feeling lost

[LostinPA26]

I recently lost a 2 1/2 year relationship. We were engaged to be married. I put a lot of effort into she and I, and it was honestly my future plan. Now I’m struggling with how to move forward when I really don’t want to. I am very depressed and don’t even find happiness in the things I’ve always enjoyed. I’m not eating much, not sleeping much. Struggling just to get through everyday at work. Then hate knowing I have nothing to look forward to at home. I don’t want to do much of anything, just sit and think, it has kinda consumed me. I want to snap out of it, but I have no idea how.

[Hidden]

Hey friend, yep... definitely sounds like a broken heart. If it's one thing I've learned, no matter the age or length of the relationship, the pain is always as harsh. I'm not a fan of that old saying... "Time heals all wounds" because in my personal experiences time has done nothing to ease my pain. So in short my friend I don't have any words of wisdom as to dealing with your pain other than "head on" but I wanted to let you know that I've been there.

[LostinPA26 in reply to Hidden]

thank you.

[Celtic27]

Hi there sorry to see things are not working for you at the moment did you feel you had made a mistake to commit to your girlfriend and had fallen out of love or were you trying everything to save your relationship and felt you had lost her for ever ! Everyone's been in a similar situation at some point I'm was nearly married in the early 80s I felt there was nothing for me to carry on ! But I met my wife of 37 years and was happier than I had ever been so don't give up and you will meet that right person and I wish all the best good luck.

[LostinPA26 in reply to Celtic27]

I feel I tried everything I could to save it.

[Celtic27 in reply to LostinPA26]

I believe you so get on withdrawal your life you will eventually meet that special person when you least expect it take care !

[Romne in reply to Celtic27]

Also, remember you don't "have to" EVER meet the right person. society tries to attach a stigma to those who choose to never marry or who prefer to be alone. It's BS don't buy in to it or pressure yourself.

[Tara52 in reply to Romne]

Agreed, sometimes it's much simpler that way.

[Romne in reply to Tara52]

I think marriage should only be done if you plan on having kids. Why would you invite the government in your bedroom otherwise? I see no reason to do that with the way divorce works at the moment.

[Tara52 in reply to Romne]

👍🙂💛

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi LIPA26.

A suggestion if I may.

U search inward to see how U can forgive urself & learn to love U as well as understand what truly makes U happy & if every one was truly honest a good majority would say single life , why U may ask , its to give urself time to learn who U are & yes we all do have some emotional baggage but the lighter the load the better U will treat U & hopefully find someone who has reached the same point as U are at once ur ready to move forward.

The relationship that wasn't meant to be was exactly that not meant to be & instead of beating urself over it & overthinking everything & self sabotaging , get to learning who & what makes U tick & what it is that truly want for U.

I'm not going to tell U this or that or pry into what didn't happen as I think we should look forward & U can reflect once ur in a better place & also make no mistake it's U that has to do all the work to help U. Same as talking to a therapist, its U that makes all the changes they just act as ur inner self as not everyone can actually do the inward analysis & so the therapist plays the part. Medication is only a short term fix ( says the man addicted to his meds for pain , diabetes & mental issues but the Duloxetine helps calm my brain down so I can think ) .

Now go talk to urself & see what happens or see a therapist if that helps but remember U are the 1 who has to work it all.

I wish U love & light on ur decision & then journey

[AnxiousSilver]

"I want to snap out of it, but I have no idea how. "

I don't know if this will help, but I was in two 5 year relationships, (1 for sure heading for marriage) that mutually broke off.

All I can say is that each day forward that goes by, gets less and less painful.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Hi AS.

I'm so sorry that U've endured such heartache & as I wrote above , we must look to ourselves within to learn & eventually understand & to forgive ourselves too. I personally believe that ......

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON & WE DONT ALWAYS KNOW OR UNDERSTAND THE REASONS EITHER BUT WHEN WE DO FIGURE IT OUT & ACCEPT FORGIVENESS TOWARD OURSELVES ......

THE THING THAT WILL BLOW UR MIND IS .

THAT THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED COULD ONLY HAPPEN AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT IN TIME & NOT EVEN A MILLISECOND BEFORE OR AFTER!!!

But it comes with the journey of self . Its a journey we all must take if we want to understand why we fell ill in our minds , see break an arm the set it to fix itself , cut urself & ur blood congeals at the opening to stop the blood & guess what ur mind is still looking after U as U are learning why ur mind became wired in a different way.

It's hard & tough but if U believe in a god then even that god didn't build the earth in 3 days . There will be highs & lows & relapses BUT if U don't rush things & learn about urself those relapses get less & less as U learn more about U. & for all we know once U feel thar ur mentally in a far better place ur soul mate may just pop into ur life & both love , respect & keep learning together each & everyday.

[Raggedy-Ann]

I suggest you get a dog. A dog will love you back to happiness. I lost years after my divorce, and 2 years after my boyfriend of 8 years fell in love with some else. Time, your life is precious. breaking up is painful and exhausting, but try not toilet it eat your life.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Hi RA .I agree a pet is a great help & the perfect listener & never judges U , its like therapy without the expense of a therapist . I would add that people may prefer other pets than a dog.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to DodgeDhanda]

I suggested a dog because they are always excited to see you when you get home. That is a great feeling. Dogs want to go places with you and it's nice to have someone there. You need to walk a dog = exercise for the owner too. You can't get that from a bird, snake, fish or even a cat. Cats are good too, they usually like to snuggle, stand on you....

[DodgeDhanda in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Ur absolutely right & we have a dog in our home too. I thought I'd mention it before other got overly hurt as you didn't mention any other pets, but with a dog U can sit there & Stoke them as ur chatting to them , they don't sneak off to other homes to eat & still come home to eat more. As U said dogs are happy to see U & if they not seen U for a while they make a fuss & really slobber over U lol

[Xene]

Living in “Heartbreak Hotel” is absolute s**te! There’s nothing you can say or do and there’s nothing anyone else can say or do. Sadly you have to go through the grieving of the loss of the relationship and that can take too much damn time.

We’ve probably all been there at some time in our lives but manage to move forward bit by bit eventually. Sending positive vibes. It will get easier over time.

[AnxiousCanadianChic]

I was with my ex hubby for 8 years and then he wanted to split and I was heartbroken. For ME I went out meeting new friends and having fun, that really helped me get through the heartbreak.

[Sunshine2424]

There is no correct way to stop feeling a certain way, but you are already doing something positive for yourself which is expressing how you are feeling. Using outlets like this to feel supported and have a better understanding of yourself is a great start. Unfortunately no one can tell you to do a certain thing in which will change how you feel. But my suggestion is to start journaling your thoughts to allow you feelings to be placed somehwere beside only in your mind.

[Tara52]

Yes I think most of us have suffered the loss of a relationship. It can be very painful. If the relationship was having alot of unresolved issues maybe you can be grateful that you didn't get totally committed to a lifetime of misery with that person. Do you have a therapist that you can discuss what issues you may have had in the relationship. This way maybe your next relationship may be a healthier one. Best wishes.💕

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

A broken heart. There is no easy fix for it. It's something you have to go through in order to get through it. What I can say on the matter is that right now you're in the stage of grieving. Because that's what it really is. You are grieving the loss of this relationship. You were with this person for 2 and 1/2 years. You had dreams and plans with this person in mind. And now those plans and dreams have changed. And yeah it hurts and it sucks. But take comfort in the fact that you did try all that you could to try to salvage this relationship. However at the end of the day maybe start to come with terms that you know what, Maybe it is for the best that you &this person broken up. You don't want to be married to someone who doesn't love you anymore. And be fighting for their love constantly. Trying to make them love you. Marriage should be between two people who are complete. And you end up sharing each other's joys or what brings y'all happiness and joy. And giving support to one another. Because there will be times where you may not have it that day and your spouse has to be your support system. And then they're going to be times where you're going to have to have their back. And nobody's keeping score on who did the most for who. Because that is not what marriage is about. You also enjoy watching them grow and evolve. And you encourage one another too grow and evolve. I know right now it doesn't feel like you'll ever find love again. But you will. It might not come in the way you think. It might just happen randomly. So keep your heart open to that. However by all means take time to grieve this loss. You will get over this. It just takes a little while. And yeah I really wish there was a fast forward button for some like this. But you'll be okay. Hugs to you ❤️🫂

[Raggedy-Ann]

It is better you found out now than to be married to someone who doesn't love you enough to make a commitment.

a few kind words