Do I really hate my degree or is it just mental health?

[fatiguei]

Hi all. For some background: anxiety and depression diagnosis and suspected Bipolar Type 2. Currently not medicated while getting access to mood stabilisers.

I used to be an active student (STEM major) with excellent grades, but the past few months I can see a steady decline in my performance and generally motivation and ability to retain and apply study material. Exams are very soon and I just hate everything, for the past few weeks I can barely find motivation to get into college every morning. I think my degree is a huge mistake and I’m too stupid for this. I wish I could just drop out but then it would mean I’d lose everything. I hate every major option I chose and I just don’t wanna be in this place anymore. Despite that, I remember liking my degree, enjoying the modules and building career plans during the last trimester.

Do you think it is depression related? I doubt it because when I am out of college and when I don’t do any schoolwork I regain the ability to enjoy different things. If it was a depressive episode, I probably wouldn’t be able to do this. But any time I remember college exists it makes me sick in my stomach. I just hate it. The only thing my major causes is anxiety spikes at the moment. So I’m completely lost and I just want to ask for opinion while I’m waiting for my meds prescription to be approved.

[mareschultz]

Don’t make any big decisions while you’re feeling this way. At least wait til you get your meds. If you are unhappy with everything now, you won’t be able to be objective about the course you have chosen. I would go talk to an advisor at your school about your degree/major. You can go over some options and find out if they have any recommendations. Since you were a good student in the past, I highly doubt you are “too stupid” for your degree. I suffer from anxiety and Bipolar 1. I know that when I am depressed, I don’t care about much of anything and I can’t even do the things I enjoy. Give it some time - I hope you will feel better after you get your meds.