Worried about New Year. Help😢

[Against_the_current]

So my city is between mom's city and Grandma's town. For Christmas they(mom and sis) will pick me up and go to Grandma's. We will be there from 24th till 26th. Then mom can either leave me back to my city or take me with her till the end of uni vacation. The uni vacation is 24.12-03.01. Idk how i will get back, either dad or bus, If they both can, idk. The thing is that i want to stay in my city, study, spend time with myself, go to gym for the Last time and freeze my card on 31st. Then go to therapy on 2nd. But i will be alone on new year's and everytime i don't celebrate new year's good, the year is terrible. I can go home with mom when she's coming back from granma but i will have to survive with her from 26th till 1st or second. I don't know how i will make this. And i'm scared If she just drinks and goes to sleep on new year's. My friends stabbed me in the back by having other plans. I'm thinking whether traveling on 31st to mom and then on 1st back but it's expensive. And i have to prepare for the chosen scenario - If i go, i have to pick my laptop, write my stuff while im still here, cancel my gym card or get drawn money for january tax, probably miss therapy, tell my neighboir he can lock the kitchen because we both won't be here, he's leaving it unlocked just because i might need it If i don't go.I need to recover and Boom holidays. I feel like it's August but it's cold and dark and holidays with triggering family. I wanted to rest these days and Boom a decision. And my friends - they have plans, they did presentation without me, one got out of the mental hospital and vents but doesn't wait till i tell her, others don't listen. I need help and nobody can give me proper advice. I was just getting better with my new pill, therapy, sport, studying and away from family and Boom holidays. Christmas is okay - 3 days i will pressure myself to survive with mom and Grandma but surviving with mom till the next year is idk whether i can do it. Yet i don't want to leave mom and sis alone on NYE. Help

[Hidden]

Hi there. I would do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I know you spend time worrying about others and that is really sweet, but we need to look out for ourselves first and foremost.

I wish you a very Merry Christmas!

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I really do worry about them. Happy holidays

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Thank you!

[emmi331]

It sounds like you can compromise. Your mother said she was willing to drive you back to your own city after visiting Grandma. That way you will have time to yourself from Christmas to New Year.

Your mother and sister have managed to survive until now without you there most of the time, so they can survive NYE without you. Is there any way your sister could come visit you during that time - maybe Mom could drop her off at your place until you return Sis on NYDay. Not sure if you have room for your sister, but maybe your neighbor would let her stay at his place if it's vacant. It sounds like you and Sis could use some time together!

[Against_the_current in reply to emmi331]

We really need some time toghether but we don't want to leave mom alone, also i don't think i can get sis. Probably she won't want or mom wouldn't let her. I have to put brave pants tommorow and talk to mom. Maybe compromise is best. I can either go with them or stay alone but im thinking about a scenario where they leave me at 26th and at 31 i catch the train, go home, and at 1st go back. I was thinking about this scenario until i just woke feeling unwell and i'm thinking whether to go