Social Anxiety Stress

[Bekindtoyourmind]

I had a family dinner last night where I was reminded of how painfully shy I am around certain people (mostly alpha males) and how that feels into my social anxiety. Whenever I am in a group situation I feel as if people just aren’t interested in me and then when the conversation turns to me I’m lost for words. I’ve tried cbt techniques, prepared conversation starters, have been through talking therapy, currently doing meditation, even tried hypnosis. I feel like it’s all good when I’m not in that situation but as soon as it happens I feel inferior and cannot function in that setting. I’m losing faith that I’d ever be able to recover from this. Help! 😔

[Rosepetal60]

You could try practicing having some ready answers in your mind ready for when someone speaks to you. I’ve been doing this for some years for any situation. I do find though, some people who ask the question, aren’t really interesting in hearing ones answers and quickly change the subject to themselves. I hate it when someone springs a question on me and expect an answer straight away but then interups before I finished the sentence. My mother was bad at that. In my experience, Being prepared does help.

[rubyrhythm in reply to Rosepetal60]

As a planner, I really appreciate this answer. Having a few responses ready has been helpful to me before. I also know that my brain is busy taking in lots of information about what's happening around me - not just the words that someone just spoke to me. So my reaction time is poor because there's a lot my brain is trying to process in that moment (including feeling anxious). But having a few stock answers - or questions - ready takes the pressure off.

[Rosepetal60 in reply to rubyrhythm]

Yes, I understand what you are saying here about the brain being on “alert” so to speak at the same time. As my pain always seems to be in the background. I do sometimes tell my brain” that’s enough of this subject , we are not going to discuss / talk about it now “ I’m getting a bit crafty with it these days.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I was a community reporter for a couple of small city newspapers. I have social anxiety but managed to pull it off. The trick is to ask people about themselves. They love it.

I save my private conversations for individual discussions with my close friends. And don’t say a lot about myself when I’m in groups. Shy? Maybe. But I don’t force myself to share what’s going on with me. It’s often not the time or the place.

Sure. If there’s one person I am having a back and forth interaction with, that’s a different scenario. But a crowd of people changes the dynamics.

Don’t beat yourself up.

[Artistfriend]

It gets easier when you have more positive experiences with people you trust and care about, it helps you prioritize what and who are important in your life. I could never compete with a group of alpha males, its not worth the effort to even try or care. All you can be is yourself and let the chips fall where they may