Social Anxiety and career

[Blueberryandcupcake]

Considering one's social anxiety, what career opportunities may be best suited for an individual with such a condition?

[Blueberryandcupcake]

Thank you very much for the advice. I will begin with small steps and gradually progress towards my goal. Although it may be a challenging journey, I am determined to make the most of it while I am here 💜

[michd123]

Hi, I read your two posts and I can relate w the anxiety, adhd. I also have depression. I am also looking for a new direction. I essentially had to resign from my job of 20 years doing medical coding because there were a lot of changes and I couldn't keep up w productivity. I also take care of my bedbound mom and my mental health was taking a nose dive. Congrats on become a doctor! That is not an easy feat.

[Blueberryandcupcake in reply to michd123]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my posts and sharing your own experiences with me.

I'm sorry to hear you had to go thru all that. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with taking care of your mom, and I can only imagine how challenging that must be on top of everything else. I truly admire your strength and resilience 💜

[Blueberryandcupcake]

That's something I was thinking about doing myself. But the interviewing part gives me anxiety

[Blueberryandcupcake]

That's amazing! I'm happy you pushed through it and made it happen for yourself

[designguy]

As someone who dealt with social anxiety for years before realizing what was really going on for me, I suggest you spend some time and energy getting treatment for it if you are not already. We develop social anxiety as a coping defense but as some point it no longer serves us and works against us. It distorts our perception of ourselves and how others perceive us and makes us think people are constantly judging us when in reality most people are caught up in their own lives and not paying attention to us. It also can be caused or perpetuated by low-self-worth and shame which was true in my case. I suggest finding a therapist who specifically treats social anxiety, they may use exposure and group therapy as part of the therapy so you can learn new constructive ways of thinking and behavior. You may find medication can help at least temporarily. There wasn't a therapist near me so I used a online program from thesocialanxietyinstitute.org although I would have preferred inperson therapy. The other thing is to address your low-self-worth to improve it and be able to validate yourself. There is a lot of good info on youtube about it, I really like the youtube videos of Julia Kristina and Bernadette Logue as well as Dr. Bernadette Sewell. Healing your social anxiety will free you to choose the career and life you desire.

[Blueberryandcupcake in reply to designguy]

That was so helpful!!! THANKYOU! THANKYOU! THANKYOU! for practical advice. I'm reaching out to different people and platforms to find a healthy way to cope with my anxiety and not waste my life. I have a therapist but she has not specialized in anxiety disorder. I'll look for in person therapy near me and also watch the videos as you suggested.

[designguy in reply to Blueberryandcupcake]

You're very welcome, I hope it helps you. I had the same issue with a few therapists who really didn't know much about anxiety and especially about social anxiety that is why if you can find one that specializes in treating it you will make better progress.

[Flyboy76 in reply to designguy]

Hi, As someone that has struggled with social anxiety most of my life, I was wondering how successful the online therapy program from the social anxiety institute was for you? I am always somewhat skeptical of online treatments, having spent thousands of dollars over the years unsuccessfully both in person and online. Like you I would prefer in person group therapy, but nothing is available close to me.

[designguy in reply to Flyboy76]

I understand, I went through a number of therapists before realizing myself that I was really dealing with social anxiety and also in my case, c-ptsd from growing up in an emotionally repressive household and being bullied in school.

I did the social anxiety institute program a number of years ago and found it helpful because I didn't know anything about social anxiety. I did have issues with their stopping "ANTS" (automatic negative thoughts) approach because all it did for me was help perpetuate them. I also think one of the major issues with those of us with social anxiety is trying to out-think it instead of learning to tolerate the intense feelings of the anxiety, know what they are and just let them happen and I didn't really get that from the program. There may be other better programs available now and I know there is a lot of good info for free on youtube so I would check that out first. I also found that I had been taught totally wrong about how to constructively deal with anxiety itself and that the more we try to out-think or fight it the more it persists and that the solution is to surrender, desensitize ourselves to the body sensations and to know the anxious thoughts aren't true and to never believe them. This is true regardless of the type of anxiety including social anxiety. I found the DARE Anxiety book and youtube videos informative, simple and helpful for doing this.

What has helped in my healing was learning about social anxiety, that it is actually a survival defensive coping strategy that we developed for whatever reason and now as adults it is no longer serving us. It's also a perception problem that we have about how others perceive us and how we perceive them, we think people are constantly judging us when in reality they are too caught up in themselves and not paying attention to us at all. One of my big breakthroughs happened a number of year ago when I went into work one morning and realized that people were actually glad to see me and enjoyed my company and I had always thought they didn't. So educating yourself about social anxiety is really helpful and also determining why and how you developed it can help too.

The other thing that is common with us with social anxiety is that we usually have low-self-worth and an inability to validate ourselves and we may also be perfectionists. These can feed or cause social anxiety so it's good to learn about them and address those parts of you and heal them.

I also found medication helpful, in my case it was klonopin, it helped reduce the anxiety symptoms while I was doing exposure therapy and I was able to taper off of it without issues. Also, learning and practicing simple mindfulness mediation was very helpful to be able to detach from my thoughts and realize that I am not my thoughts and they can flow in and out and I don't have to believe them. This helped me in dealing with the ANTS.

What really helped me was educating myself about social anxiety and the DARE approach and going out and doing exposure therapy whenever I could. I would go to the homedepot store and wander around and be with the intense sensations, I would even invite them to be more intense. I would go up to the clerks and ask questions, etc... I even started wearing old clothes and even doing goofy things and asking dumb questions all to push myself out of my comfort zone. I would say hello and play with the dogs people had with them. It takes persistence and repetition but it really helped. To me the exposure therapy and learning to be ok with the intense feelings of social anxiety and not believe the anxious thoughts are key to healing so if you do an online program I think it's essential to also do the exposure work.

Hope this helps and feel free to ask me any other questions.

[Flyboy76 in reply to designguy]

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insight of social anxiety. I can relate to most everything you described including the negative thoughts, being judged by other people, low self esteem, perfection etc. I love the idea of going to Home Depot asking dumb questions and acting goofy to get out of your comfort zone to expose yourself to anxiety. That takes a tremendous amount of courage for someone with social anxiety, but well worth it. Thanks again

[designguy in reply to Flyboy76]

You're welcome, once you understand what is really going on with your social anxiety and start doing exposure therapy, it does get easier as your confidence builds. There is a term I like, "lean into it" and I remind myself of that when i'm feeling uncomfortable and purposely lean into that uncomfortable feeling and just go for it. Another valuable thing is to celebrate your wins no matter how small they are.

[Flyboy76 in reply to designguy]

Good advice for sure, Im going to try and muster the courage to do some exposure techniques.

[designguy in reply to Flyboy76]

Great, you can do it!

[Blueberryandcupcake in reply to designguy]

The fact that everything you shared is a personal experience of mine, while the techniques you provided are solutions I've read about in various anxiety-related books. I've experimented with a few of these techniques, and I can attest to their effectiveness. I truly appreciate you sharing your extensive knowledge on this topic, and I want you to know that your contributions are making a significant impact on those who are struggling. Thank you for all that you do.

[designguy in reply to Blueberryandcupcake]

Thank you much, what a nice compliment.

[designguy]

thanks, i'll keep an eye out for them, I can always use a giggle!

[designguy]

I always love a good laugh - good night to you too.

[Blueberryandcupcake]

Thanks for sharing! I was actually considering getting into the therapy myself but I don't know how to approach that. All the schools are online but they charge a pretty penny for each semester. I'm looking into it and hopefully will find some direction soon