after a really bad weekend I’m in work suffering

[vanessi]

I had my therapy this morning, I cried as much as I hadn’t done it before on the session. Today is a sunny day after a bad winter and whether and I see everything in black, I’m very sad at work. I feel people can see I’m very distant as I didn’t use to.

My 7 year old relationship is completely broken and I don’t know what to do to feel better. I wish I could work from home but unfortunately I work in a school with lots of kids.

I feel I’m drowning inside and at any time I’m gonna be going to the toilet to cry. I feel nobody has loved me before (partner) I have always wanted to create a family and have normal life like everybody but it seems it’s impossible. I feel my partner never loved me and I was the only one who wanted all those things.

I don’t know how falsely smile in front of people so they don’t see. I want to hide in my bed. I’m struggling at the moment

[AFdale]

My thoughts are with you and hope your day gets better, sometimes a good cry helps. Hopefully you have people to reach out to get things off your chest, just browsing this form the last couple of days has been helpful as well.

[vanessi in reply to AFdale]

thanks for the reply. This is gonna be a long process for me. My long relationship is broken and I’m suffering every day. I only have my therapist to talk, my family lives on the other side of the world. I feel very vulnerable and depressed. I don’t know why I could never get what I have always wanted.

I’m tired of this life if it’s only suffering

[AFdale in reply to vanessi]

Sorry to hear that, try and take it day by day but I know that is easier said than done. See if there are any support groups in your area that are available so you can talk and meet with others if you so desire, there might even be online support groups you can join where you are originally from.

[vanessi in reply to AFdale]

I’m currently in therapy since last April. I haven’t check if there are face to face support groups, but that makes me a bit scared to open myself like that. Sometimes when I’m very sad I call to the Samaritans in my city. They are 24/7 and it’s a free call.

I also call my mom and my sister that are my biggest support. But for me there is something that is missing. It’s my ex partner. It’s a different type of love I need and now that he doesn’t want me anymore I feel like a I lost someone and I cannot replace that feeling 😔

[Darkhouse]

So sorry that you are suffering so much right now. The sun is shining again today here thankfully. It's been so dark for so long. I hope the rays reach deep into you today. A fake smile is still better than no smile at all....

[vanessi in reply to Darkhouse]

thank you for your response. I’m still struggling every day at work. At home too. I’m very sad. All this comes from my love life with my partner who decided to end with our long relationship and I’m very depressed. We still live in the same house but it’s very awkward.

Every day when I’m on my way to work and see people around me and i would like to be another person. I’m extremely sad

[Darkhouse in reply to vanessi]

Oh you poor thing. Living in the same house w your ex has to be quite hard. Is there a solution to this living situation coming soon?