Need Advice

[BrightPlaces]

Right now the only thing that is making me want to hold on to life is that I have a life insurance policy that requires me to continously have it for two years before my family members can get any money if I commit suicide. I hit my two years this January, I don't know how I'm going to want to live after that. Right now I don't feel any joy in anything and I don't know how to feel again. I have tried therapy but I haven't connected with a single person. I'm lost.

[Ellamaye]

As terrible as that reason to carry on is. At least it will tide you over till hopefully something changes. You obviously love your family . I can't talk cos I keep my stuff to myself but can you talk to them about this ?

[BrightPlaces in reply to Ellamaye]

My SO and I talk about my mental health a lot and it's started to affect him as well. He doesn't feel as though he is enough and to me he is more than I deserve. I don't want to be even more of a burden to him. And as far as the rest of my family goes, I don't let them know I'm struggling I am the only grandchild and child on my dad's side and the oldest for my mother and siblings. My mother, father, and sister all struggle with their own mental illnesses and I don't want to add mine to theirs.

[gajh]

I am glad that you found this community. You are not alone. You can connect with others here who can understand. Welcome.

[1947treble]

I'm sorry that you're going through this is. But life changes, you never know if you'll find a way out and become happy. Don't rob your family of what may come. Life was miserable for me for years but now it's beautiful. I never would've guessed that when I was depressed. This too shall pass though it may be a long time.

[Cherryfizz34]

What I said didn’t help. Please read the above comments. The feelings go away. Sometimes life can get worst for a bit. But the strength of overcoming your own death is like a metal 🥇. You can do it. I believe in you. 💪 People depend on you. 🙌.

[ZakyZag]

Please hold on. Life is hard, try to stand connected on here and in person with family and friends. I lost every one important to me before I was 17. You matter to more people than you know. Find a good therapist. I know that's easier said than done. Perhaps you need a medication adjustment. Consider checking into the hospital. Do anything and everything possible to LIVE.

[bonkers65]

Hang in there. Things change.