So anxious and down

[Giraffe2]

So sorry to bother you, but I’ve been feeling really anxious the last few days.  Well honestly, I’ve been feeling kind of down, which then makes me feel anxious. It’s almost like I feel like I’m sad about nothing or stupid stuff, and then the universe is going to be like “well I’ll give you something to REALLY be sad about, and then you’re going to look back on these days and wish this was all you were sad about!” Has anyone else ever felt like that? These past few days of break from work I did not spend with my kids enough. I cleaned all day on Wednesday and we had our 1st Thanksgiving get together. We had our 2nd on Thursday which was most of the day. But I def could have Fri and I was so lazy! I slept in, then went Xmas shopping for like 2 hours, then came home and took a nap and then my son had a soccer game that night. I wasted the entire day and spent like no time with my kids. And then whenever this happens I’m so worried something horrible is going to happen to them and then I’ll regret those days even more. So I’ve been sad about how lazy I’ve been, and also about stupid, material stuff (we went to a 40th bday party on Saturday at a literal mansion and I’ve been jealous). That is SO DUMB. I have SO much to be thankful for in my own house (way more than the physical house) and so then I get mad and sad at myself for thinking that stuff. So then again, I just feel like something horrible is going to happen to show me just how lucky I WAS but I was so stupid and selfish and pouting about other meaningless stuff. Has anyone else felt like this?

[JasmineJaz]

Hi Giraffe2, I live alone so I probably can't relate to the guilt about not spending enough time with kids, but I want to say that it's totally fine to sleep in one day for the holiday, and it's totally fine to feel jealous. I think you are a very responsible parent, thinking about what more you could've done for your kids. Many other parents (including mine) would say something like "do you know how hard I work to provide for you". It's true though, it's hard to raise children, but you didn't lay it on others. You have to take good care for yourself before providing for your family, and you deserve a day off.

[Agora1]

Hi Giraffe2, going back to your posts of 3 years shows me the same fears

that you have carried with you day after day, year after year. It sounds like

your life is good and so you waste your energies on worrying about something

happening to the children that would destroy your world

It's pretty hard to enjoy the moment when we worry about the future that we

have no control over.

Being grateful by staying in the moment and embracing what you have in front

of you right now is the way to live. Maybe some of this is about the guilt you feel

in not having time to spend with the children. It's not about something tragic

happening to them as much as it is about them growing up and leading their own

lives that may be the worry.

I'm glad you are talking this issue over with a doctor in hopes of ridding you of the

doom and gloom feeling. My best to you xx