Anxiety and depression

[Tdmp]

My story is a few medical problems and grief and depression and anxiety I have CHF Stage 4 kidney disease diabetes fibro severe back issues history of blood clots I have lost the 3 most important people in my life in the last 3 years my dad in 2020 my mom in 2021 and my husband in 2022 people say it gets better I don't really think it gets better u just learn to live with it in my opinion

[Hidden]

Hi Tdmp. I'm very sorry for the loss of your loved ones and for the medical problems you have. Your courage in accepting and dealing with your problems is truly inspiring. I agree w/ you - sometimes things don't get better and we do just learn to live with it. Hoping you find some relief from your troubles, and welcome to this community.

[Tdmp in reply to Hidden]

Thank u I hope I can get some help talking to people on here most people I know are just getting tired of listening to me and seeing me crying they think I just need to get over it by now but they haven't lost the 3 most important people in there lives and I'm just 60 and it gets very lonely

[rubyrhythm]

I'm glad you posted. I hope that you can feel understood and supported in this group.

[Tdmp in reply to rubyrhythm]

I hope I can feel understood to most people I know don't really understand me anymore they think I should just deal with it

[Hidden]

That is very rough to deal with all of that.

[Tdmp in reply to Hidden]

Thank u it has been very hard to deal with by myself but people don't want to talk about it anymore it's like there dead and gone just forget that's something I will never do the only day I'm looking forward to is when I get to see them again that's all I want 😭

[Ryanlion]

What a profound sense of loss you are feeling. Three hugely important people in your life have died. I too have anxiety & depression, both my parents have died. The latest my mum in 2021 whom was my world. I have cried an ocean these last 18 months and i still feel devasted. I go to counselling now to help. Have you tried any talking therapy. I would die if i had no one to listen to me. I cant bear life without her, you must be feeling similar if not more. I am told you never get over it but you learn to live with it. Its as if the grief and lossed live along side us but hopefully not consume us one day. Have you seen the video on You tube called 'the grief journey'. It helped me, it is worth listening too. There is also a book by Megan Devine called ' Its ok if your not ok'. I have ordered it , it is supposed to be very good. Have you children or extended family around you. I would lean on them if you can. You have been dealt a very hard hand. With all your illness to cope with too, i feel your pain deeply. I find its pointless talking to people who have not grieved a deep loss because they cannot understand. You world changes forever, you lose confidence & trust in life. You are shaken to the core. Try to seek out people who have lost dear loved ones to talk to if you are struggling, they understand. I would give everything i have to have my mother back just to hug her for 5 minutes. I never got to say goodbye. If you have faith cling to it to get you through. We are on a journey we never wanted to take and i believe when i die i will join my loved ones once again.

[Tdmp in reply to Ryanlion]

Hi Ryanlion thank u for understanding I feel so much of the time people get tired of hearing about it cause everybody goes thru lose but I just can't seem to get to that point I was in the bed with my dad when he passed that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life he just wouldn't let go until I told him it was ok and then he just relaxed and just passed I wasn't with my mom she passed at night at a nursing home and I feel guilty about that her being by herself and I was with my husband I was holding his hand and our daughter was holding the other hand and he went peacefully just stopped breathing he had dementia he passed at 60 we had been married 42 years I so very sorry for your loss to I understand the crying sometimes u feel like there are no tears left u don't ever get over it just live with it I think I do have a therapist

[designguy]

Wow, you have been through a lot of loss, especially in the last three years and you would probably really benefit from working with a grief therapist if you aren't already. They can help you process your losses, grieve and heal especially since it sounds like you don't have any immediate support. Hopefully you will find it helpful and supportive for you here too.

[Tdmp in reply to designguy]

Thank u designguy I hope it helps me to tomorrow is my dad's death anniversary so I knows it's gonna be a really hard day for me I will probably cry all day I don't want to because it's not what he would want he always laughed and had fun all his life even up until the last few days

[designguy in reply to Tdmp]

You're welcome and my best to you for tomorrow, i've found it best to give myself permission to grieve as much and for as long as needed.