support group for teen with depression

[cynthiaY]

Hello. I am new to this community, happy to have found it.

My teen is suffering from depression, including self harm and suicidal thoughts. I am desperately searching for an online support group for him. I strongly believe that by hearing others' stories he won't feel so alone in his journey. I am open to suggestions, the more the better as we live over seas and have to find a group that meets at an hour that is not in the middle of the night our time.

I wish everyone a sense of calm & wellness.

Thanks

[IncognitoC]

I know that you want to help your son and on here there’s a lot of people who can advise and relate to what he is going through but I think he needs to speak to someone professional in mental health. His self harm and suicidal thoughts are more than we can advise on. Please if there’s any telephone numbers you can call then please contact them.

[cynthiaY in reply to IncognitoC]

Thank you so much, yes he is being treated by both a psychologist(weekly) and a psychiatrist (monthly). He is also on anti depressants. I was just hoping to find an online support group for teens for him in the hopes he can hear others' stories and relate. If any come to mind please share.

[Beevee]

Very sorry to learn about your son's mental health issues. As a Dad of four kids, it must also be very concerning for you ❤

Firstly, IncognitoC is right about seeking professional help if not already done so.

From personal experience, having suffered and recovered from anxiety and depression, I do know that suicidal thoughts can be a symptom of anxiety. Not so much about the thought and planning of carrying it through, but more about a thought about suicide that comes uninvited and frightens the individual so much they worry about it all day, fearful that they might go through with it.

I suffered from these thoughts for a while but learnt that they are just a by product of having an overly anxious mind that produces anxious and scary thoughts.

I dont have much experience about self harm but do believe that it is a way to avoid or block out mental anguish caused by anxiety and depression, albeit temporarily.

I digress slightly but other anxiety sufferers may choose a different method to avoid those fearful feelings such as developing a compulsion that becomes obsessive (OCD). An easy example would be someone who fears their house will be burgled so they continually check doors and windows are secure. This constant checking is designed to avoid or address those thoughts and fears about being burgled. As long as a sufferer keeps dwelling upon those thoughts, they will continue to come and so the compulsion to check doors becomes obsessive.

People who become fearful of open spaces become agoraphobic. When I say they fear open spaces, that isn't strictly true. They actually fear how they might feel if they go outside so they stay home. If a person has a panic attack at a restaurant, they dont go back because they mistakenly believe being at the restaurant was the cause. In reality, they are afraid of the feelings of fear, not the restaurant.

Where am I going with all of this?

I believe that your son's symptoms, including depression may all be connected to anxiety and fear or fearing the feelings of fear.

All of these symptoms will disappear by learning to accept anxiety and depression instead of doing battle with it in his head all day.

I am mindful that I do not know your son's circumstances or what might have led him to where he is now with his mental state but if there is any underlying issue or problem keeping him in his current state, that will need to be addressed first, with professional help.

Like me, many sufferers don't have a particular problem or issue causing their chronic anxiety and depression (anxiety sufferers become depressed or depleted because they lose all hope and resilience due to their continued suffering with little respite) . If they did have a problem, it has long since been forgotten about.

Their main issue has now become their struggle to cope with the anxiety and depression and they unwittingly become trapped in a vicious cycle that can be broken by fully accepting and being ok about not feeling ok

Knowledge and understanding is key and I learnt a lot from a book published by Dr Claire Weekes called Essential Help for Your Nerves and started practising her teachings of facing and accepting those fears and the feelings of fear (see my restaurant example).

Acceptance addresses the root cause of all symptoms of anxiety which is fear (or a strong dislike) of anxiety and depression.

I have posted alot of information on this forum which might help to explain what your son might be feeling and the meaning of acceptance.

I wish you both well and happy to respond to any other questions you might have.

Best wishes

Beevee ❤

[cynthiaY in reply to Beevee]

Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, I agree that his anxiety is the main cause for the depression. He is working weekly with a therapist and is also on anti depressants. It is difficult for him to speak and share his inner thoughts, so therapy is moving along at a slow pace. That is why I had thought about him being in an age appropriate support group so he could hear other teens' stories and see that he is not alone. If you have any suggestions I am open to them.

thanks again for your input

[Beevee in reply to cynthiaY]

You are welcome! I do have some suggestions but more to do with helping you to understand what your son is going through and what he needs to do to do recover. If your son is in his early teens , I might be difficult for him to grasp the concept of acceptance, especially if he is feeling totally bewildered by all the symptoms and in fear of them.1. Read the book i mentioned in my first message by Dr Claire Weekes. This is one of the best if not the best book you can buy about anxiety and depression. It teaches sufferers everyhting they need to know about anxiety and depression, symptoms, and how to overcome the disorder. It is the complete A to Z and if followed to the letter, recovery is inevitable. This is not a hard sell. I recovered completely by following the principles that Dr Weekes teaches, namely facing, accepting, floating past the feelings and letting time pass so I know it works.

If you understand the content, you will be able to provide advice and guidance for your son. and that he cannot simply snap out of it. If he could, he would have done so.

Accept, dont fight the symptoms. One of a sufferers dearest wishes is to be able to talk to a person who understands what they are going through. Anxiety can make a person feel very lonely, even with family around them.

2. Refer to any of my posts on this forum. They are all based on the principles described above and my own experiences during my recovery and will provide some insight which may be useful.

3. Visit a website called anxietynomore.co.uk.

This website complements beautifully the teachings of Dr Weekes and provides a lot of information and advice, as well as a blog containing posts from others who recovered by accepting the symptoms. This website played a very important part of my understanding anxiety and learning to accept the symptoms.

Acceptance is not some quick fix, get rich quick scheme. It is about letting the symptoms be there without question so that the mind and body has the time and space it needs to recover. It is the same physiological process that cures illness and injury. Anxiety is a symptom of illness of the involuntary nervous system that has been sensitised through constant worry and stress. In your son's case worry and stressing about feeling worried and stressed. Sensitisation magnifies all emotions tenfold. This means a sufferer will find if extremely difficult to perform tasks that used to be routine, like attending school or going to a shop. They lose interest in their hobbies and withdraw from social life (because they feel fearful all day).

It's easy to see how a person gets trapped in the cycle, leading to depression (emotional reserves are drained).

Acceptance means the sufferer stops adding more worry and stress so nerves havevthe chance to desensitise, to recover and for normal feelings to return. The symptoms gradually disappear.

4. This one might be difficult to find and worth their weight in gold if you do. A skilled therapist who has very good knowledge of anxiety, understands acceptance and able to talk to your son in a manner that he can understand and can relate to.

Happy to help you further if you need it.

Best wishes

Beevee ❤