The first tear feels cool on my cheek. Sometimes I feel an irresistible urge to hold someone's hand, to be patted on the shoulder.

There's no one I look forward to seeing when I go out anymore. Even when there were, I was only allotted a tiny piece of their attention -- or none at all.

It is very hard to savor the present moment. This is something I must strive for. It is worth making an effort to let go of that which has already passed.

My pulse quickens when I see other people in their 20's who like they belong in a drama or on a trendy campus. My heart sinks when I worry that I won't have another opportunity to be around a good selection of people my age. I am young for a spinster but old for a child.

I dread how my continued unemployment would affect my propensity to take pleasure from life. In the absence of certainty about the future, there should be hope for good outcomes, but I have, perhaps erroneously, linked the future to my past, and my past to shame and disatisfation.

I rarely feel connected to anything larger than myself. I spent my childhood and teen years carving out a cubby hole that separated me from everyone else. What kind of person deliberately excludes herself?

It would seem an obvious solution that the disconnected would find solace in each other, but usually, the other Disconnecteds are not the ones I seek to impress. I feel ashamed to want more than I deserve. I have fallen into a whirlpool of expectations that cannot be met.

Please reply with your favorite shade of red and the best time to look at the sky. If you could design your own best friend or lover, what qualities would they have?

[Agora1]

SphericalDepths....I love your writing. I like feeling and seeing your emotions

in words. I'm a big believer in Meditation both Visionary and Imagery. Happy

to Welcome you to our caring community. xx

Will get back to your questions (I'm thinking) lol

[SphericalDepths in reply to Agora1]

Thank you! I appreciate it.

[Swilly97]

I like this post, even sad it's remarkable. Thank you for sharing. ✨️ I understand your feelings.

My favorite shade of red is like a cherry 🍒 red. Not orangey but more purpley. If that makes sense.

I love the sunset time to look at the sky but, a full moon never disappoints.

I have a best friend and lover and she has all the qualities I love, so, I'm sorry I can't get into that too much lol

I don't really have much support or anything. Just her and this community. Your words are familiar.

[TangledUpIn]

Red sky at dawn is my favorite shade of red and my favorite time of day to look at the sky.

[litethatnevergoesout]

red every time that they love me