How to deal with myself?!?

[SparkleLove]

*Some random feelings-- I am having spiraling thoughts.. I am feeling like crying. I even cried few tears.. I have never been felt (ever) to type my thoughts nor share it with social media (this is my absolute first time sharing). I constantly feel people are grouping around me and judging me(not sure if it inside my mind or actually happening). I have not been able to use my education and experience since my masters program graduation (I have not gotten any jobs offers yet). I feel so drained and tired! I feel like people walk all over me and all that knowing I am feeling helpless to help me out. I am hoping to find right people in my life,

[SparkleLove]

Thank you for the reply, it really means a lot!! I always take tasks too big to chew and I will eventually feel sorry if not achieved (how I wanted the outcome to be). Most of the time these small things/ decisions in life goes unnoticed. Many a times it is really hard to communicate these emotions even to people who really support us. Its tricky to find the balance and navigate through emotions during these situations. Thank you again for the love! ❤️

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

You are really brave to come on here and share how you're feeling. And that right there deserves some respect. So props to you.

Anxiety with ruminating thoughts are hard to deal with. And it's okay to cry. Ain't no shame in it. I've shed a few tears myself. I can tell you that most of it yes is in your head. People in general are self-centered. Ever people watch? Notice how the majority are on their cell phones. They really don't notice others around them. So they're not looking at you and judging you. And even if you have some people that are judging you, who are they? You have to ask yourself that. Do they pay your bills? Do they live with you? Do they sleep with you? If all these are no then their opinion doesn't matter. They are not a part of your inner circle. And their opinion their unsolicited opinion of you is not needed. Who cares what they think of you? And you have to ask yourself that why do you care about these people you don't know if they are judging you? You owe these people nothing. Everybody at some point has dealt with anxiety and depression. Some people just don't admit it. They rather choose drink or some other illegal pharmaceutical to help them get through the day. But here you are looking for support. And that's very big of you. And I'm hoping and I'm pulling for you that you are able to find the right people. And that means doctors like psychologists, psychiatrist or a counselor. To help you on your journey to overcome these anxious thoughts and fears you have. And know that you can do this. You're very smart you're intelligent and you know this. You busted your behind at school to earn those degrees. That's something I wish I could have done. But you know what I still have hope that I'll eventually go back to school and get those degrees. Not to prove to anybody else but just for myself. It's my own personal goal I'm doing it for me and nobody else. So you can do this and you've got this. Wishing you peace and love ❤️🫂

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi SL.

Firstly U are in the right place to reach out & share & ask for help at the same time .

All ur thoughts & feelings are valid & shall be respected here as so many of us have been there, be it at the start of ur journey or further along & as usual I hope they all pop in & let U know that ur not alone & help U on ur journey.

Now a suggestion if I may when U feel that everything is getting too much , find urself some space & work on ur breathing & link ur thoughts to it , so as U calm ur breathing ur thoughts follow suit. It's hard to do & needs work in training urself to help urself & we all get setbacks too buy U get up & keep moving forward with calm thoughts .

I wish U love & light on ur journey .

[SparkleLove]

@orangeclawhammer777@CL3V3R-G1RL@DodgeDhanda@Luna_Child: I am really grateful for finding this space SAFE to share a piece of my mind. (from my bottom of heart) I really appreciate you guys taking your time to reply and sharing your thoughts and emotions. I never really trusted social media (coz I am always feeling really insecure in trusting people). I never been able to stick around people since my childhood (have not earned few or true friends),, my heart will just drop (goes palpitation mode) and my mind thinks that everyone at some point will talk behind my back and I am having bad trust issues (so I built a shell around me). I have experienced when people I speak or trust talked behind my back at every stage of my life since my 6th grade (poor me :(. I wish I could improve trusting people and appreciate small things happening in life, Hope you guys stay safe and warm!

[Babe1213]

So sad to hear that you are struggling with your spiraling thoughts, they can be quite disconcerting to say the least. Tears are good - they can release a lot of tensions so don't worry too much if you have a weep or two. Just take a few deep breaths when they are over and prepare to move on. Forget Social Media for a moment or two and consider what you have said about writing down your thoughts. This is a wonderful way of owning your thoughts and feelings, the fact that you have brought these thoughts out into the open is a huge part of the healing process, even if you have no desire to share these thoughts with others. I have been doing this for many years. It always seems such a release whenever I share my thoughts. Usually I go on to pray over what I have written - I am a Christian lay Minister in the UK aged 75, and this is my way of doing things, and I have even reached a point - many times - where I have prayed through the bad parts of my life, written it down, prayed again and quite literally given the thoughts and feeling to God as a sacrifice, by burning the papers in prayer. To me this has been a huge release. It may not be helpful to everyone, because not everyone has a belief in God, but I would say, God believes in everyone! I hope you will find the right work in the near future and wish you well in all YOU WILL ACHIEVE, the right thing will come along. Do keep us updated

[ScooterJoe]

Echoing what others have said, this IS a good place to be. I would never have thought writing my hurts and fears so that others could read them would be a help but, you know, it really is. To have someone else say 'yes, I've been there too' or 'I'm going through that now' somehow provides that little validation that says I'm not alone in what I'm feeling and someone else does understand. And you know what? Eventually you get to the point that you read someone else's post and decide to reply to it like when you first shared your first thoughts. We've become a community where everyone is important and no one is judged or ridiculed. Granted, we can't reach out and give each other a hug but this is definitely the next best thing. You sound like you have a lot going for you. A masters degree--that's great. Our world is shutting down around us right now because we have people who don't want to work. Job openings abound but no one seems to want to fill them. Don't bypass a job that you feel your degree makes you over-qualified for. Work at doing something until you find what you want. The pandemic changed the way many of us thought and lived. Have you ever sought professional help? Do you take any meds for depression? My doctors have told me that I'm in a moderate bout of major depression. Although I've not sought counseling (small town, few options), I do take meds and consider myself doing pretty well. Stay in our little group--it just might help. And by the way, I'm 72 years old and still cry lots. It clears my sinuses, relieves pressure and makes my eyes sparkle!