I need to return to work but I'm struggling

[Dancergirl2020]

Recently, I've had to move back home with my parents and it sucks. What I really need from them is emotional support and I haven't gotten it. My mom has called me "lazy" on a few occasions and I've overheard her telling my siblings I was "lazy".

This bothers me because I've told both of my parents that I am dealing with depression and anxiety and neither of them have been as supportive as I imagined. I have a college degree and would like to work at a law firm sometime soon but I still struggle with depression to the point of lack of energy, motivation, etc.

Simply put, I'm frustrated. I know they view me as lazy but I really struggle with a few things and to have to argue with them makes me feel even worse. I'm planning to move back out and have rushed to get another job even though I'm struggling but I have no choice if I want peace.

I feel stuck, defeated, angry, frustrated and misunderstood.

[Tellmeaboutit]

Depression is often mistaken for laziness. In fact, in some "normal" peoples' minds there's no difference, even when they understand it. You don't say if you're in treatment. With the right mix of medication, talk therapy, support (support group or right here, if you don't get it from family and friends) and healthy lifestyle (diet, exercise, no drugs not too much alcohol) you can manage a productive, meaningful life. No one said it would be easy.

For the short term, scrape together every bit of motivation and determination. you can and just force through it. On thing that has helped me is to visualize some goal (moving out and supporting yourself, perhaps?). Make yourself focus on how badly you want that to get up and get going no matter how hard it is. You can even think of doing it to spite your parents, if that helps you.

[Dancergirl2020 in reply to Tellmeaboutit]

Okay, that's true. I plan on going back to therapy as soon as I can afford it. Money is an issue right now so my best option is to find a support group until I am able to go again. I really benefited from therapy and look forward to going back.

[Tellmeaboutit in reply to Dancergirl2020]

yeah it can cost a fortune. try to find a support group or reach out to friends, or just keep leaning on us here.

BTW I just changed my name so don't get confused.

[Shancan80]

Thats how i feel i will be labeled as lazy as well because functioning is hard when you are depressed and have anxiety in a high stress job and have to leave and depend on family for help, im going through something similar if you ever need to vent ! Hope it gets better for you

[Dancergirl2020 in reply to Shancan80]

Thanks so much. I try to take one day and/or one moment at a time to get through the day. I will definitely be sure to keep in touch because talking about it just these past few days have helped tremendously.

I realize that I keep my emotions bottled up and don’t always allow them to come out in healthy ways and I’m working to overcome that now.

Thanks again for your support!

[Shancan80 in reply to Dancergirl2020]

No problem! I mean it anytime, reach out

[Dancergirl2020 in reply to Shancan80]

Okay

[Redfox9]

No one can understand this phase until they have gone through it.

When I had this same phase of anxiety attacks and all, I didn't tell this to my parents, because I knew it would be hard to make them understand, and they will ask too many questions which I wasn't ready to face.

Instead I start behaving normal. It actually helped as you need to mentally convence yourself that you're fine. It helps a lot.

And you know that you're not lazy, it's just A and D that's making you like this. You're energetic and positive person. Believe in yourself, since you have money problem now ( saw your comment), you have to live with your parents. And give yourself time, don't be in a hurry to work until you're ready for it.

Try to be strong, I have faith in you. You can do this.

Always there for you

[Dancergirl2020 in reply to Redfox9]

Omg, you are so right. It’s difficult explaining something like this to others who aren’t struggling with the same thing.

I’ve turned to journaling again which helps a lot and it also helps me to refocus and stay grounded.

Thanks for your support!

[Redfox9 in reply to Dancergirl2020]

Am so happy that you are again starting your job, despite such difficult situations.

You're brave you can do this.

Always there for you

[Dancergirl2020 in reply to Redfox9]

Thank you so much!

[dore13]

People don't understand how multifaceted depression is, unless you talk to someone who has it. I am more comfortable with other people who have what I have, then my own family. I am very impressed you got your college degree while dealing with depression. Perhaps you should speak to your doctor and they can change or modify your medication. Maybe that can get you on an even keel.

[Dancergirl2020]

I agree. It's much easier talking to other people who struggle with the same thing than to try and explain it to others who don't. I've never been on medication for depression per my own request with my therapist. I'm somewhat afraid of taking medication whether for emotional issues or physical issues.

[Hidden]

It is viewed that way and manifests itself that way so they are not to blame for their views. I have suffered with depression and sometimes I do not want to do anything. My ex husband talked about me badly because I did not want to cook, clean, nothing. I just wanted to lay in the bed, it appears to be lazy. I guess the best way to handle it is to say, I know I am appearing to be lazy, but please know, I do not want to be like this. I suffer with anxiety and depression and it is those symptoms you are seeing in me. I am sorry.

I will pray that all works out in your job Dancergirl2020. Stay prayerful and figure out what situations at work you will be most successful in.

For instance, I am best working at a small company, I am best working by myself but with some interaction with others. You have to find the best situation for you.

[Orangeblossom85]

Hi Dancegirl!

I read the post only and must tell you that we share same story!

How old are you?

I also hear from my parents that I’m lazy and there’s no way that they will even try to understand what’s happening to me. That’s why I’m here in this forum - I get immense number of support everyday!!

I have my ups and downs but with the people in here I know I can get back my strengths, even if just a little bit, just to make it through the day.

I am off the work for two months and should start again this week. I do not know what to do about it... I am so afraid!

[Want2BHappy3]

Can't blame them for thinking that because you said that they don't know what your through. So what are they sppose to think? You need to speak to them about this, if they don't believe it? a lot of friends and family don't I can attest to this. Show them this website then maybe they'll change their opinion. Some don't want to speak to me because their afraid I'm Going to speak about what I'm going through.