Bad end to good weekend.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I loved going to paint nite. I worked on Saturday an earlier shift so I could go to the Southern Womens show today. After I worked though my legs decided they were done for a while. So I didn’t get to go to the show. I wanted to so bad though. I was really excited about it. Yet my body had other plans. I’m still young at heart. My body tells me I am very old. It’s a contraindication for wanting to get out and do things. When I do feel like trying in my mind my body won’t work and then vice versa. So now after being very depressed today about my legs getting worse I am tired and starting to really have a breakdown. I was playing a game on my phone and had to swipe it shut and almost throw my phone for no reason except my nerves spiking. Then I come to bed and I can hear my husband breathing and I want to rip my hair out! Or his haven’t decided. I feel like I’m spinning and can’t stop. It’s awful. I’m antsy, edgy and freaked out. Praying my Med kicks in soon so I don’t lose it completely. It’s bad. I’m freaking. Panic central. It just happened. I came back from being sad. Ate lunch with son. Nice dinner with husband he was nice. I was coming around getting happier playing a game and bam 💥 I lost it. It’s not as much anxious as edgy. Irritable. Wigging out. Come on Valium. This is awful. Sad, happy then all out losing it in one day. Roller coaster ride anyone? I’m on a never ending one. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[jkl5500]

I never took Valium, but I hear it's very effective. Maybe it's kicking in for you by now. I hope so. You had a rough day.

[CazO46]

I hope by the time you read this the meds will have kicked in and you will feel less anxious. I know the feeling of thinking you are going to go crazy. I truly wish you peace

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I’m better. I did sleep.

[b1b1b1]

I'm glad you did sleep. With regard to activities, I think the best thing is to pace yourself. Maybe you can plan the activities for a day you don't work. It is so positive though, that you are looking forward to the activities. You are an inspiration for many!.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to b1b1b1]

I was going to game night tonight. So exciting! Woke up to bad snow and my car and roads are covered. I’m batting a thousand. Darn. I only work one evening a week. I traded to go to something. Then my legs gave out after working a busy shift. I’m okay. Something just keeps happening darn it. Every time I plan something.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

When I gave my life to Christ I was tested. I went through many trials at that time. Yet knowing God would help me I got through. I feel like when I try to better my life something or things always happen. I schedule around my work but can switch a day if needed since I only work one. I’m pacing myself. It was just disappointing. I’m now praying this snow will be clear Friday for my bingo night. Tonight was game night at a girls house. I’m missing that now due to snow. So disappointing. I freak out fast but have accepted things now. My legs getting worse does scare me a lot. I’ve already been told I’ll end up in a wheel chair eventually. I am going to fight it as long as I possible can though. Sleep helped for sure. Most of my big freak outs are at night when I’m exhausted and my defenses are low.