..anyone else??
I’ve dealt with it (and anxiety with panic disorder) off and on for almost 20 years. I did medication for years but I am currently not taking anything.
lately (the past 2 years) the anxiety I experience has been centrally focused on my heart. I’ve had many EKGs, sonogram tests, etc etc. Every time the tests come back normal. I have a sinus arrhythmia that I have been told is completely harmless and very common. I have heart palpitations daily, again, I’ve been told my heart is fine and nothing is actually wrong. I’ve had times when I’ve had so many I had to lay down and do a meditation to make them calm down. 95% of the time though they go away on their own and do nothing more than completely freak me out.
The heart palpitations are scary, they are strong, sometimes they feel ‘warm’, feel like they take my breath, etc. I can have them when I’m having anxiety or completely relaxed having a good time.
At this point I’m scared to do anything for fear of having palpitations and them not stopping, or having to seek medical care - none of which has ever happened. They are controlling my life. It is completely shocking to me that I go to work each day. Shocking because I live in this state of chronic nervousness. When someone comes in to talk to me or I run into someone or I have to lead a meeting I always think it could be fatal because it might trigger something awful. It’s to the point where I don’t do simple things that I very badly want to do (visit family, get my nails done, go visit my best friend) for fear of having them. The choke hold this fear has on me has to stop.
I’m 36, I’m healthy, I have no apparent reason to have anxiety much less this cardiophobia. Anything you name, I’ve probably tried it and tried it well (extensive CBT, medication, prayer-the most helpful!, meditation, exercising, etc.)
Does anyone have any tips or tricks? Or does any understand? It would be so nice to connect. I feel like I’m drowning.
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my sob story 🖤