How to deal with a friend's betrayal? - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

55,510 members55,752 posts

How to deal with a friend's betrayal?

ManUtd7
ManUtd7

I recently had a close work friend betray me. We were close both in and outside of work but kept personal issues away from the workplace. My friend was always getting into trouble at work for slacking off and taking too many breaks. I warned her she was being monitored but she didn't seem to care. When management confronted her about her work and absences she put the blame on me saying I was distracting her both in and out of work. My contact was minimal with just the basic "how are you, how was your weekend, etc." but after she was confronted by our mgr, she sent me a threatening message to no longer contact unless work related. I was forced to notify my mgr since I now felt my job was in jeopardy. She was fired the next day (not my intention) for her own diciplinary reasons and cut off contact with me without explanation. So now I am hurt when I only showed friendship and support to her and have had no chance to talk about it with her. I know I should just move on but it took a long time to open and become friends with anyone for several years and I feel this has set me back even more than before. Any advice on how to deal with this?

8 Replies

it's always a hard lesson in life to learn....sorry that happened to you.

ManUtd7
ManUtd7 in reply to fauxartist

Thanks

Hidden
Hidden

So sorry this happened to you. It hurts, but remember this isn't about you or anything you have done, after all; you were kind to her in many ways. I know the feeling of betrayal when I suffered a horrible bout with depression last winter and my entire family betrayed me and left me to fight this battle all alone, but I 'prayed about it and forgave them. It's the only resolve when people hurt us because we can't change what people do or the way they think. Pray, forgive, and give it all to God and He will handle the rest. Hugs for you.

ManUtd7
ManUtd7 in reply to Hidden

Thanks. I'm trying to forgive and move on but it is difficult. Oddly, our friendship connection was religious based so praying is hard for me right now as I'm now questioning my Faith. I just can't believe another person of highly religious beliefs would treat a friend that way. Peace & Love

You have nothing to reproach yourself for. One day you may be friends again but not now, it will take a long while to blow over. 30 years ago my head of department fired me and a colleague to cover up his own incompetance. I was pretty p****d off and told him so. But I did get a year's money and went on to a better job.

Years later I met the guy again. My anger was all spent, I just remembered the good times. Now we meet for lunch twice a year.

You are allowed to forgive. It is a noble thing to forgive. Eventually.

ManUtd7
ManUtd7 in reply to Jeff1943

Thanks for the advice. Trying to forgive but doubt we'll ever be friends in any form again.

Hidden
Hidden

I am so sorry your friend betrayed you. It sounds like you were a true friend but some people are so focused on themselves they don't listen to other's advice. You did your best and I don't see that you have anything to regret. Unless this person admits they were wrong I wouldn't recommend pursuing a relationship with them. Friendship requires open communication both ways. Please don't let what she did hinder your faith. People fail everyday - our faith can't be based on their behavior.

ManUtd7
ManUtd7 in reply to Hidden

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I should not let her change my beliefs but I think that will just take some time since she did heavily influence me to open up to my Faith again. I appreciate your support.

You may also like...