Struggling. Reversed day and night. Sleeping all day, awake all night. Can't do exam session. Emotions overwhelm. Can't call family. They

[Against_the_current]

Don't understand why. I can't manage crazy family, school and exams. And my trauma and mental illness. And school is my only way out. Im mad at my unimates for putting all exams in January while we still have lessons. Im overwhelmed. They didn't have the terrible holidays i did. They don't even care not everyone did a presentation and some people will go to an exam. They don't care some people are on other choosable subjects. We have lessons till this Friday and two papers due 16th jan and this exam then. And with myself only sleeping all day i can't study. How to prepare for an exam that's the first day of the exam session. In Bulgaria, in university, we have lessons time and exam session. During exam session we have no classes in order to have time to prepare for the exams. But this time they putted all the exams in the first day of the session! And may i ask what will we do February? My unimates are so selfish, only think about themselves, but noo im the bad guy.Today we had an online class because the teacher desided to go to the UK. Okay. And she got mad at me for not responding while i had fallen asleep because i can't make it through an online class awake and because i struggle with sleep. I wonder whether to email her and explain im struggling but maybe she will only say i will be a bad psychologist for struggling. I really have reversed day and night. I woke up at 8pm and went to sleep at 9am. I wake up and it's dark outside. It's depressing. Struggling with this issue since i moved here. But i have no better options rn and no strenght to move out rn and my contract is keeping me till march. But i don't think it's only the place. It's my supressed emotions and ptsd and depression at day and anxiety at night. My therapist said i can't sleep because of my trauma. Maybe she would say i sleep in American time zone because I feel more fitting there. But i can't even change city what comes to country aghhh. I hate her interpretations. Make me dig and dig until i bury myself. And then my friends hate me for overthinking and overalasying and oversharing. But my therapist taught me. Im lost. Im lost

Edit . Just found out something bit me. Maybe a spider. I can't clean and do chores. I haven't eaten. I need someone to take care of me maybe. I can't do chores. Im behind in everything. Especially when sleeping all day

[zeerzarqa]

Don't worry I'm fine thoughIs there a problem to be a close friend to talk to solve the problem.

[Against_the_current in reply to zeerzarqa]

There isn't unfortunately

[SoporRose]

"they putted all the exams in the first day of the session!" That is insane. It makes no sense.

I also sleep during the day. I'm not in school, but it makes it almost impossible to get things done (appointments, phone calls, groceries).

Might it help if your therapist wrote a note to your professor, explaining both why you're falling asleep during the day AND that (I'm probably not going to remember this exactly right) you are hyper-aware of what's going on and feel worse because you feel such a sense o responsibility? (I remember you wrote about your therapist telling you something like that recently.) Your therapist could also point out that your struggles will make you a BETTER therapist because you will understand the pain of your cllients.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thanks. I talked to her yesterday and she just told me to make a routine. As if it's that easy. Profs don't give a damn I'm struggling. And my therapist told me to stop using it as an excuse 🥲. Today i went to bed earlier but woke up later. I guess it was because of allergy, something bit me and i woke up swollen at 8pm. Or maybe the therapy session tired me. Or both overwhelmed me. I really need to find a new place to live once my contact is over but i want to buy a place instead of hiring but i need a job to get loan and buy myself a place

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I *hate* it when people say to "just" do this or that. Stop using what as an excuse? Your mental health problems? Isn't that a bit like telling someone who's lost mobility to just start walking?

I have the same problem with going to bed earlier, when I'm not really ready to sleep. Even if I doze off, the sleep I get in the first part my resting isn't restorative and it can make the next day even worse.

I'm sorry about the bite and the swelling. An allergic reaction is not what you needed.

I hope you can find someplace you like and can afford, even if you can't buy right away. But it's tough to find a situation that's right.

Please keep us posted. I think that you will find a way to get through your semester because you are so close to graduating and, despite all your troubles, you have shown you have an impressive core of strength that propels you on your way.

Ruth

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you Ruth 😭❤️. It's so hard. And it's my therapist that told me that. And finding therapists and going over again isn't easy

[booksoverpeople]

Hi. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time with school, and the exams. I do think if you reached out to your teacher it would be a great idea, because even if the teacher didn’t help at least you know you’re tried. i do hope the teacher is respectful and understanding of your problem, having a messed up sleep schedule is hard and can make things stressful because having to adjust to a whole new time zone isn’t easy. I do hope you can get on a good sleep schedule soon, have you tried melatonin? or maybe reading a book throughout the day and trying to fall asleep at night time? I do hope something helps you. I do hope exams go well for you!

[Against_the_current in reply to booksoverpeople]

Thanks