For most my life I thought of myself as less than others for having anxiety about everything and anything: people can have fun, go out, live, and I have limitations in these areas; then, all of the sudden, I realized, that I am at an advantage.
I did what others did, I went to school, I made great friends there, I survived bullying and defended myself, I went to college with great GPA, I chose the major I wanted and graduated with honors, I got a job and am financially independent; on top of it all, I have not lost my will to live and to strive for happiness; all of this while I have acute anxiety, which means I am resourceful and capable.
Yes, I have bad days, and I'll probably come back often talking about my anxiety attacks, but in the end, I will survive like I survived before.
Some days will be ruined, but there will be good days, too.
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alat
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👏🏽👏🏽 well done. We will all have bad days. But they don't last forever. We will have plenty of good days. Can't enjoy the bitter without the sweet. But it makes you appreciate the sweet all the more 🧁
Love the positive vibe 💕 It must be tough at times but you survived it and came out stronger, it's really difficult to do. Congrats, and hope everything gets better!
Thank you, I am counting my blessings. Yes it is tough at times, but no one has it easy, life is so. Thanks again for your comment, I really appreciate it!
It sounds like you have handled things very well and managed your life successfully. You have probably learned a great deal about yourself. On those days when you are feeling depressed or anxious I would suggest meditation or mindfulness. You may also want to study cognitive behavioral therapy help you deal with the thoughts you are having that make you feel anxious or depressed.
I like to think I did, thanks you. I do understand myself excluding anxiety, but I understand my other feelings and intentions stripped of anxiety. My therapist did recommend CBT since medication didn't suit me, but I find it hard to believe it could work.
I understand your concerns, but try CBT and see if it can help. I think the hardest part of therapy is making the decision to start it. CBT has a high rate of success, but you won't know if will help you unless you try it. I hope you will find some relief.
If possible, you should be able to find a therapist who specialize in CBT. If you prefer, I would recommend the book Feeling Great by David Burns. He is one of the early developers of CBT and his book is quite helpful and will teach you how to do CBT for yourself. One thing that is important is to do the homework and the daily thought records that are part of the therapy. It is really important to follow through on these to make the therapy effective. I hope this answers your question, but if not, get back to me.
Hello Alat, sounds like you have done well in spite of your anxiety and haven't let it stop you or hold you back, good for you. I had high-functioning anxiety for years and never let it stop me either and I think it has actually made me stronger.
One of the big things that helped in my healing was finding out that anxiety is really a paradox and the best way to deal with it is to surrender to it and desensitize yourself to the feelings and understand that the thoughts are lies and not real. This was different than the way I had been taught to deal with it which was to fight it or out-think it which didn't work. So if you still have anxiety attacks you might consider it, I found the DARE Anxiety book and youtube videos very helpful for it.
Do you think it would work? I always try to fight it because I think if I surrender I'll get a heart attack or diabetes from excess of worry. Does it mean I should expose myself to it? Or I should do my best to block all the triggers but if somehow those triggers happen, I don't fight the anxiety?
It worked for me and has worked for countless others that have realized that their anxiety has been fooling them. I use to have extreme fear of having a heart attack or getting cancer but don't any longer. People with anxiety in general have a problem with uncertainty in life and think they have to try to control everything to be safe. The reality is that it's an illusion and the only real control we have is over our next breath and that's it. Trying to maintain control and being hyper-vigilant about anxious feelings/thoughts takes a lot and wastes a lot of energy needlessly. Surrender to the flow of life and be confident you can handle whatever comes up for you, good, bad or indifferent and you'll be a lot happier and present in your life. It doesn't mean bad things won't happen but it means you will be more present to be able to deal with it.
"Surrender to the flow of life and be confident you can handle whatever comes up for you"
I think one of my biggest problems is that I don't believe I can handle whatever comes my way, only now that I am realizing I have survived plenty and I probably can survive anything else.
I understand, it does take building up confidence. One of the best things i've done for my healing is to practice simple mindfulness meditation which for me is just sitting, focusing on my breath and allowing the thoughts to come and go and just be present with it. It's good for learning to not be attached to the thoughts and to also get in touch with my inner knowing and essence of myself. i know that no matter what is happening in my life I can always come back to that knowing and essence of myself. Doing it enough now, it is something that I also feel and my slow breathing reinforces it.
The other thing is realizing, accepting and congratulating myself for all the adversity I have lived through and overcome and just how strong I really am and validating myself. The old saying that our biggest fear is not what we are but what we can become is really true and most of us are way stronger than we think, especially having gone through and survived what we did to be where we are now.
The other thing I have done is to always put my needs and well being first no matter what and to remind myself that i am safe and secure no matter what is happening in my life at the moment - I am my best friend and guardian, no matter what.
I agree with everything you said, and I wholeheartedly believe I should start practicing them, except for putting myself first, for me I always put my mother first, but I don't think it affects my mental health, as she is not at all demanding or meddlesome, but when she requests something (Extremely rarely) I always do it even if I don't want to.
I don't think there is anything wrong with doing stuff for your mother. People tend to think that putting your needs first means being selfish when all it really means is taking care of yourself, having healthy boundaries and validating yourself so you can be of better service to others. The only thing with your mother is you might reflect on how it has affected you in the past and impeded your ability to put your needs first now, if it is still difficult for you. A lot of our programming happened in the past that we still unconsciously repeat today, so becoming aware of it allows us to reprogram what is no longer helpful for us.
Wow! Thank you for posting! I feel like giving up on school, etc because of my anxiety and feel less than. This is so amazing and powerful. I'm glad you experience this.
Thank you! If you want to talk about it, you can DM me.
I can tell you this: do not give up on your education, you will look back at your anxieties and realize they were all figments of your imagination, not worth giving up a tool as powerful as education for. You can do this, YOU'VE been doing it for years now. Nothing can hurt you.
Education is important not just so that you can know how things work (that's important, yes), but it is also important because it shields you from whatever might come your way, economic collapse, wars, moving away, poverty; any change, with education, you can survive, because you'll have means to provide for yourself anytime, anywhere.
At times like this, I find it helpful to look back and realize how many anxiety attacks I've survived and how sad and regretful I would be had I given up back then because of Anxiety.
Good luck
You are an inspiration to all with a stellar attitude to boot. Loved reading your post. Keep up the good fight.
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Self-Esteem and Anxiety
Anxiety, depression and self doubt
30 year old male. Low self confidence. Anxiety and Depression.
Sadness, anxiety and low self esteem.
What are some tools you use to promote your own self-worth?
