Freaking out over job search

[Lost_in_life]

I've been avoiding looking for a new job for the last 8 months. Although the procrastination was increasing my anxiety, I KNEW that actually looking for a job was going to make things worse for me emotionally. Today I actually started looking for jobs and I really didn't qualify for anything in my "field."

My situation is pretty bleak. I've worked at the same company, a small contract publishing firm, for over 26 years. The owner retired and shut the whole thing down last April. For most of my time there I worked as a "webmaster." I occasionally designed or redesigned sites. For the most part I maintained the sites and posted articles for the editors, as well as doing fairly simple IT work.

It might sound like I'm "highly qualified" for many jobs. The problem is I didn't push myself to learn a lot of new stuff. I just sort of "got by" learning things as I needed to... and often forgetting stuff because I wasn't using those skills on a frequent basis.

I KNOW that I'm suffering a little bit from "imposter syndrome" and low self-esteem... but I really DO think that I'm screwed. I'm thinking I'm going to have to find some "make do" job... the problem is I live with my elderly father and feel like I should stay at home to help him out, so I don't feel good about taking a job that would require me to leave him alone.

So, I'm freaking out. The minute I think about the situation I either start panicking or crying. I just don't know what to do.

[Orangeblossom85]

try "junior", try internships, try working in smaller companies, not necceserly informatics, try working for someone who needs it help. hotel / bakery / places and business that need sites updates, maybe they need business cards or improvement in any other thing connected to your field ?

[Lost_in_life in reply to Orangeblossom85]

Thanks.

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Lost_in_life]

:*

Don’t loose hope!! Don’t loose faith in you!!!! Try simple! Try anything !!! Then you’ll be able to change!

[Lost_in_life in reply to Orangeblossom85]

Thanks... but I can't help feeling like I'm doomed. I'm going to probably have to try to find some "make do" job that I'll hate and that will probably require me to leave my dad alone at home. I feel pretty worthless.

[kittenkisses91]

Take a look on YouTube, or visit the library for books or videos on web design or new software and technologies that you feel you are behind on. Brushing up on your skills will help you feel less like an imposter. You may be surprised by how much you already know and will feel more confident putting those skills on your resume and talking about them in interviews. Good luck on the job hunt!

[Lost_in_life in reply to kittenkisses91]

Thanks. There's some stuff online that I need to look into. I feel pretty stupid for not trying to improve my "skill set" over the last 7 months. I guess part of me just didn't want to pursue resuming my so-called "career." I think I was deluding myself about finding an "easier" work-at-home job, but I'm starting to conclude that all the articles that promote that sort of route are mostly just "click-bait" from disingenuous bloggers.

[Ann10]

I think working from home would be the best solution for you since you don't want to leave your father. If you network with others, you might find out about an opportunity that would work for you. bit.ly/Self___Value is important to develop. Keep looking for a position that interests you.

[Lost_in_life in reply to Ann10]

Thanks. It looks like the forum that URL links to is for parents seeking advice for teens troubled by depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. Did you mean to point to a different forum?

[Ann10 in reply to Lost_in_life]

If you go to the bottom, I thought you might find some of the articles helpful. These resources about how to bit.ly/use_your time might match your situation better. I agree that it is hard to know if the remote jobs are a scam or not.

[Lost_in_life in reply to Ann10]

Thanks. Sorry, I didn't scroll to the bottom and just saw all the stuff about helping teens with issues.

[guynfl2chat]

Use this time to brush up on your skills. Dont be afraid of the new technology ! Embrace it!

You will be surprised how much you can bring to a new employer. I sometimes talk myself out of looking for another job because I feel stuck, but I need to move on for my own sanity and it really just starts with self- esteem and confidence.

[Lost_in_life in reply to guynfl2chat]

Thanks. I don't have much self- esteem or confidence. I'm starting to feel like I'm not qualified for ANYTHING! I'm really freaking out. I'm about to run out of money AND I think I'm going to owe a bunch of taxes because I wound up not qualifying for a tax credit on my ACA health insurance. I'm going to have to ask my dad for help and I hate that. I'm going to feel guilty plus he's going to be mad at me. I'm feeling like I'd be better off dead -- though I'm not thinking of killing myself. I'm too chicken of what awaits me when I die... plus, I feel like I need to stay alive to look after my cat... my dad certainly doesn't need me around.

I just feel frozen... and I keep finding things to distract me from doing anything to find a job or improve my skills!

[Txaps]

Try a temp agency. They will do all the searching for you. Plus you can accept or reject the jobs.

[Lost_in_life in reply to Txaps]

Thanks. Do you know if temp agencies find work-at-home jobs? Do they charge you for looking for jobs?

[Txaps in reply to Lost_in_life]

They can find work-at-home jobs if they are available and no they do not charge you for finding the jobs.

[AuntBee]

You might try googling Virtual Vocations. It’s like Indeed except all the jobs are work-from-home jobs. They have job listings all around the country. Also, to brush up on your skills, there are low cost and free classes through Udemy.com. The skills and experience you have sound impressive. Lastly, think about volunteering those skills to non-profit organizations. Most would love free help maintaining their website. It would look good on your resume and could help build your confidence back up.

[Lost_in_life in reply to AuntBee]

Thanks. I didn't know about Virtual Vocations. I also didn't know Udemy.com offered free stuff. I actually have a bunch of Pinterest "pins" about free tutorials in my field. I just need to knuckle down and do them... as well as stop freaking out. Volunteering is a good idea too.