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Anxiety/Depression/Self Doubt Or Just Realistic?

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
26 Replies

Hi guys I’ve just been feeling over the past few days that I’m just nowhere near good enough to pursue my dreams like it’s almost embarrassing that I think I can do it that I’ve completely over hyped what I can do in my own head for my entire life. I just think that millions of people are funny just averages funny and can’t be a comedian and that’s the class I think I’m in I thought I was different but I’m absolutely not. My mother and father and brother all say its just the depression and anxiety and negative self talk that’s making me believe this but I just think I’m nothing special I’m not different from anyone I’m not cut out to do something special. And this just makes me feel awful and yet comfortable and then hating myself for feeling comfortable with not fulfilling my dream because deep down all I really want to do is nothing.

Sorry for the trivial post I know a lot of you deal with so much worse.

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Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx
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26 Replies
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Actually Meyer, your post isn't trivial. I think you are being too hard on yourself

right now. After all you are just 21. It takes time to know what we really want in life.

It takes life experience to go after our passion. You want to do "nothing" because you

have no direction right now. We all have a purpose and a reason for being here. Some

of us know at an early age which path to take and others can go through most of their

lives wondering what they want to do when they grow up. Little do they realize that

they are grown up but stayed stuck in procrastination of what to do.

Maybe you can sit down and make a list of Pros and Cons as to what might interest

you. If your mind dwells on "Nothing" change that thought. It will take you no where.

I'm glad you are on this site. Just one thing that someone may suggest to you, might

change your life forever. Open the doors to your mind and invite life in. You may

be surprised. :) xx

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to Agora1

Wow what a brilliant and beautiful response Agora thank you so much for those wise words but I fear I’ve not made myself clear I know what I want just don’t feel good enough or motivated enough to get it. Thank you for your the brilliant words again though ❤️

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx

Meyer, better yet that you know what you want. That's half the answer. Now it's time

to build up your confidence and self esteem in yourself. There are many people in life

who took a chance on their dream, on themselves and were surprised that they made

it big. It starts with loving yourself and not questioning or doubting what you can do.

Don't put yourself in a corner asking yourself, Why me? Why not you pursuing your

dreams.

When I was 21, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I thought if I don't get

married, then I'd have to go into the Army or become a Nun. I'm glad that I waited

to follow my passion in the medical field. It gave me the confidence I needed in myself,

because I was happy in what I was doing. You can be whatever you want if you

Believe in yourself. I will stand behind you and support your decision to go forward. :) xx

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to Agora1

Another stunning reply you’re on a roll! Thank you so much for those two messages exactly what I needed I will continue to support you as well Agora for as long as you need anytime I’ll be here to chat

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx

I have to say that Agora is not on a roll . She is always brilliant and wise and I am saying exactly what she said. Your roll lol is to reread her response. Pam

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to sweetiepye

Absolutely agree thank you for your reply

56artist_ profile image
56artist_ in reply to Agora1

That my friend is very well said how are u doing this days sure hope winter will not be like last year lol

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to 56artist_

56artist, I'm doing well, thank you. I'm finally at a point in my life where everything

I worked so hard for (emotionally) has paid off. Never giving up on myself, knowing

that one day I would no longer fear anxiety or have it control me. Oh it tries believe me,

but once you achieve that self confidence in yourself, it's easier to accept.

My life is more at peace now as I use meditation and deep breathing as my release

from stress. I only wish I had a forum like this when I was going through my darkness

times with fear. But there is a time and a place for everything in life. During these

last 4 years on this site, I have met many incredible people like yourself and it makes

me happy that the "newbies" of tomorrow have a good start in getting their lives back

sooner than I did.

Wishing you an amazing day 56artist :) You deserve it (we all do) :) xx

56artist_ profile image
56artist_ in reply to Agora1

Thanks so much u are amazing and we see people like you and even myself recovery from a lifetime of anorexia that it is possible better later than never and proud we must be of our accomplishment if u don't mind how is your daughter I think of her lots I was her for 40 yrs I am so happy for you wonderful progress and the beautiful woman you are you awesome have great day too love you

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to 56artist_

Thank you artist for asking about my daughter. Not a day goes by that I am not

worried about her. She still refuses help and suffers physically everyday. I can

only hope that one day, like you, she will find the answer within her and start

going forward. It's been a lonely life for her up til now. Your responses give "ME"

hope that anything is possible and things can change in life when we are ready. :) xx

56artist_ profile image
56artist_ in reply to Agora1

Yes I I don't mean too many people that I know of or that I hear all that have anorexia I do know that Millions do but a lot of them suffer in silence just as she is that's what I did for 40 years I if it hadn't been for my psychiatrist and my therapist that I love dearly and have seen them for seven years and my nurse Nipa sylheti which Ivan's never institutionalize but I wouldn't be alive today they tell me my recovery is 90% of me they are only 10% but still yet I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for them I do want you to know and you probably know this I've done a lot of research on anorexia after recovered just in the last year I researched it I know alot about it before but it is the most deadliest and I'm sure you know this mental illness known it is a very hard illness to fight you have to become a very good soldier in the war against anorexia the voices speak to you 24/7 not audibly but in your head it is a very horrible monster to deal with however I did it for 40 years and I Dave Daly I stand up proud and have a nameless soldier in this war and that the institution where I went they gave me the tools to become the fighter but 90% of it was me they tell me the fight within it's almost taking my life many times before I got help seven years ago come January are you stand up to it daily stress makes it suck me back in and there's times extra stress thanks I can't make it without eating disorder but yes I can I just fight harder and I feel I am 57 now as of last month Angora I do feel that as we get older and our bodies get a little feebler which I'm doing great physically just some aches and pains like everybody else accepting the fact that I'm 57 not a spring chicken but it will be harder fight for me to stay recovered but I will not let anorexia win I am much bigger than it ever was that is called termination to stay recovered I wish you well with your daughter it really it is nice to hear you reply to me and I know it's painful for you my mother went through that for 40 years watching me suffer I love you as a friend and thank you for all your support to everybody on this website you're a great inspiration take care chat anytime

56artist_ profile image
56artist_ in reply to Agora1

As I tell many people I do not proof read my text before I send them I should however my nurse is name is not whatever that Harry name is and I don't know a lot of people personally that are anorexic so if it's that looks a little weird in this conversation words and all that crap it's cuz I didn't proofread it lots of laughs

Cookie101 profile image
Cookie101

G'day Meyer, I think it comes down to why your doing it. Are you doing it because you want to be rich and famous? Or because you love doing it? If you want the first option. You should stop now. It won't make you happy and that will never make you good at anything. If it's the second option, well that's far more interesting. You may think that you are 'average' but everything requires skill and knowledge. You aren't born with either of those things, you have to cultivate it and nurture it. One day you will find your unique style but it will require time, patience and hard work. None of that is unachievable. And you have exactly nothing to lose by trying, and everything to gain. The worst thing that happens, is you one day find a more interesting path and you find yourself doing something else. If you decide that you are 'average' and your decision is not to even step foot on the path, your always going to wonder what might have been. Believe me when I say, those are the regrets that eat away at you forever.

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to Cookie101

Thank you for your great response firstly I want to sincerely apologise for my late reply I have been very busy unfortunately. I am doing it because I love it yes to be quite frank the thought of the fame part of it is the part that brings a lot of anxiety as well. Thank you for your wise words I just can’t help but feel consistently that I’m kidding myself and people only say I have the ability because they have to be kind. But I definitely agree about the regret part it was a great point. Thank you again and if you ever need anything don’t hesitate to message me

Cookie101 profile image
Cookie101 in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx

G'day Meyer, not to worry about the late response. I have a tendency to drop out entirely. Sometimes I can legit blame the internet connection, sometimes it's me replying in my head, then getting distracted, before too long, weeks have passed! It's so easy to feel like your kidding yourself. Self-doubt is the reason so many people give up on dreams. I find that it's more useful to look at yourself critically. Tape yourself if you need to. Leave it for a few weeks and come back and watch it. If there are people that you admire, watch it side by side with them and note any differences. See how easily they move from one topic to another, how they engage the audience. Confidence is also important. Look at it critically and make a note of where you can improve. Now keep practicing. I have a great deal of personal experience with regret. I always wanted to make costumes. Finally got into a course which involved moving from Australia to the UK to do. Really struggled with it, didn't know why, only just passed. Did manage to do some costume work eventually but again, really struggled and didn't know why. Got out of it soon after and ended up in retail. Never really made it back in. When I was in my early thirties I was finally diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. Have since spent years trying to figure it out and now in my late thirties, I'm finally getting to a place of balance. I lost out on my dreams because I didn't understand what was happening in my head. I hate seeing other people give up on their dreams because of doubt. Like I said, regret is powerful. It eats away at you. Sorry, I'm rambling now.

56artist_ profile image
56artist_

Believe in you and doesn't matter what others think if it is dream believe in you and go for it you never know unless u try we all are different and only you have the ability to pursue your dream it is your life live it try and see stand proud

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to 56artist_

Thank you for your that heartwarming reply the response I’ve received has been really helpful I can’t thank you enough. If there’s ever anything I can do for you please don’t hesitate y

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx

Message me *

NeuroticSanity profile image
NeuroticSanity

Your post is NOT TRIVIAL!

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! I had been planning an educational book series for over ten years but I never really felt good enough to take it further. It took several nervous breakdowns and a financial crisis to get me close to actually pursuing that goal. Then I asked my sister to FORCE me to take one of my concepts and actually start writing. I am in that process now, but I feel hugely better and more optimistic. I have researched potential publishers too. I even set up reminders on my phone to do some writing each day. I don't actually do it as often as I should, but I move forward whenever I can.

So, my advice is, that you START, if you haven't already.

* Research places with open mic nights and find out how long a set you need.

* Write, i.e., a ctually plan out each word.

* When you have some firm bits, try them out on family and friends. Make sure they UNDERSTAND that you need BRUTAL honesty because that is what your audiences will give.

* When you've tried your full set on them in full performance style, get yourself on the rosters for some open mic nights. Seed the audience with family and friends whenever possible.

* Watch the first season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It is an Amazon TV series about a woman starting a career as a comedian.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, remember that if it doesn't work out, your life isn't over. From the ages of three to nineteen (inclusive), I had planned to be an actress. Rather suddenly, that ceased to be an option, and I needed to find a whole new life path. Through research, talking to people, and careful soul searching, I found one. I moved forward. It may be good to come up with a backup plan anyway. It may give you more courage to know that you will be fine, no matter what.

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to NeuroticSanity

WOW thank you for that incredibly intelligent reply it has really helped me put things into perspective and look through a different lens. That’s wonderful I hope you do get published although I’m sure you will you should be elated with that achievement!❤️ However I have written a lot of stuff but I tend to get rid of it as I don’t think it’s good enough so I can never get down a solid set. I’ve tried bits and bobs on my family for example letting them read whet I’ve written but I hardly ever get a laugh from it x

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to NeuroticSanity

I sincerely apologise for the lateness of my reply btw

NeuroticSanity profile image
NeuroticSanity

No need to apologize. 🙂

I am glad to know that what I said was helpful.

Best of luck to you!!

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to NeuroticSanity

And to you ❤️

nanhaus profile image
nanhaus

Meyer_Gdmnx

Sometimes you just have to look at your thoughts and question them, right off the bat!

"I am not good enough" is a thought that DOESN'T belongs to you and you only.

It's a UNIVERSAL thought that we ALL human beings carry with us to some extent or another, from early on. We all play this out in our lives in various different ways.

So in that sense, you are not special. You are neither deficient, defective or defunct. You are a human being who has a (faulty) THOUGHT that says "I am not good enough".

Welcome to humanity.

Now, you can read this and give me evidence and 100 reasons why you are not good enough.

ORRRRRRR.......

You can just question that thought. And you can think, "How does this thought serve me?"

(spoiler alert! It doesn't!)

Why would you want to keep holding on to that belief if it doesn't serve you?

I'll tell you why. Because it makes you RIGHT. You don't have to argue with it. Arguing with our thoughts is uncomfortable work. Why? because we are used to them. When we have to challenge what we think, it doesn't feel good.

It disrupts our identity. Anything that disrupts your identity, you will naturally reject.

That's ALL that's happening here. You don't have to believe your family or go read some book on positive thinking, all you need to do is be willing to question your own thoughts.

Hope this helps:)

Meyer_Gdmnx profile image
Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to nanhaus

That was incredibly helpful thank you so much for that reply that made a lot of sense to me I try really very hard to just accept anxiety and anxious thoughts and feelings but it’s so difficult and feels like it doesn’t work! But this was incredibly helpful and insightful as to why my thoughts feel so deeply engrained thank you again I really really appreciate this reply I rush you all the luck in the world continuing to beat your challenges ❤️

Ollyvie profile image
Ollyvie

Hello Meyer_Gdmnx, I can understand how you are feeling right now but don’t let the anxiety stop you from dreaming and pursuing your dreams in life. You can achieve anything you put your heart to do. If your anxiety and depression are better managed, you can and will be able to do more than you think you can. You are a survivor. If you have survived till this time, then you have got in you what it takes to survive in all things. I understand that we are human and sometimes get discouraged but don’t let our challenges stop us, take up smaller project at a times and you will be surprise that you can do. Just break your dreams into smaller steps and take one step at a time. They say a journey, or a thousand miles begins with just one step. Tortoise do get to their destinations. Learn the skills to focus and direct your thought. Wishing you all the best.

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