No one to rely on?: After a few months... - Anxiety and Depre...

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No one to rely on?

Orange-y profile image
4 Replies

After a few months of therapy, I’ve learned that I’ve spent my entire life doing things to please others, so my current friends and family are used to this sort of imbalance— they can rely on me, but I can rarely rely on them. Now that I know this, it is exhausting and difficult having to explain new boundaries to people who have been in my life for a while.

I want to make new friends and a new support system. How do I do that when I’ve given up a lot of hope that someone will actually care about me? Any tips?

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Orange-y profile image
Orange-y
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4 Replies

you will never know what other opportunities for better relationships are out there until you put yourself out there. I am happy to hear you are establishing boundaries with family members and friends now. If they are good for you, they will respect the boundaries and continue to be in your life. If they disrespect your boundaries over and over, it is time to consider whether it is worth your energy to keep them in your life. Boundaries are key to protecting your mental well being, and attracting the right people to your life. Be proud of yourself for starting this journey.

Sounds like you are beginning to act on self-love which is all important. It is ok to receive as well as give and you are deserving. be patient with this new journey. You have to take chances on new relationships but it is a gradual process. Perhaps you can put yourself in situations with people of similar interests.

LoveforAll41 profile image
LoveforAll41

Like thankful said, finding people with similar interests is great. Is there an activity group you can start participating in? A hiking group? Sports league? Therapy support group? Church group? Volunteer organization?

I wish you the best of luck and determination to find healthy relationships!

Orange-y profile image
Orange-y in reply to LoveforAll41

Thank you for your advice! Yes, I started taking dance classes hoping to make some friends there. I’m just so socially awkward and have a lot of social anxiety and it just takes a lot out of me to initiate friendships. And when it doesn’t pan out I just feel like it’s not worth the effort and takes a while for me to build up the courage to try again.

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