PTSD?

Okay. I have a lot of questions about PSTD and complex PTSD. I literally JUST noticed something.

I was having unwanted, intrusive thoughts about my dad & his passing. I was thinking about the night it happened. And completely unconsciously, I picked up my phone and began to try to distract myself from the memories.

I didn't even realize I was doing it until I stopped for a second and thought. It was kind of like an "Aha!" moment in my head.

I think about him every moment of every day. I literally have thoughts about his passing and how graphic it was every day, sometimes not even realizing that's what I'm thinking about. I've had dreams about him dying, but in a totally different way than how he actually died; or, I've had dreams that he's trapped somewhere or missing and I have to find him.

Is this similar to PTSD? Is PTSD even a "spectrum" sort of disorder or is there a strict/specific criteria? Some symptoms I'm not sure I have or experience. But a few I do.

My guilt (survivor's guilt?) is eating me alive. I'm tired of living like this.

[Dolphin14]

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad and that you are having such a difficult time.

I have PTSD. You indicate your dad's death was traumatic, you are having flashbacks and nightmares among other things. Trauma can cause these things.

Do you have a therapist? You need someone professional to help you work through this.

We do have a PTSD site here on HU. If you are up to it you may want to post on there for additional help.

You are going through so much. Im here got you

🐬

[Mrspjsmom]

I don't know much about PTSD. But I do know you are suffering from the trauma of losing your Dad. Please talk to your therapist about this. If you don't have a therapist please try to find one. As someone who has suffered a great deal of loss my only other advice is to concentrate on good memories and try to remember that our loved ones never leave us. They watch over us always.

[TheOneWhoIs]

It sounds like the passing of your father was very traumatic for you. And while I'm by no means qualified to make a diagnosis, from the information you've provided, it seems likely you're experiencing PTSD. As other commenters have stated, if at all possible, it's pretty imperative that you seek out the help of a therapist, if nothing else, to help you cope with these difficult memories and feelings and the sooner you start, the better. From my experience, I would recommend seeking out someone trained in EMDR or somatic experiencing (both types of trauma therapy). I wish you the best of luck and offer my sincerest condolences for the passing of your father. You've got some hard work ahead of you but, I promise it will be 100% worth it.

[designguy]

I'm not sure it makes a difference as to what the actual label is of your experience but it sounds like you might benefit from working with a therapist that specializes in treating trauma/ptsd/c-ptsd. Mine used emdr as part of the therapy and it was very helpful at helping me resolve and heal.