My master’s degree took a toll on me

[Triedmybest]

I’ve been feeling very unmotivated. Very helpless, I have 0 strength to finish my master’s thesis. It’s almost done actually but I just don’t feel like doing it. My deadline is near but I have done much as I have been feeling very anxious. The moment I talked to my therapist, I felt good. The next hour, the anxiety is back again. I would get panic attack before my sleep. I tried breathing techniques but I don’t think it helped much. Maybe because I just started. I feel very stupid. Family and peer pressure are real. I feel very scared. I feel like a failure. I compare myself to my friends who have finished their master’s degree and started working. I feel like giving up. I used to self harm during bachelors degree. I am clean for almost few years. But now, I don’t want to SH, I just want to KMS. Only if suicide is not a sin in my religion, I would’ve done it.

[JasmineJaz]

Perhaps try comparing yourself to someone that hasn't finished and working their head off to catch up? Someone like me I mean it, we were a team of 3 and we finished most of the thesis in the last month... worked over midnight for days before deadline just to finish. You mentioned that your thesis is almost finished, that's great! You are already much better than a lot of people. If you see nobody like me in your peers, then congratulations, you are among the top of elites already. I actually went to a pretty good school for master's but I still have problem with time management...

The competition is fierce now in school, but there's a much wider world out there, one that doesn't have a fixed schedule and you got to choose your own time. Deadlines matter a lot in teamwork, but if it doesn't affect other people, I think you can just work on your own pace. Some people started working early in school, so what? You'll be working for decades after school, so what's the significance of getting a few months of headstart? Some of my friends even pushed off the first day of work and left themselves with a month or 2 free time to travel the country and recover from that stressful academic life.

If the time permits, perhaps spend an afternoon or a day, in another place or even another state? (ohh it rhymes) Just to escape the stressful campus environment and take some time to clear your mind. I do that when the work become too stressful. Not a whole day, just a long walk for like 1hr. Excusing yourself from that environment may help to change the mindset, and we work better without excessive stress

.

[Triedmybest in reply to JasmineJaz]

You know we’re used to comparing ourselves with more successful people instead of those who are on the same journey with us. Thank you so much for the reminder 🥰

And thanks to you I think 'so what?' will be my new mantra. Everyone has their own timeline and struggle along the way. So much for academic validation haha.

I tried going out but at times I’ll get tired to even do my work. I hope I can change or fix this

[JasmineJaz in reply to Triedmybest]

Dealing with stress is actually a skill that we have to learn by ourselves. I guess people deal with it in different ways, and we kinda need to try things out to figure out the best way for us. Meditation, sports, yoga, cooking, music, conversation with a friend, petting an animal, etc etc. And then there's the cliche: get enough sleep, eat healthy, stay active, a healthy mind stems from a healthy body.

I'm talking too much. You got this ☀️

[Triedmybest in reply to JasmineJaz]

True indeed. Will try yoga and sports starting today hopefully! Thank you very much for your advice.

We got this ❤️

[artisticcatowner]

That is really hard. I hope you can find the courage and motivation to finish up your degree. I did not finish mine

[Triedmybest]

Sorry to hear that. I’m already on the verge of giving up but we’ll see how it goes

[Adlon57]

I finished my Humanities History BA Degree after 13 years, unfortunately during that time both my parents died, my sisters were present when I got it, tears a plenty "best day of my life" I had a minor stroke two years later, even my tutor had tried to get me do a Masters, well at least I got my BA👍

[Triedmybest]

I am so so proud of you! Congratulations! Thank you for not giving up and giving me hope that I shouldn’t too 🥹