Panic! At the sanatorium. Anxiety snowballs. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE. ANXIETY OVERLOAD!!!

[Against_the_current]

So arrived at the sanatorium. It's a hospital and it looks terrible and I'm sharing a room with grandma and she was grumpy and i had a panic attack, traveling and thinking about grandma and then seeing how bad the place looks. I was crying and im worried i worried mom.

I was panicking so hard i even called that one guy from the app while grandma went to buy water, because i had nobody else to talk to asap. And now i feel even worse. I feel like im philophobic. And when he started talking about his ex i felt even worse. I'm an idiot. I panic all the time and i do stupid things out of panic which panic me even more afterwards. And no matter how hard i try it only gets worse. I came here to try to get better and i had a feral panic attack. I've never had such a bad panic attack and so continuous anxiety. I feel like im going insane. And while im insane i do stupid things, attempting to get better, which lead to dread, more Anxiety or troubles afteerwards.

My vision is blurry. I couldn't even type. My head hurts like hell. My stomach is on knots. I had to go have lunch because i would miss it but the food i didn't like and i was ready to throw up. I have tingling sensations in all my muscles. Thought about asking the doctor here but she's not understanding and she's like those people "you're too young to be anxious", "you're a psychology student, how can you not help yourself" and "you should help yourself or you're just gonna continue getting hysterical". I'm not hysterical, I'm panicking real hard but keeping quiet for grandma and trying to act normal. But i might really get worse. I feel like I should avoid all people. People talk to me about their other friends, about exes and so and i have none of these. I just feel like i should ghost everyone and go completely missing. But then when im back and i see nobody actually cares if im there or not, im gonna go back to my dread and gloom and it will trigger more panic attacks. I can't find right treatment and i can't find right friends.

Please don't judge, im really vulnerable rn and i jusge myself even more and im using all my power left to try to type and im terrified of the place and grandma. It's 3:30 pm and i just want this day to be over. I have been in panic since 9 am. Imagine

[Danzdanz123]

hello,

Sometimes when someone is experiencing the same thing it can give them a sense of relief, I have been having constant panic attacks and anxiety and want to just escape my body but too scared of dying and the unknown, each day I get the sense of doom but with a different sensation and today my vision feels like I’m on drugs. What I want to tell you is no matter how horrible it is and how much it feels like you are going insane and die, it will peak and subside no matter how long it lasts it will peak your body will have had enough at some point if you don’t like you current surroundings maybe watch something on your phone and take your mind else where. I know that’s hard too but I promise you you will be okay and you will get through this!

[Against_the_current in reply to Danzdanz123]

Thank you. The same - my vision is like im on drugs underwater. I feel like i will go insane and I need to die. My stomach and head are killing me. Thank you for reaching out

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Against_the_current]

no matter how uncomfortable it feels there’s something inside you that wants to survive and that’s why your body is responding that way, I hope you find something that comforts you even if it’s for a minute. Promise you won’t go insane you wouldn’t be able to write this post If you were!

[Against_the_current in reply to Danzdanz123]

Thank you. Tho my sister thinks im insane. Something in me is fighting hard...how do i stop it

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Against_the_current]

it doesn’t matter what people think your sister hasn’t had the experience you have had I’m guessing she doesn’t suffer with anxiety or panic? Telling you right now you wouldn’t know you were going insane If you were. I’ve been getting really bad waves of it what I do go to calm it even if it doesn’t go away I get up move around Shake my body shake my hands and tell myself it’s just a feeling and it will pass, tell yourself it will pass tell your mind it’s just anxiety no matter how bad you believe what’s happening to you right now. This sounds crazy but sometimes I’ll pull a funny face or do star jumps or say something in a silly voice and then think well I wouldn’t be able to do those things If what I’m thinking If what I’m feeling is true. It’s so hard when you are stuck in a loop but I promise it will peak and you will come round again.

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Against_the_current]

also I’m so very sorry that the people around you are not supportive I can only imagine that makes you feel worse, but think of it this way it’s only because they do not understand what you are going through because it’s not happened to them, keep posting to us, we are here and we hear you and understand what you are going through because we are going through it too!

[Against_the_current in reply to Danzdanz123]

Thank you. My dad and sister think im crazy, mom and grandma freak out, get frustrated , tell me im troubling them when i freak out. I guess im different

[SoporRose in reply to Danzdanz123]

Danzdanz123,

There's so much wisdom and understanding in your words! I hope you are feeling better. Panic attacks are awful and we never get used to them.

Ruth

[Operalady]

hello I understand how you feel! My panic is pain stabbing in my heart and gut. I feel like I wish God would just take me out of the world. I am not young like you and my panics have gotten worse. I know what triggers me! But haven’t gotten past this big one! Reading about how others deal with their panic and pain helps , others in the same boat! You are not alone!!! I pray that you and I find what we need to heal and for others also who suffer! I am right with you and I Understand. You are not Crazy, just highly sensitive please God you created us you know what we need. Please give us knowledge and strength so we can heal and help others who feel lost and alone with these emotions!! God bless !!!

[Against_the_current in reply to Operalady]

Thank you. I feel it. I know what triggered me but i can't help it. I'm really highly sensitive. I need this pain to be over. I'm too sensitive for this world. It helps knowing others deal with that too but reading how they deal with it looks unreal, nothing helps, they get over it for half an hour, i can spend days at critical condition without help. And help really makes a difference, last time talking to my psychiatrist and a crisis line helped but this time there's no available crisis line and my psychiatrist already saw me

[Operalady in reply to Against_the_current]

how about calling suicide prevention. You do not have to be suicidal to call! Leave a message with your psychiatrist ! I hear you!

[Against_the_current in reply to Operalady]

The suicide hotline isn't responding

[Operalady in reply to Against_the_current]

can you go to the emergency room? Are you suicidal? Go to the emergency room. Be sure to call you psychiatrist telling him or her what’s going on!!!!

[Against_the_current in reply to Operalady]

My psychiatrist would just say i can't get a new family. I visited soon and i just got more Clonasepam but i guess ive become resistant to it

[Stippler]

I am sorry you have to go through this. Please above all, try to go easy on yourself. I am holding you in healing light. Sending prayers for your peace and joy. 🙏🙏🙏

[Against_the_current in reply to Stippler]

Thank you, i need them 🙏

[Operalady in reply to Against_the_current]

am praying for you too! I understand how you feel I am a highly sensitive person too! Dear father God please touch this woman heart and soul and give her peace and understanding. She is a child of God , your child please give peace! Amen. I understand! Call your Psychiatrist and leave a detailed message!!

[Operalady]

how are you doing? Please let us know!!!”

[Against_the_current in reply to Operalady]

Thank you for asking. It's 5am and i can't fall asleep. My leg starts to bounce and my stomach feels weird and i can't breathe and feel feverish. I can't stop thinking about mom. Idk how im supposed to make it through the day

[Operalady]

let us know how you are doing!!

[SoporRose]

It's OK to show how panicked you are. You are in the sanitarium to get help. Even if one health care provider responds badly, you can insist on the truth and reality of your experience. Break down if you need to. Let the doctors see how much you are suffering. Isn't that why you. are there?

It takes courage to let people know how badly you are hurting and sometimes it takes a lto fo perseverance to get them to pay attention. Think of it this way: if you had a broken leg and the doctor told you to walk it off, what would you do? Crawl into a corner or try to stand and let the doctor see that you truly cannot stand?

It may be that working through your problems will seem harder than avoiding them. But you can do it! I'm not judging you; I'm telling you that you are stronger than you think you are. You got through university and now is the time to start the first steps to healing.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Yeah. Just they didn't really care and even blamed my poisoning on anxiety. Best they did after a lot of panicing from me was to give me a diasepam

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

So what kind of sanitarium was this that they couldn’t help you?

[Operalady]

Oh no judgement! I was there myself! Yes very important to talk and say your truth or how can they help you! Yes writ it to them if you have too. Your there to help yourself!!

[gerrerd]

Try hypnosis, it worked for me When I got a panic attack, years ago. Potentials unlimited, online. Get a download. Relax one will help you to control the panic.

[Jeff1943]

You're not there to make new friends of your own age. Get to know Grandma, her lifetime of experiences could be invaluable.

[Yuuupsongbook002]

I think the same that adults now are too young to be dealing with anxiety. Sorry to hear that. My youngest brother makes me feel anxiety.