Worried i won't be able to work

[Against_the_current]

I'm graduating from my bachelor degree and i have to deside what next but it's a heavy responsible desision. I'm a psychology student and everyone is always telling me "How will you work with psychology when you're so anxious yourself". I feel like i'm incapable for anything. Even a non-degree job - i would freak out in most jobs. And i feel bad because dad payed for me to study this and what if i can't find a work with it. I'm always anxious he might stop paying for me and since i'm graduating he will stop. I can't go back to mom's. I don't think even she will let me stay at home like a house plant, even If she lets me im gonna get depressed doing nothing and being discriminated from family for doing nothing. I really needed my university years to get out of home, stabilize myself, grow as a person. If it wasn't university, i would be dead 2 years ago. And now i have to deside what to study for masters or to not. If i don't, i get my funds stopped, If i do, i win 1 or 2 more years and more chances for work. In Bulgaria it's really vague. Idk what is going on. Seems like to be a therapist you don't need masters but need supervision and courses that cost like 5 masters and take 3 years too. The most winning scheme is to go for logopedics or school psychology but i don't want to work this and logopedics is really hard for my fried brain. The thing that seems suitable for me is work management and human resources but i don't know whether i will find a job there and 80% of my unimates are going for thid. I hate how university isn't enough and you have to have course. Also it's Christmas and i want to buy my family gifts but im broke. Everything is going up. I have needs too. I need a job but i Wonder what my fried brain can do. For now planning to try for internship again in january, then having practice, meanwhile will try to find something, meanwhile i have exams and i can't make myself study. My brain is racing and pacing and doing loops

[Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

It is always big stress coming to the end of Uni because you are thrown out into the world without any direction. I can tell that it's even more stressful for you because of your situation but as someone who has been through it, try not to worry about it if you can; as impossible as that may be.

You are young and have plenty of time, you don't need to start a career right out the gate and it doesn't have to be in psychology. Very few people get a career in what they actually studied for their degree, it doesn't mean you're not using the degree, it still shows that you are smart and dedicated and hard-working.

In my honest opinion I would say try and get a small, quiet and easy job somewhere doing something simple with very little stress so you can keep busy and have a bit of income but also spend some time on getting things back on track. You can return to do a masters or training course at any point in your life when you feel better and have more time to think about and decide what you want. It is good that you are working through your options though.

I will warn you now, graduating will be difficult! It will be very stressful as you undergo a huge change in your life and lifestyle and may feel very lost. You are smart and strong and have been through far worse though so I know you can do it! You seem really independent so I am sure you will take it in your stride. And don't forget that if the "worst" happens and you can't find work when you leave or don't feel comfortable holding down employment then no one will blame you, it is not a bad thing and no one could ever ask it of you after everything you have been through! There is no way I would ever expect you to start work in your current state and it's just not worth getting stressed or worsening your condition over. You deserve a break from the chaos and if you have to take a year being a house plant then do it! You deserve to be happy and healthy and if that is what it takes then don't let anyone stop you! I believe in you and that whatever decision you make will be the best one, good luck

[Against_the_current in reply to Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

Thank you for your words. They really touched me and made me feel better. And thank you for the advice and for being so compassionate and understanding towards me. Unfortunately i don't think my parents will understand me this well. I don't think dad will leave me have my houseplant year outside home, paying for me, nor pay for my higher education If it's not right after, and If im home with mom it won't be rest at all. I wish people understood me this well and that right now i can't function. I struggle to survive, to take care of myself and even that is a lot. Trying to fall asleep but my head hurts like hell. I'm really glad i opened hu rn because your words are truly beautiful and needed. I'm scared for when i graduate. I'm not ready. Covid hitted in year 1. Dad's baby in year 2. 2 years i was in oblivion. I'm finally getting some ground beneath my feet and they throw graduation at me. I feel like i'm in year 2 not in graduation.

P. S. When i see i have reply from you, always feel better

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I think Blunderbuss was right on all counts. As far a gifts for your family go, could you make some? You’re quite artistic and a small drawing, perhaps to accompany a fanciful tale about the recipient would be a charming present.

You have so many talents!

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you so much! Really good advice and your words warm my heart

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I think you're an amazing person to struggle so strongly against the troubles in your life.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you! So are you! Espessially being here for me

[Blunderbuss_bumpkin in reply to Against_the_current]

I'm so glad I can help

You are a good person and deserve better, I'm sure that whatever you decide will be the best choice for you.

It does make me chuckle though to get excited about seeing the name "Blunderbuss Bumpkin" appear in your alerts😅It's such a stupid name, I love it so much 😂

[Against_the_current in reply to Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

Thanks. And you're hillarious 😄

[Brooklyn99]

Hi. I am a psychology graduate myself. I wasn't sure about what I wanted to do either so I took a year's gap after my graduation. Currently, I am half way through my gap year and I have completed 2 internships that were some of the best experiences of my life. I have a lot more clarity now. I am now going to apply for a job and complete my masters through distance learning. I don't find college education in india to be too rewarding. It is very bookish so I chose to gain more field experience and decided to work while completing my masters in an open university. Maybe, you can do that too.

[Against_the_current in reply to Brooklyn99]

Hey fellow psych student. Thanks for reaching out. It's a good idea since here it's same, university education lacks field knowledge. But i don't know whether dad will let me have a gap year, i will have to work something then, and maybe then won't pay my master's

[Brooklyn99 in reply to Against_the_current]

I understand. I guess the cultural differences factors in here. We aren't required by our parents to get a job until we are done with our studies since most colleges here don't give the space to also have a part time job. One thing that I think might work is that you can take a content writing course. There are plenty of free courses online. After that you can start freelancing as a content writer and you can write about mental health topics. A lot of organizations can also hire you because of this skill. Will be a good way to put your knowledge into use. Either way, take it easy. Nothing in this world is more important than your mental health. Sending love.

[Against_the_current in reply to Brooklyn99]

Thank you. I wish i could but again this damn country. They didn't even want me as a volunteer doing that what comes to being paid. It's a beautiful idea tho. And my mental health is stopping me from working. I'm deabilitated by anxiety but once again i don't think my parents and the system here recognise this

[Brooklyn99 in reply to Against_the_current]

I totally understand...my anxiety also doesn't let me work as much as I would like to. It sucks. I really hope that things work out for you. I am sure there's a way. I wish you all the best.

[Against_the_current in reply to Brooklyn99]

Thank you and i wish you get better and fulfil your potential as well 😊

[Brooklyn99 in reply to Against_the_current]

✨️💜

[Brooklyn99]

Hi. I think there is some misunderstanding. I was responding to @against_the_current's post since our situations were quite similar. I didn't suggest you anything. I am guessing there was some error since I am new to this site.

[Brooklyn99]

All good. No issues. 💜💜

[Brooklyn99]

Merry Christmas 🎅