I just talked to my mom and it wasn’t exactly a good conversation. She says I’m too negative and I should change the way I speak. While there is some truth to that in my current situation I cannot help being negative.
Short background: I’ve been living in California for two years and I’m now dirt broke after having to break an apartment lease because of some bad blood with one of my first cousins.
Anyway, she mentions some of my troubles but she expects me not to respond in the negative. There’s literally nothing positive to say about this! I keep trying to explain my feelings to people and all I ever get in response is I’m too negative or that I “wear rose colored glasses” in other situations. Isn’t that what the fuck bipolar is? I try not to get mad but I’m sick of feeling misunderstood. It literally make me want to keep my mouth shut at all times.
I’ve already been told I will never find a husband until I learn to do this. I just really hate life right now. Every time I think I’m okay something else pops up. It’s miserable and exhausting.
Written by
southernbelle87
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I don't know bipolar disorders so I can only imagine your difficulties. However, I have parents. And that is the part of the problem I can understand.
The hurtful comments, even involuntarily spoken, from my parents used to put me in great distress when I was younger.
But they simply didn't understand what I was passing through. I think there is something generational involved here. They see the situation from the outside and analyze it using their own references. And in my case, those references regarding mental health and wellness at large were somewhat "outdated" to say the least.
My suggestion is to politely listen to what they say but to keep your inner self detached so you can't be hurt. Accept they have their opinion, they may even believe their opinion is the truth. But even if they are your parent you don't have to accept everything they say like words of wisdom. You have the choice to have a different position.
One last word: don't try to argue with them. In my experience, it's pointless and only makes things worst because it attains you emotionally even more. Respect they have their opinion. But accept to forge your own.
It's true. I never really thought of it as generational but it may be. It's wonderful to have support here.. It's unfortunate that often we don't get the same from other people in our lives
I'm sorry for what you are going through. I personally can speak to some of it. Yes, it's good to be positive, but it is important to have genuine feelings and work through, not repress. Some days it's easier than others to put a spin on things.
I think its not nice when people just say "youre negative". I mean, its ok to express if were struggling. And if we need help to change our perspective then instead of criticizing us then maybe show us instead and help us. We all need help to be more positive so youre not any different to anyone there. And sometimes life is so hard and we need a place to talk through our problems. So, we need both. To be acknowledged when we struggle and support to feel happier. I hope you feel better soon. You arent alone.
Thank you so much for this. I am still struggling but I'm learning to keep it to myself when I know my audience. I know it shouldn't be that way but opening up to people who don't get it has become exhausting. Again, thank you for your kind words.
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