Panick attacks

[Bciaap]

Hello! Sorry for this long post. I am usually an anxious and stressed person, always have been. My anxiety started to become a problem 2 years ago short after a car accident (it wasn't a serious one, I just had my arm broken). I started thinking that something bad is going to happened (usually crazy things, like strangers wanting to hurt me out of nowhere). A few months ago this thought went away. I guess I had other things to stress about (I finished medical school in summer and had my final exam in November). Anyway my life was looking the way I wanted to. Nothing to feel bad about.

In January I started working in the hospital and in the second week I had a very intense panic attack (I didn't see any bad cases, and I wasn't feeling stresed). It happed out of nowhere as I was waiting for a friend in a coffee shop. I felt chest pain, was very agitated, shaking. Since then I cannot stop thinking about having an heart attack. Medically I know it's not possible, but I cannot stop thinking about it (I am 25 years old, I have a normal weight and the only risk factor is smoking). Since than I started to smoke less, drink less coffee, eat healthier, sleep more, but I still don't feel good. I had a few other attacks since then (much easier to manage) and I feel strange (dizzy, my stomach hurts, feel like throwing up sometimes). Another strange thing that I feel is that sometimes I have the impression that I am living in a dream, that everything I see and I hear is faded and foggy.

I don't know why I feel this things all of a sudden. I have nothing to be unhappy about. I have support from family and friends. I live with my boyfriend and my car and we have a happy relationship. I realise that I have a psychological problem but I still cannot stop thinking that I am having an heart attack and I am gonna die. I also feel so ashamed that I generally have a good live and waisting it thinking of all the bad things that have a small probability to happen and there are people out there with so many problems that never complain. I also feel bad that after so many years of working hard to be where I am with my career, I cannot function at my full potential.

Is anyoane out there that have experienced same feelings (mentally and physically)? It wold really help me to know that I am not alone. And also do you have any suggestions about what should I do to make things a little better?

P.S. I am going to therapy in two weeks.

[012703060610]

Totally freestyle here...but I think things can add up and then explode. The car accident may not have been too bad, but it was another thing that is not easy to cope with. I have never been afraid of germs really. I'm not looking to get sick....but after having COVID and now having irreversible effects...I'm constantly anxious. I wipe my sinks down all day. Everywhere my kids are I'm behind them it seems. To me, I was born with anxiety. Now, I am in a place where I can no longer cope or deal. I used to be really good at pushing it down far and moving on....now, I just can't! Hang in there.

[Bciaap in reply to 012703060610]

Unfortunately the pandemic changed a lot in us. I know a lot of people that are more careful with clining after covid (not all of them at this intensity) I hope you have the support and understanding from your loved ones and that you will find a way to feel better. Maybe therapy will help. You are not alone. Thanks for your respons. I hope to hear you are better soon.

Also, you said you have anxiety since you know yourselves (I am the same, always have been scared and stressed, but could managed it). Is anything that helps you calm down now?

[012703060610 in reply to Bciaap]

Unfortunately it is mostly medications. I have overall physical health problems so I can't exercise to relieve stress like I used to. Some breathing exercises have helped too. However, I really need to have privacy to hone into myself and my feelings. I can't get the breathing right if I need to be out of the house or getting the kids off. I see the post below on PTSD and that is what I am under counseling for at the moment. It has changed therapy for me in the biggest way. My therapists shuts down my ridiculous circular thoughts. I needed someone very direct to be effective for me.

[Rachmaninov2]

Just a thought (I’m no expert), it sounds as if it could be PTSD. I hope the therapy is helpful, not too long to wait now.

[Bciaap in reply to Rachmaninov2]

I never thought about this being PTSD because it's almost 2 years since then. But more and more people are telling me this could be related. It's probably more factors combined. Thank you a lot for your response! My you have peace and light!

[Rachmaninov2 in reply to Bciaap]

It was when I read that it began shortly after a car accident that PTSD came to mind.

Thank you for your good wishes, the same to you. 🌼

[Nothing_but_books]

HU has a PTSD forum where you can post if you like.

You could try printing your post from today and taking it to therapy with you.

[Bciaap in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Of course I will and I will give more details to my therapist. I will also try the ptsd group. Thank you for this suggestions. Hope you have a nice and peaceful day!

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Bciaap]

You're welcome.

[EndUser13]

I have a lot of panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere. I think that occasionally a lot of small stressors build up to create a sort of emotional overflow in the form of a panic attack. Maybe therapy will help you pick out what's bothering you that you'd get to the point of having a panic attack. For what its worth, your symptoms sound typical.

[Bciaap in reply to EndUser13]

I kind of know where the panic attacks come from. I know there are more factors combined and I managed to identify them. What I expect from therapy is exercises and tips of how to avoid these feelings and thoughts. I really want to make things better and enjoy live. Thank you very much for your help. Peace and love to you!

[EndUser13 in reply to Bciaap]

I wish you the best of luck with that!

[Chinaadventure]

I know where you are coming from. I had a toxic boss over 10 years ago and that's what started to trigger my panic and anxiety. I would have the same feelings and pending doom, feeling as I was going to die. I can tell you that you need to accept it, let the feelings happen. I have been in therapy on and off meds, done TMS therapy too. Unfortunately, I have recently had a set back, lost my job during covid and I have been struggling to find permanent employment. As someone else mentioned, covid changed the landscape and we, those that already had panic and anxiety issues are victims of pandemic in so many ways. Lean on your family and friends that are supportive, not everyone gets mental health. Keep those that get it in your inner circle! Create a toolbox of things, coping skills that help. You tube is a great resource...a book that I go back to very often is, Hardcore Self Help, Fuck Anxiety, by Dr. Robert Duff. He breaks it down to the basics and makes you feel that you are not alone and can do this! Here is the link from Amazon: audible.com/pd/Hardcore-Sel...

Hope this helps, we are here to support and share! Keep us posted on your journey. Stay strong and take one day at a time. 💪🙏❤️

[Bciaap in reply to Chinaadventure]

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I am sorry for your situation, I hope it will not be a long term one. Try to have fate in yourself, things will eventually work up for you! They always do! Wish you best of luck and peace!

[PartsWork]

Your situation sounds very similar to what I have experienced three years ago. At that time, life was devastating because of he constant thought of being scared of another panic attack will occur. In reality, things were doing well while my career was advancing and life with family was happy, except for the pandemic. Turns out the pandemic triggered something in me. After three years of therapy I learned that it was early childhood trauma, something that I never thought I had. My therapist helped me learn about myself through a combined approach of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR. I can say that I am in an ideal place now, though not perfect, but am able to live with (not manage) my anxiety and have a much clearer awareness of what triggers my anxiety.

Allow me to share from my perspective some parts of you post that stands out to me:

“Strangers wanting to hurt me from out of nowhere “

Could this be a belief that you might have acquired or similar experience occurred during childhood? Feeling insecure.

”In January I started working in the hospital”

Starting a new career means transition in life, and changes causes anxiety. Also, is this a career that you have been looking forward to? If so, finishing med school and starting an ideal job means that you achieved major goals in life, which in turn could also mean that there are fewer or no new goals in life because of the achievements, hence triggering an existential anxiety.

”sometimes I have the impression that I am living in a dream, that everything I see and I hear is faded and foggy.”

This might be the feeing of disassociation, which is very common in stressful situations or after being triggered due to PTSD or CPTSD.

[PartsWork in reply to PartsWork]

”I also feel so ashamed that I generally have a good live and waisting it”

This feeling of ashamed - where did you pick up the belief that maybe you should feel ashamed when life is good? Why might wasting life/time is something that should be ashamed of? It’s important to know where we picked up our core beliefs so that we can find out the source of anxiety comes from. Another point that might relate - do you think smoking is wasting life? Sorry in advance and no offense is intended, but as you probably know the negative effects of health caused by smoking, so does smoking make you think that you are wasting your life? I wanted to point this out to see if you feel that this related with your belief of wasting life is shameful or not, which might help identify the source of where this anxiety comes from. I used to smoke for 10+ years but slowly find that I don’t need it anymore and naturally stopped. It helped me breathe to endure/regulate the stressful situations in life back then.

”I also feel bad that after so many years of working hard to be where I am with my career, I cannot function at my full potential.”

This is a similar belief to the one above, so it might be worthy to explore where you learned about the feelings of shameful or feeling bad in these kind of situations. On a different note, I am sure that you will function at your full potential someday. Please don’t see the panics as a setback. Instead, it is a way that our body is communicating to us to tell us that there is something that we need to learn, so that we can achieve our full potential.

Finally, from your responses to others in this post, you are very encouraging despite being in a situation yourself. Could this mean that you have a giver/provider personality? Always attending to the needs of others could also be a source of anxiety, and this personality might have been developed in childhood where parents might not be present or reliable so the child have to take care of parents or siblings. At least this was my case as I learned that the absence of my parents forced me to learn to take care of myself and others at an early age.

Hope this helps! It takes time to heal. I hope that you could have the patience and also meet a good therapist