Anxiety affecting my job

[SeniorGeek1]

I have been an introvert all my life and my job did not need me to meet people that much.

But now I have been promoted to a new role that requires me to attend meetings and do speeches and presentations.

When doing these presentations, I became visibly anxious to the point of just murmuring and forgetting my points. This has led me to try and avoid the meetings at all costs and my superiors have started noting.

Although the pay is good, I miss the technical work and work now feels like punishment.

Would love a way to overcome this.

[Hidden]

I get it. In one of my previous careers I was promoted from field technician to manager and the meeting presentation part of it was terrifying at first. Which I think is absolutely normal and typical for the vast majority of people. I think the biggest help for me was preparation. I worked hard to have a my layout, materials and points all decided and planned out beforehand. Sometimes to the point of practicality creating a script - no improvisation, lol. Better speakers than me could pull that off and make it look easy, but I later learned that they worked really hard to get to that point. In fact, two of my higher level managers who consistently ran the best meetings (productive AND fun- a rare combination) were open about the fact that they attended Dale Carnegie speaking classes. I never had the chance to try it (my management career tanked for a number of OTHER reasons) but based on how they spoke publicly, the classes work.

In my case, it did get easier and I got better with time and practice. A friend also once told me to keep in mind that your audience is really just like you- so they are on your side and want to see you succeed.

[SeniorGeek1 in reply to Hidden]

I just Googled Dale Carnegei and I see alot of positive feed. I might give this a try.

Thanks for the tip.

[Hidden in reply to SeniorGeek1]

You’re welcome. Hope it helps!

One other thought…if you’re in the audience at a meeting sometime and the presenter impresses you, see if you can catch them afterwards and ask if they’re willing to share some tips on how they became comfortable speaking publicly. Chances are they’ll be appreciative of your positive feedback and happy to discuss what works for them. Most people struggle with public speaking and I’m not sure anybody has enough “natural” ability to stand up and do it well from the start…So it’s a safe bet that any accomplished/experienced public speaker was standing exactly in your shoes when they started and would therefore have enough empathy and understanding to help you out.

[STEM_Dad]

Welcome to the forum SeniorGeek1 There are treatments that might help you. Social anxiety can be challenging, but I've read that people can get over it with the help of therapy, and there are anxiety medications which would probably help.

Check the benefits available from your employer. They might have an EAP (Employee Assistance Plan), which could make referrals for therapy. You would want to work with a counselor, therapist or psychologist who is familiar with treating social anxiety. Your doctor or a psychiatrist could prescribe an anxiety medication.

I am also naturally introverted, and had probably moderate social anxiety in my youth. My first job after graduating high school was a retail sales job. I started off that job feeling like I didn't belong there (I now understand that I was experiencing "Imposter Syndrome"). I felt anxious every day that I was going to work, but I needed to earn money, so I made myself go.

• Then, one day about 5 months after I started that job that the most frequently asked question was "Where's the bathroom?" ... I could answer that question. (I was still learning about the products that I was selling, because there was a large variety of them. But I also realized that most customers were understanding if I didn't know the answers right away, and discovered the answers to their questions along with them.)

• I'm fortunate that I had this revelation at 19 years old, because it has often helped me when I started a new job or taken on a new responsibility.

In my late 20s, I got a job as a math tutor. I'm very good at math and I also like math. My customer service experience in retail sales helped me to translate those skills into my tutoring job. I didn't have to remember everything off the top of my head (it had been almost a decade since I'd taken a math class), because the students would bring their math book with them. So, I would look at the lesson the student was working on and the chapter leading up to it, do that I was sure to meet them at their level (and not blindside then with a concept that was too advanced).

-----

BE GENUINE

Don't try to "fake it until you make it". Be your genuine self. Lean on the qualities and experience that helped you get promoted into this new role.

.....

I don't know if it's part of my introverted nature or something else with my personality, but I exhibit humility in most of my interactions with people. I do feel like I'm fairly humble. I've found that many people respond to me in a positive, accepting kind of way because of my humility.

So, even though I'm a "subject matter expert" in various things (I'm currently an IT support technician), I don't put on a fake confidence persona, because I feel like people would see through that disguise. So, I interact as my genuine self... confident with my knowledge and the skills I've developed, but humble in my interactions, freely admitting when I'm lacking and need to get more information or reach out to others to assist.

In my youth, I was a Boy Scout, and was often elected into leadership roles. I think this helped me in my career, because I found quite early that I was more comfortable teaching an individual Scout or a small group (5 people or less), but when I was in a Troop leadership role, even though I felt a mild panic almost every time, I knew that I had peers on the leadership team and backing from the adult leaders. So, I didn't feel like I was facing the whole Troop of about 20-30 Scouts on my own.

During my working career, I've tried to avoid giving presentations. When I have had to do so, it was usually to present a tech training that I had developed or adapted myself. So, I knew the material well.

Since I presented those trainings to peers in tech support, when I was delivering the presentation, I found that if I focused on just one person in the audience at a time, I felt a lot less anxious. If I started thinking about how many people I was presenting to, I would feel the anxiety rise almost instantly. I had to adopt a strategy similar to a person who's afraid of heights reminding themselves "don't look down", except my reminder was more like "don't look at how many people are out there, just talk to one person at a time".

I'm glad that I don't regularly have to give presentations. If I did, it probably would take me several months to get used to the role. I've learned enough about myself over the years to know that I can do almost anything that's required of me, but I'm not comfortable doing everything. So, when I'm looking to advance, I look for roles that I feel like I will be more comfortable in. I would not feel comfortable leading a large organization, but I would feel comfortable leading a small team (even if that was a team on leaders for other teams).

I've liked watching TED Talk videos for years, and I've imagined myself giving a TED Talk. But if I actually had the chance, do I think that I would be able to do it? It depends on my frame of mind at the time, and how familiar I am with the material I'm presenting. I think that the better I know it, the better I'd do.

.....

If your comfort is with the technical work that you used to do, then I'm certain that you're a Subject-Matter Expert in certain areas of your work. Present from your comfort zone... Whether that's knowledge of certain processes, or information about products, or sharing ideas.

Presenting is more about conveying information than about being a confident leader. I've seen too many people in leadership positions who were comfortable standing in front of a group and confident in their presentation, but really had nothing meaningful to present because they didn't have a fraction of the information that the employees they were presenting to. In my opinion, what you have to say is more important than how you say it.

[SeniorGeek1 in reply to STEM_Dad]

Thanks alot for this.

I did actually present the previous day and tried concentarting on one person and it did actually help although just a little bit. I found even a cough from the audiance would shift my Concentration.

I guess if I do this several more times, it might help.

Again, this was quite helpfull.

[hypercat54]

I would just tell them that thanks for promoting me but I would prefer to my previous role as it suited me much better.

The only other option is to maybe seek therapy and see if you can at least learn to deal with your issues.

I must admit even though I am not an introvert, having to do presentations and speeches would scare the life out of me and there is no way I could or would be willing to do it.

If you approach it the right way with your employer then it should work out ok.

[SeniorGeek1 in reply to hypercat54]

The thing is the role comes with a bigger pay. And I could use the extra cash. I have actually started to seek online therapy.

[designguy]

You might consider hiring a coach that can help you with how to deal with the anxiety of presentations and how to overcome. There are personal coaches that do this and you can look to see if there is one in your area. Also if you are in the US there may be a Toastmasters chapter near you that can offer assistance.

[SeniorGeek1]

I searched for Toastmasters and I did find several but they are a bit far.

I will enroll on one and give it a try.