Again woke up at midnight feeling nauseous and panicy

[Against_the_current]

I got back to my accomodation. I fell asleep around 9pm and now at 1am wake up feeling bad in my stomache and anxious and wanting to be home but i can't withness mom drinking but at the same time here i keep on feeling unwell and panicy at sertain times like 8pm and midnight and I wonder can i live alone, is it the place, if i was home i wouldn't wake up or even if i did i would see sis sleeping next to me and calm, my mind is racing. My acid reflux too

[SoporRose]

Hard as it was to be away from your family, I think you made a smart choice. I know you feel miserable and sick, but from everything you’ve written, I believe you would have felt much worse if you had been at home.

That you made a difficult choice and stuck to it is a sign of strength and progress and I applaud you for taking care of your sanity.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you. I'm crying. Thank you so much for always rooting for me ,🥹❤️

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Eventually, you're going to graduate and be able to establish yourself, a little bit at a time, as more and more of your own person. I'm looking forward to seeing where you end up and who you become.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Me too. Im struggling now with choosing a career and what i can work with my issues

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

When you say "choosing a career" is that the same as or different from choosing a master's program? I don't know how it works in Bulgaria. Can you choose your career by taking whatever opportumity is farthest from your mom?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Yeah, it's same. I have to choose what im going to work to choose masters. I want to stay in this city

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I don't mean this as anything but a desire to understand: why do you want to stay in that city? You seem deeply unhappy with your options there and it seems too close to the family that continues to do you harm. What's the attraction?