A call messed all my progress.Scared of the future. 3am thoughts what will happen when sis gets 18. Scary thoughts)

[Against_the_current]

I was feeling kinda good, exam, studying, doing yoga, working on myself. Then grandma called. She said "dad's with your sister". It was late so i thought "damn, what if mom went crazy and sis escaped to his place". Then found out dad's home. And thought if dad's home this means mom's not. Where's mom?! What if she gets me a stepfather while im gone? (Please if you're going to say she will and she shouldn't stay alone and im a terrible daughter, just don't comment. Please. Just help someone else on here who needs it. Please). Then found out im just triggered and panicing and imagining fake scenarios and hurting myself. (I hope). But thought what will happen when sis turns 18 and she can leave? She's not obliged to stay like i wasn't. (Well, i stayed till 21 because of lockdown) . But what then? Being alone is scary. Finding someone is scary. Sis is getting 16. And i thought mom said she's gonna leave us and go to Grandma's when she was mad. And I got relieved for a second. Then i thought But the house?! Then i got a worse thought - Will grandma be alive till then? Then worse - ... What a d@mned rollercoaster.

[SoporRose]

I'm kind of confused. Won't it be a good thing if your sister leaves home and is no longer living with your mother? Won't that be healthier for you and relieve of your worries about the effect your mom has on your sister?I genuinely thought that was what you wanted to happen.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Yeah but im worried about mom