who knew I’d be so popular here admitting I poop myself. I’m humbled by the honor and achievement. I promise to represent my people with … pads, Imodium and anti-depressants!
Huzzah!
pants poopers president : who knew I’d... - Anxiety and Depre...
pants poopers president
Written by
Penny-dumped-Leonard
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123 Replies
•
lol 😂😂 i love your humor
You are so funny. We will ask HU to get you a badge and a crown
🐬
I’m humbled to represent my people. I’ll wear the crown!
I have Crohn’s disease and feel ya 100%. I feel qualified to be your VP, if needed 😀👍
Dolphin14• in reply to
You got my vote
🐬
• in reply toDolphin14
😀👍
dolphin since you’re into voting … you’re secretary. Take great notes. Roberts rules of order.
Penny-dumped-Leonard• in reply to
Kelly please do me the honor of being my vp
• in reply toPenny-dumped-Leonard
Couldn’t be prouder, I accept! 🫡
• in reply to
Happy serve with you two. Especially if we get into any sticky situations, lol. Sorry, I just had to go there😀
Dolphin14• in reply to
Do you mean stinky? 💩
Penny-dumped-Leonard• in reply to
sticky? You mean … slippery?
• in reply toPenny-dumped-Leonard
All the above👍
You need to set up an awareness page #buymeacoffee@shitmyselfandproud.com
Lmao
❤️🐬
you’re chief marketing officer
i spat my tea 😂😂😂
you’re in charge of safety and spills
😂😂 yes ma'am
safety and spills 😄
as pres of the poopy pants club … we need a logo and T-shirt’s. Who wants to exercise their talents?
sausage you’re in charge of digital marketing
On it
….
…..
…..
crew? What do you all think? Color input?
don’t forget yoga pants!!!
struggling to find the yoga pants but found an interesting article about what to do if you soil yourself doing yoga ….
Do tell. This is why I suggested the protective lining
Lined yoga pants to collect any 💩 drips
stop now ….nurses always go too far
• in reply toPenny-dumped-Leonard
Does a brown stain on it gets a prize?
too good for words!
and yet it’s all documented?!
I want this one please
💩
you’re the lucky winner of our competition d14 t shirt and toilet roll in the post
Yippie!! How many rolls??
16 to last you a couple of days
Very generous. Yes that will last 2-3 days. I hope it's the strong stuff.... you know what happens if it's not
💩🧻
iso board of directors for poopy pants 501c3
Now I’m pissing myself
oh no time to get the pooparoo bucket
heres a bucket 🪣
Urologist stat to Penny -dumped-Leonard post
• in reply toPenny-dumped-Leonard
As people say " oh piss on it"
yep gotta have it its from the book bathroom essentials 101 😂😂
LOL
What's the pellets on the floor? 💩 or pearls
pearls of wisdom for anxiety patients!
Fits the topic, let's go with 💩 
Hey poop group! My dog accidentally got out our front door just now. It’s pouring rain here in CA. Chased him for 20 minutes, with 4 neighbors helping me. My ImodiumAD stopped working right in the middle of the chase. Definitely a shitty situation. I’m so pissed off and had to go straight to shower. I know, too much information. What a day for this to happen since I just joined the this club. Figured as new VP I’d better acknowledge my qualifications. 💩🚽
I had a near miss myself nearly 15 min ago.
Turtle head ftw poo crew!
Invincible butthole for one round.
Live to poop another day.
😂😂😂 😂😂 my chest hurt
my people! My tribe!
we had an anxious user awaiting colonoscopy once so no stigma team sent this …..
Never have I ever time….
never have I …
farted in a pair of black universal fit yoga/athletic pants I borrowed from my college hall mate and IMMEDIATELY decided … I didn’t like the fit.
Never have I ever admitted until this moment …
I farted in her pants and gave them right back to her.
I’m a monster!
we’ve all done it penny
ever read “heart of darkness” by Joseph Conrad? He looks into the heart of darkness in the African jungle and finds a savage woman.
Oh the parallels!
I am laughing so hard I am crying -- this is beyond funny!!!!!
are you a real member or a pretend member?
What do you have to do to be a real member?????
Here you go Pres! Will this work?
President’s Shirt
Penny-dumped-Leonard• in reply to
tbt my favorite color is gray
is emperor too prideful?
• in reply toPenny-dumped-Leonard
Never! My job as VP is to provide you with whatever color you wish. Does this work better? (I’m probably going to get kick off HU for posting these shirts, lol)
Gray Pres Shirt
Penny-dumped-Leonard• in reply to
this is solid work here crew. What do we think about Greek letters so we’re a fraternity of shits?
• in reply toPenny-dumped-Leonard
Awesome, I’m on it😀
Hilarious
you in our out, colonel 0127 … ?
Yo, I'm in. I just had to change my sheets today. Whoops. Ok, one more funny poop thing. If you have ever taken magnesium citrate you can relate....something used for intense constipation or colon prep. I read this post every time my annual colonoscopy comes up. HILARIOUS. Hope you can handle it..
Johnie TJ Ferrell IIIFebruary 20, 2020 · What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? I'm glad you asked...12:05 pm: It's time. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR. It's suppose to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life. You are already regretting this decision.12:06 pm: You eat a handful of chips, It's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care. All is right in the world at this moment. Hold on to that. You're about to enter a very dark period in your life.12:37 pm: First sign of life. The pressure is growing. You already have 5 lbs of impacted crap in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano. You feel a poop coming on finally. You think it's time. You're wrong. You get a little snake turd as a teaser.Take note...this is the last semi-solid thing you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours.12:57 pm: That little science experiment you got cooking is about to reach it's boiling point. Your stomach is angry now. It hates you...you can feel it. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run... NEVER run! You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. Almost there. 3...2...1...12:58 pm: Sweet Mary, mother of God...is this real life? Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose. The crap/ water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45 degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down.Is that blood?False alarm.That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving...when you were 5. The smell is horrid...the sound is frightening. You try to clench whats left of your butthole to soften the blow but it's not working. The whole house just heard your liquid fart as it gurgled out of your butt.1:06 pm- 8:30 pm: Everything's a blur. You have crapped out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800's, and your butt now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand Jalapeno seeds stuck in it.You're now curled up in the bathtub crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. You have the poop sweats.You meet Jesus.8:37 pm: You're broken.Your butthole is broken.Your spirit's broken.Life as you know it will never be the same. But...tomorrow's a new day. You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear have and you're going to run up to Walmart with the last shred of dignity you have left...and buy yourself a new toilet brush. You've earned it.
I love you!
I was just going to like my post over and over. Ha!
I would title this post … Typical Monday Morning Circa 9 am EST
This is awesome. Are you in the medical profession? This story is the stuff that we talk about in the break room!
Pulitzer Prize for you! Please submit to the American Journal of medicine.
🐬
Ha. No. Just enjoy some comedy through it all. But I do have over 20 treating doctors and therapists for my condition. It is some award winning stuff!
I'm cracking up. Appears this subject was worth bringing out in the open
This entire segment has made me laugh until I cried.
or til you shit yourself and retracted your colon
This is actually one of my biggest fears. However this thread is helping me find the humor in it if it were to happen to me 😜
I salute 🫡 you Madam President
my clever girl … I appoint you empress of anatomy! You shall henceforth correct any and all misconceptions about ladies and pooping. Will you do me the honor?
I will accept this honor, Madam President ☺️
Omg I thought we'd seen the last of those 😱😱😱
I wouldnt if I were you. Best forgotten. I had a feeling theyd come back to haunt us
I’m humbled. I feel like Lindsay Lohan in mean girls when she tosses a crown for Gretchen wieners, Regina George, Emma Thompson …
Dreams have been nonexistent since I shared them here. How weird is that? It’s been wonderful lately not having these save the world dreams.
LOVE the pants! Could definitely use a full weeks supply. Pixie is adorable. I’d proudly wear his pants! Way to cute😁
you’ve definitely got the relevant qualifications twinkle toes thanks for sharing with class
Well, I’m glad I got to see the Pixiepants! Again, I would proudly wear them 😀This entire thread has me LMAO. I was planning on being “sad”today but can’t stop laughing at ya’ll! Awesome medicine.👍
Pres, you’re killing me. My sides are hurting from laughing so hard. You might cause me to not make it to toilet in time.
I really lost my cool last weekend with someone. A new person to this forum responded with a simple question and got yelled at. I jumped in even though I had nothing to do with it. I was trying to defend someone who was brand new and getting barked at for no reason. I completely lost it and ended up writing a book about it. I know better but just felt so bad for someone who just got here and was trying to help. We can’t control the haters. I feel sorry for them but my god, have a little decency. I hear you. Please don’t leave, we need you … I NEED you.
This is a shitty post 🤗🤣xx
• in reply toBazzak
I was going to say something along those lines, but then didn't want to butt in (pun not intended).
We sure are a mature group, aren't we?😂
Sillysausage234• in reply to
Cmon Minnie share a miss hap or close one with class
• in reply toSillysausage234
Ummm, let me think.....
Can't think of anything. Although I must say that this thread has given me a lot to shit...I mean think...about.
we’re all royal pain in the … ask me where
where up down left right where ? 😂😂
How about The Crap Club or the Poop People.
I read site as shite. 😂 🤦♀️
Lol. And I thot I was bad..
The PPP group
Maybe I will should move up north to Northern Cali!
Poop problems getting better in SF!
Only in SF could you find such an article. Gotta love the writer!!
Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners.
During a period of depression and anxiety several years ago, I was "treated" to several months of macroscopic colitis, so I sympathize with you, and will support your candidacy!
Ok, here's one more suggestion - The Shits Society
To all of you lovely people who have responded to the original post over the last week or so, as I too have done. I cannot begin to tell you how great it is that there are so many replies and so much humour! And support for each other! Let's face it we all struggle at times with anxiety, stress, sickness, worn out bodies, problems within families etc; etc: And I'm sure for most it is difficult to find humour of any kind in our predicaments, but boy, what has happened today is such a tremendous move forward, to be able to laugh at each other and with each other is a real joy. If only we could keep this momentum going and each time we are saddled with problems we can look for the humour within. A lot of you will know from my previous responses that I firmly believe for every negative there is a positive - the positive in this instance is humour. This also reminds me of a little ditty my brother in law taught me many years ago:
It goes, (in a Cornish accent,)
When I larrfs, I farts,
When I farts, I shits myself.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, Phwooot!
Oooh, damn!
it’s everything my p$&y never wanted …
and now we know why you’re in therapy …. 
You all across the pond have definitely got us Americans beat with your shit vocabulary! You all are hilarious and have got this down to a science. I want to move to the UK! 💩😀
Babe1213• in reply to
You'll be very welcome Kelly!
Grim aren't they lol. Thing is, why would anybody want them 🙄
Cute bunny. Idk you can get almost any image these days.
Was forecast here last night but didnt happen
Its a pain . Pm still no better
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