My sleep problems continue. As my allergy does. Slept all day, then slept again, now woke up at 3am scared and alone

[Against_the_current]

Maybe living in one room isn't for me. But things here are rough, we get a lot of Ukrainian refugees who can pay and take the good places. Nobody cares about people's health. My contact frees me to leave in march and maybe i will but wondering if i could find something better, if i could move all my stuff, sign new contracts, break old one.,. It's a lot of work. I want my place but i don't have a job so maybe i would have to either rent new or wait. And i don't even know whether I'm getting sick and mentally unwell because of the place or because of all the trauma i have. Im now in a month out of classes, just exams, and all exams are put in January. February i would just stay here wondering what to do, feeling alone and claustrophobic, in my room ,covered in my stuff. My sister has a birthday on 17th feb but im scared because mom always ruins it. It would be nice if i could go home for these two weeks of February but i can't help myself when mom starts drinking. Im lonely here, i want to be with sis but mom's too scary. I want to go home and have space but mom's too scary. Meanwhile here i can't clean, i can't take of myself, my sleep schedule is messed up, allergy, spiders, water isn't good, i can't cook. .. And it doesn't help "go to doctor, find a new place" because here politics are messed up. My doctor is in my homecity. Moving out is terribly hard. Im bad on finance. Nobody cares about me. I have 7 exams for the remaining days of this month. And I just keep on getting alergic, sleeping all day, waking up at midnight or 3am at night feeling scared and alone, and i don't know who to speak to or just to make it through February somehow

[SoporRose]

Would it be possible for your sister to visit you for her birthday? She’s getting close to adulthood; could you say to her “Hey, I’m really struggling. I’d be so grateful if you would come help me get my room in order. And I really miss you”? It might make her feel adult and useful to give you a hand. But her schedule might not allow for that.

Going home always makes things worse for you, so I’m guessing you might be better off taking that post-exam time to rest.

I hope your allergies go away. That relief would be a big help, no?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thanks. I actually I don't think she would come and whether it's a good idea to make her clean but it's a good idea to meet outside of home. The relief would be a big help yes

[alat]

I think it is best to meet your sister out for her birthday and enjoy the time together. Can I ask you, how long until you graduate?

It is not true that nobody cares about you, I wish you all the happiness in the world and if there is anything I can do from here, I would be glad to help.

[Against_the_current in reply to alat]

Thank you, i really appreciate some support right now. Half an year till i graduate. Im really worried what i will do for her birthday. Last birthday i was a lifelong traumatizing experience. Mom wanted grandma to come and lied she told her to come, i was there and I was mad she didn't ask us, mom got mad and said it was a lie to "test" us and she sees now how much we value her and she will give up the parentsl rights of sis and leave her to dad's new family and was like "do you know you have a new sister" and me and and sis were crying. .. Since then sis just says "do as you please, i don't care anymore" to avoid it again. And im scared i can be a new family member that comes from a far and ruins everything

[alat in reply to Against_the_current]

That is difficult, what you are going through and I am extremely sorry, but you are still going, and you only have 6 months left until you graduate! So cut yourself some slack, you are extremely strong and I am sure you can get through this.

You will graduate soon, which means you can get a job and support yourself financially and finally gain independence. And maybe you can support your sister as well. Just hang in there for a few more months, which I am sure you can do, then you can start a new chapter and have new experiences.

[Against_the_current in reply to alat]

Thanks. Tho i think these months will be the easiest. I don't know what job i could do and find

[alat in reply to Against_the_current]

It all depends on your major, hopefully something you love.

[Against_the_current in reply to alat]

I'm now a psychology bachelor and i used to love it sm but my trauma ruined my chances of getting a job in the field. Maybe at all fields. I just wrote an assignment and i feel like im going to pass out. Why am i so useless? Wondering what major is good for people like me and is needed on the market