Middle aged, divorced with 2 children, 1 special needs and dealing with depression and anxiety.

[RevelationNo9]

I'm 49, divorced, and have 2 children 9 and 7. My 7 year old is autistic. I've dealt with anxiety, panic and depression since my mid 20s. To say the divorce, covid and medical issues elevated those problems seems like an understatement.

My marriage of 12 years officially ended November 2022. The issues lingered long after finalizing , which did not help. Living, parenting and custody arrangements increased daily stress greatly and made life seem even more uncertain and up in the air than ever. Leading up to the end of the marriage, my ex-wife had a major bout of depression and threatened suicide, which added to the stress greatly with 2 small children in the house.

Now I'm living with my exacerbated sense of depression and despair along with bouts of anxiety and irritability. It's a miracle I haven't driven away all the people I love. I'm being more mindful of my triggers and not allowing myself to get sucked back into the cycle of living in anxiety and constantly feeling sad and helpless, but I realize I can't do it alone. I need help and advice of others who have lived the nightmare i currently face.

[gajh]

Welcome. This is a great place to get support for anxiety and depression. I hope you find it as helpful as I have.

[Kat63]

You are not alone.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is take one day at a time. If that seems overwhelming, you can do one hour at a time, ten minutes, even one minute.

Try to believe that you won’t feel like this forever.

[Midori]

I know this one, but for me it was widowhood and not divorce. Two children, daughter older, who immediately tried to shunt my son who had ADHD out of the picture.

Cheers, Midori

[punkster]

Bless your heart. It is SO common for parents of autistic children to divorce. Autism puts a huge amount of stress on a marriage. If your autistic child lives with you, maybe you could find an in-person support group to attend for support in addition to HU.

[Midori in reply to punkster]

He's 34 now, and my official carer. I'm 75, but I'm not going down easily! I'm fighting every inch of the way! He has grown up really well, and I'm proud of him.

Cheers, Midori

[designguy]

You don't mention if you are working with a therapist but if not, it sounds like you would benefit greatly from it. If you can't afford one you might check out your local NAMI Chapter to see what resources they have available. You might also see if there are any support groups or meet up groups in your area for adults/parents of autistic children.

[Starrlight]

how are you doing today?