I am not doing well tonight. I befriended a co worker and unfortunately we shared illicit photos and texts. His wife saw them and sent it to my Bosses. I didn’t sleep with him but I did share those messages with him. I’ve been going through a lot of subtle bullying at work and I unfortunately started to talk to this man because he was my only friend. I became extremely depressed and afraid to talk about the situation and I feel like I acted out by allowing him to lure me into this mess. Now things are horrific and I am humiliated and feel like I want to die. I don’t even want this man. My anxiety was so high that I acted out in this way. Now I’m left with this horrific situation.
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Melissa2018
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Yes I’m aware of that. I’ve been cheated on in the worst way in my life but I’ve never tried to attack the woman in such a way because she wouldn’t be able to cheat without my partner. I especially wouldn’t do anything illegal like sending nude pics to someone’s boss. The other person doesn’t know me and has no obligation to me. I was in a bad place at the time.
That's a crap situation. This guy saw your vulnerability and abused it. Give yourself a break. You know what you did, whether or not you wanted him or not, it was the moment you were in. Forgive yourself, and move ahead. You are the only one who can change that situation. Don't wallow in it, that's what they want. Brush yourself off, get your big girl pants on and move forward. You need help ? Get God in your heart, his love will get you through anything as long as you trust in him . I guarantee you do that, your life will change drastically. Prayers to you.
I had a similar situation. And I questioned myself why I did what I did and that I ignored the possible consequences. Luckily, I had a therapist to talk to. She didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know, but it felt good to have someone validate that I was just being human. Humans make mistakes and hopefully, we learn from them. Nothing online or in print is private these days. You didn’t think anybody else would see what you shared. That’s a lesson learned. There’s not one person you know who hasn’t done something they regret. If it was me, I’d talk to my bosses before they asked to talk to me. To me, it shows responsibility.
Hello, thank you for you thoughtful response. I spoke to one of my bosses and she said that it’s not her business what people do outside of the job. It was an awful phone call. She also jokingly said she felt extremely closer to me now that she saw that information. I don’t know how many other people this woman sent this information to. This man is about 15 years older than me and his breath is horrific. I only kissed him. He was very rough and my mouth felt like it was burning after the kiss. My point in saying this is I can’t believe I continued to talk to him. I felt comfort in his friendship because I was having problems in my relationship and work was unbearable. I really feel like I need a psychiatrist. I had no intention of sleeping with him yet I pretended that I did to make him happy. I’ve been sexually assaulted on more than one occasion in my life. Once by a rapist when I was a 17 yr old girl and once by a boy I was dating. The rapist attempted to kill me but I survived. The boy I dated strangled me and forced me to perform oral sex on him. Then he told people that I was a whore. I was a virgin. I never got over these things and no one was held responsible. I think that it’s somehow messed up my mind allowing me to make poor choices when I’m having high anxiety. Now I’m being harassed by a bitter woman who’s disgusting husband I never even wanted. I think I have to file a police report.
Your story touched my heart. Our paths seem even more similar. I think you would benefit by seeing a professional. You’ve got a lot bottled up that might be better released. You need help to get your questions answered and a more serene life. I’m not sure to what extent you’re being harassed by the woman, but consulting the police sounds like a positive move.
You’re a very sincere person and I appreciate it. Yes I’m filling a police report because you can’t do shit like that to people because you’re mad. She needs to be held responsible for her criminal act. I will talk to someone also along with prayer of course. Thank you for not being judgmental.
sorry about your situation. You can find another job or go to therapy to get over this and move on. the pain will pass. until then, do whatever it takes to help yourself cope with the situation. forgive yourself for making a mistake. we all want to be love, seen, and heard. if your coworker gave you that at the moment then it was what you needed. unfortunately he's married so you need to find another man that doesn't belong to anyone. the underlying need is for love and attention that we all deserve.
the lesson here is what can i do to get what i need from outside of work and also outside of another couple's marriage so i don't end up with regret and possible dismissal from work.
we have many options so be careful not to choose the ones that might end up biting our ass.
You make a lot of sense. Trust me I’ve never messed with a married man in my life. I can not believe that this is what’s happened. I’ve been looking for another job for a while now and it’s been difficult but you’re right, I need another job. These people are biased and I’ve always been unhappy there. I should’ve left a long time ago. It’s really a huge disaster but I will keep on going somehow. I have no choice. Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Thank you so much for that input. I woke up to this shit. Before this ridiculous scandal I had been bullied by all of the office staff. I am a very nice person. I’ve seen them be called out before for this and I’ve seen others leave this company because of this. They all happen to be black. I know I have rights so I didn’t quit. I tried not to assume that these people are racist but I was clearly not promoted and isolated by staff members constantly. I’ve actually left the office in tears. When I tried telling my boss that I felt uncomfortable with the office staff once, all she said was that they are a rough crowd to get along with. I’ve discussed this with my family and they have told me that I should leave this place. I just couldn’t afford to leave because of money. I developed GAD because of tragedies in my life. I’ve worked to keep it under control but this job has made my GAD much worse. Now this situation has happened. I must say that talking to people like you on this site has been helpful because I do feel completely fucked up. Thank you for your input. It really helps with clarity on everything.
Thanks for asking. Well I tried to think positively but I feel an overwhelming sadness and depression about everything that’s taken place. My anxiety is very high and I’m having trouble breathing and heart palpitations. My blood pressure is very high as well. I’m trying to decide how to proceed with leaving this job and filling this police report. The only thing that’s helped me is talking on this site.
Yeah I thought about whether I should file a report. The woman showed my naked body to my bosses. She told me that she had tapped my phone and she was here to ruin my life. What she did was a felony. I told her that I wanted nothing to do with her husband and that I would contact the police. She still continued to harass me.
I’m honestly just trying to protect myself and also stand up for myself. You can’t behave like a child and do illegal things because you’re mad about being cheated on. My neighbor slept with my husband and had a secret child with him. I wanted her dead but I didn’t kill her. I understood that she didn’t rape my husband. I ended the relationship with him and I stayed away from her. I didn’t even sleep with this man and this woman feels that it’s ok to behave like a child by attacking me. It’s not. Trust me I’d love to just move on but some people might have to be stopped. She can also post these pics in other places if she feels like she’s not done ruining my life.
sorry to hear Melissa life can take you on the wrong destination the key removing new channels of regression is lifting the burdens from self limitations belief in positive light 💡a change of focus and reflection you are what you think removing fear pain and anxiety is building self wort good enough rekindled spirits perspective it all starts by working on the interior motives capturing emotive self empathy understanding and flipping it over with
Positive energy aligned with
a more purposeful insight and focus clarity mind setting and change hope you find clarity and self believe in you’re steps and remove any negative emotion
Thanks so much for these lovely ideas. I really appreciate it. It means the world to me to have this kind of positive input. It’s really just hard to do right now but I’m trying.
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