PARENTS

[littlefreak1]

I know it seems like a weird question but, have you ever been bullied by your own parents? Everytime i do something they don't approve they insult me for hours.,. Even though I'm almost 20 I'm just not allowed to make my own decisions and i have to do everything according to their plans. I would just want them to accept for who I really am and to stop comparing me to others.

[Mrspjsmom]

It's called emotional abuse and my parents did it all the time. My mother would even bring up everything I had done my entire life! Maybe that's why I remember why I did those things. The reasoning behind them.

[littlefreak1 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

That's exactly what's happening to me and I don't know hot to get out of it. Everytime I think it's finally over it starts again....it seems like living in a loop that i can't stop. I wish I could have the strenght to put an end to it.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to littlefreak1]

I wish I had a good suggestion to help. All I can think of is what I used to do. I would take deep breaths while silently in my mind repeating a word or phrase like NO, STOP or YOU WRONG. I did that from the time I was a young child. My Mom passed away when I was 22 and after all those years of emotional abuse I was speechless when people at the funeral told me how proud she was of me,how much she loved me and that she talked about me all the time sometimes bragging about my accomplishments. My Dad died when I was in my early 30's but I had the chance to talk to him. He apologized for so many things,told me he loved me and was proud of me. I only wish they had done that sooner.

[littlefreak1 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Thanks for the suggestion, it’s actually similar to something that I already do when these things happen. My mom behaves almost in the same way yours did. She is always criticizing and insulting me, but then with other people she speaks very well of me, so when I tried to speak up and tell people what she has been doing to me, no one of course believed me and I felt so alone and misunderstood. Just today she told me she is embarrassed of me because I’m not pretty enough and in her opinion I don’t even dress well and then she kept repeating that she wants nothing to do with me because I am different from all the other girls. This of course hurt me a lot because if not my own mother can accept me and love me, then who can?

[Mrspjsmom in reply to littlefreak1]

Just try to remember it's her not you.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to littlefreak1]

I fight back with hum... that's interesting. Then walk away. I am 55 my mom is 81 and she has picked on me about my clothes my whole life. I embrace my unique style. I tell her well it's a good thing you aren't wearing it. Oh the comparison of "you're not like other girls." respond with Yeah, isn't it great! I am unique. I try to turn the criticism into a compliment. If she keeps at it try, someday you'll understand.

My grandmother picked on my mom her whole life. I remember my mom wrote grandmother a nice letter. Grandmother corrected it and sent it back. One of the worst things anyone can say is your just like grandmother.

I suggest asking your mom about her relationship with her mom. I bet there's where her damage came from. If it's true ask her about being criticized by her mom for her clothes or hair, the same stuff she pulls on you. Hopefully this will remind her how it felt.

[just_keep_swimming]

I do feel sometimes my parents bully me . I feel though what can I say im angry and want to yell at them but 1) they have sacrificed so much for me and talking back to them will make it feel as though im not appreciative 2) if I yelled back they would just yell back and I would rather not be in a yelling battle . So what do I do I bottle up all my emotions and when im alone I cry and cry . Its a hard battle sometimes .

[littlefreak1 in reply to just_keep_swimming]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I do exactly the same thing. I bottle up my feelings until I can't anymore and eventually I explode. I'm just afraid of what I could do when there will be this explosion. I don't wanna hurt anyone, but they keep hurting me over and over again that it feels impossible to escape this kind of torment.

I really hope both you and me can get through this.

[just_keep_swimming in reply to littlefreak1]

yea I have taken my anger a lot of times on my sister and its unfair to her . Me too I know that we can get through it and also we should be able to explain to them how yelling at us and bullying us makes us feel but in my case this did not go smoothly I was just yelled at for being unappreciative of everything .

[littlefreak1 in reply to just_keep_swimming]

Same thing happened to me when I tried to explain it to them. I guess they want to trigger a reaction in me, but I'm not the kind of person who yells and insult other people, it's just something not in my nature. I really don't know why they are behaving like that, because they're my parents and they are supposed to love me, no matter what.

I'm here if you ever need to talk about it.

[just_keep_swimming in reply to littlefreak1]

Thank you 💜. Same with you I am also here if you ever need to talk .

[fauxartist]

Yes I was, my whole life, until one day I'd had enough and walked away from my abusers.

[littlefreak1]

Theat's why I'm so excited to leave for university!!! I know it's bad to say it, but I think the only way I can be happy is to escape from them and never going back.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Do you live at home?

[littlefreak1 in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

yes