Navigating Anxiety and the Search for Purpose

[Blueberryandcupcake]

Throughout my life, I have grappled with both anxiety and a highly sensitive personality trait. It has been a challenge to share my experiences and connect with others, particularly where I grew up. I worked hard despite of my mental struggle and became a doctor.

Despite this achievement, I now find myself at a crossroads. While I pursued medicine because I felt it was expected of me, it does not align with my authentic self. My anxiety played a significant role in my decision-making, leaving me feeling disconnected from my passions and struggling to form social connections. As a result, I find myself searching for purpose and fulfillment, often feeling unproductive and useless.

At this stage in my life, I am uncertain of what direction to take to rediscover meaning and joy. It feels like I am starting from scratch in rebuilding a life that aligns with my true identity and provides me with a sense of purpose.

I am uncertain whether there exists an individual who has undergone an experience similar to mine and has emerged on the other side, seeing a ray of hope. I yearn to encounter someone who can instill a sense of optimism in me, assuring me that everything will eventually turn out well, but alas, I have yet to cross paths with such an individual.

It is possible that my anxiety impedes my ability to forge connections with others. I harbor a fear of being emotionally wounded, preventing me from engaging with others fully. Nonetheless, I remain hopeful that I may someday come across an individual who has faced analogous circumstances to mine and discovered a viable solution.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could identify. I never really had a chance (or the luxury) of doing what I wanted to do. I got pregnant back in the ‘60 s and became a young mother. I then became a single parent and had to take whatever job I could do. I became a medical administrative assistant and worked in that field off and on for 16 years of my 40 year working career.

The other job I had was in journalism. I became a reporter. A photographer and editor. That suited me better and I worked in that field, on and off, during the rest of my working life.

I struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, but pushed through anyway, as I wanted to eat and take care of my daughter.

I can, however, assure you there is hope. There is always hope for a better future. Just hang in there and put one foot in front of the other. Your path will become clear.

[Blueberryandcupcake in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you Lily for sharing that! It does make me feel better to know it worked out fine for you later in life. My struggle is finding enough courage to ask for help from people who can show me the path but I'm to scared of being judged for not using my doctorate degree and choosing a different path. Also, I'm not having any luck in finding good people who are accomplished in life and have humility to help others behind them.

But I'm determined to make it work and be able to overcome my social anxiety one day

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Blueberryandcupcake]

I am very selective to who I give “judging licenses” to. Not everyone gets a vote or a say in my actions. It’s none of their business. It’s my life and my consequences.

I do have a couple of people who I let judge me. But that’s it. That’s not to say I’m not overly sensitive to the thought that someone may criticize me. I am. But that’s a defect I work on all the time.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

[Blueberryandcupcake in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

My life, my rules, and my consequences – I couldn't agree more!

I aspire to one day have the confidence to embrace this mindset for myself.

[Hidden]

If you don't know your passions then I would suggest exploring more to see first what you don't like. Making mistakes is part of life and it's what we learn from not from the things that came easy to us. I would use the fact of medicine as an indicator of how strong you really are.

[Blueberryandcupcake in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for saying that! I forget to acknowledge my accomplishments just because I didn't pursue my career in that. I don't know why I'm so hard on myself all the time

[Hidden in reply to Blueberryandcupcake]

I'm the same, guilty of being too hard on myself.