I was out walking trying to calm down because I got too anxious at home as usual, and as I was walking, I was going around the corner of a building, something slammed and scared the heck out of me, made me jump and then get really on guard after then about 1 or 2 minutes later a lot of sirens went down the road and I just got too anxious, I just hit the ground covering my ears. It was just a funeral procession but I felt like I just couldn't move I just wanted those sirens to go away. Those sirens reminded me of trauma. Its weird sometimes I can hear my brothers and sisters going down the road lights and sirens and I'm fine, but other times, it sets me off. I question if I could ever could ever return to duty because of that sometimes.
Need a bit of Support : I was out... - Anxiety and Depre...
Need a bit of Support
62 Replies
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I can relate to what you describe to some degree. I also have PTSD that is triggered by very specific things or events, sometimes including sirens. It must be far more difficult for you with your background, bless your soul. I am not extremely religious, but I do pray compulsively. Every time I hear sirens, I say a silent prayer to help those in trouble, and for protection and guidance for the first responders who have the challenging task of dealing with them. Sending you wishes for peace and healing. 🤗
in reply to Stippler
It is very difficult. Its a lot worse when I hear those sirens going off in my head and I can't figure out if they're really going down the road or not. Thank you for the prayers as we run our calls. When I was still running calls, if I could I would send up a quick pray en route. I couldn't do that all the time though, sometimes if my partner was in the back of the EMS unit with me, we would talk about what we need to be doing when we get to that call.
I'm sorry and reminder that when we're already anxious, startling things feel even scarier. I rely to the feeling of feeling too anxious at home and to walking around the buildings trying to calm down and to being started easily. Once a kid just said "boo" to me while i was on my anxiety walk and i jumped like a scared cat. Give yourself some time, in a quiet place with less sense stimuls and remind yourself that it's okay to be scared but you're safe. Breathe in a quiet separate place and tell yourself "im safe now"
I'm going to try to study a bit for an upcoming test and listen to some music before I have to go to work. I work in a grocery store right now, and it really doesn't do my PTSD and anxiety any good. Its hard for me to feel safe anymore. When the guys I served with had to transport me in that EMS unit a few months ago, my partner looked at me and had to remind me that I was in a safe place. I knew every guy on that EMS unit because I've ran calls with them, laughed with them, did housework with them, and we were there for each other when needed but even after all of that, I still got anxious and I needed that reminder. Even in my own home I don't feel safe at times.
"Stress and noise" are 2 of my biggest triggers, and the latter I don't know how to deal with.
It could be a sudden noise or a prolonged noise, but almost every article I read doesn't really have an answer on how to fix it.
.
Sure there are noise cancelling headphones, but that doesn't help me with sleep (cuz I can only sleep sideways), or if I need to be awake to help one of my parents out. (or the sometimes noisy area where I now live)
.
IDK.. I'm hoping on making a topic about this soon. (because it seems that we sometimes react to noise anxiety differently due to our past experiences, but more on that later)
& IDK if it's sensory overload, or something deeper (I'll probably go into that more soon), but it's something I struggled with my entire life. (which may go back to an early childhood incident for me)
I said in the past that I'm dealing with about 5-6 serious issues that I am trying to space out, so I don't overwhelm anyone here trying to help me, but "noise anxiety, that goes deep into my childhood is something that I struggled with my entire life, and "could" be a small part of my GAD/PAs)
But that's a different convo for another day.
*OK.. back on topic*
@Checko019, you're not the first person that I've seen with "noise anxiety" nor will you be the last around here.
I suffer with it too, (pretty bad) and I just want you to know "for now" that I seen multiple people (around here) suffer from it too.
in reply to AnxiousSilver
I don't know how to deal with it either, sometimes if I'm able to, I'll just put in my earbuds and put some music on my phone, but even that can cause an issue. If I'm at home, its not a problem, I'll just use my headphones and put the music on my laptop to block out the noise and try to take some deep breathes. My cat will help me as well, he seems to know when I'm having an anxiety attack and he'll get on my lap and calm me down. But when I'm out walking around I find that using earbuds and listening to music makes me even more on guard because it takes away my hearing. If someone gets too close to me, I'll flip out anyways but I think its even more so if I don't hear that other person coming because of the music. Its weird how sometimes those sirens will set me off and other times it doesn't. One thing I thought of is it could depend on if I'm already amped up because of something else and just about anything will set me off. Especially if I'm missing the guys I served with , those sirens really set me off, but I think if I'm not as on guard then they're fine and I handle those sirens a lot better.
I think today, I was already amped up before I heard those sirens going down the road but it was because of how crowded the local Chick Fil A was, I was just going to get something to drink and sit down for a bit but it was so crowded I couldn't stay in there, then having something slam as I was walking around a corner and made me jump, that probably didn't help as those sirens went down the road. (I've got a problem with going around corners to begin with anyways)
I know I'm not alone, but it feels that way sometimes, but thank you for that reminder.
OH and one last thing.
@Check019 I notice that you are a new member.
So F&F, (first and foremost) Welcome! 
& Second, this is a good and supportive community here.
in reply to AnxiousSilver
Thank you for the welcome, I really appreciate it.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time of it, Checko. I have PTSD and there are many different triggers that are associated with my trauma. I can relate and my thoughts and prayers are with you. 🙏.
sorry to hear you had such a hard time recently. Maybe meds might be in order. You could also come up with some coping strategies. Also there is nami.org
in reply to shawnaskin
I really don't want to take medication
here's a brick wall for you to lean on.....🧱🧱🧱🧱
in reply to Call_me_anything
Thanks.
Call_me_anything in reply to
sorry, bad joke 😅
in reply to Call_me_anything
Its ok, I've got a pretty interesting sense of humor as well. Its a mix of dark humor or sarcastic.
Call_me_anything in reply to
My sense of humour is sometimes too advanced for others to understand
in reply to Call_me_anything
I feel like dark humor is one of those sense of humors where people either love it and are fine with it, they can tolerate a little bit of it, or they just don't like it at all. I don't use dark humor around people that aren't comfortable with it. I always asked before I used it around them. Although sometimes I would accidentally make a dark humor joke but thankfully my friends were alright with it. We were eating ice cream and I'm surprised he didn't spit out his ice cream, because he was laughing pretty hard.
Call_me_anything in reply to
😂😂😂
in reply to Call_me_anything
I didn't even realize I made a joke until I looked over at him and seen him laughing. Then after I seen him laughing because of that accidental joke, then I started laughing.
Call_me_anything in reply to
me and my friends have got some kind of telepathic ability, we just need to peek👀 at each other and we understand what dark joke we're thinking about. No need to speak it out, just a little peak 😏 and we're rolling on the floor 🤣
Call_me_anything in reply to
here's a dark joke I read somewhere online.
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
in reply to Call_me_anything
That's a great one.
The one I told my friend was, we were talking about roadkill because of another joke I made, and then he started saying how long it takes for county to come out and take the roadkill off the road, and I said "well yeah, if its as flat as a pancake, they have to scrape it off the road." That's the perfect conversation to have while you're eating ice cream
The other joke I made that started that conversation between my friend and I was, I was driving down the road and there was a dead deer on the sidewalk and w/o even thinking, I said "that's a great spot to drop dead."
Call_me_anything in reply to
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not sure I’d want to read that on here if I was adopted!😳 Pretty triggering as soon many adopted feel that pain anyway.
(Apologies)🙏
Thanks, I know you didn’t mean any harm! 😊
in reply to Good_for_us
I'm adopted (well almost, waiting for paperwork to go through) and I find that funny, but then again, I've already I've got a terrible sense of humor so to me that joke is fine, but I can see how people would get offended.
Call_me_anything in reply to
whhhaaaaaatttttt 😳... I'm so sorry
in reply to Call_me_anything
No you're fine. I thought that joke was funny.
Welcome! So sorry to hear you are suffering so. You sound pretty courageous though to be out and about. At my worst with PTSD (4 years ago) I had a stress heart attack (takatsubo)sp? and agoraphobia. 😣 I am much better now. You probably are getting some therapy right? I found some help on youtube with a therapist named Tim Fletcher. ReIaxation music, prayer and meditation helped me also. Best wIshes!💕
in reply to Tara52
Thanks. For me, I get so anxious at home, I feel like I got to get out of this house. I've had tachycardia (medical term for really fast heart rate) a lot, highest heart rate so far was 157 due to an anxiety attack at work. I'm not in help right now, I was for 3 months but I got worse and was kinda given up on a way, and I'm very hesitant to go back to getting help. I don't want to be given up on again, I've been given up on twice and I just can't hear that again. I've been in and out of the hospital recently and same with the crisis center. Those two places aren't much help either.
Good_for_us in reply to
Hi and welcome! I have PTSD too, from a bad car accident trauma many years ago, and did lots of therapy for it. The best therapy is the kind I am getting now, which is EMDR. The therapist is an effective practitioner of it. I had EMDR many years ago and it didn’t help me- you have to find someone who specializes in it and try to see their reviews, look at their profile on ‘psychology today’, etc.
i also get the tachycardia when I have panic attacks (when I’m driving on the freeway)- it is pretty scary, which as you know, perpetuates the fear. You could try a beta-blocker for that- it helps to slow your heart rate- I couldn’t take it after a while because it dropped my blood pressure too much (mine is low to begin with).
I think you are dealing with this courageously! Remind yourself of that! Try to have visual images of things that bring you comfort- your faith, family, friends, cat, etc- when you are out walking. Also, are there support groups that you could attend?
Thank you very much for your service!!
in reply to Good_for_us
Thanks for the welcome. I'm not willing to take medication, and I'm still pretty hesitant to go back to getting help. Car crashes are pretty scary, I actually just started driving not too long ago, and I haven't really been on the main roads or a highway yet.
I get so angry at myself sometimes, and today was one of those days. I was having a really bad mental health day today and I had such a hard time at work again, it was worse than yesterday, 3 or 4 flashbacks and anxiety attacks. I got to put some items back on the shelf and that helped a bit but I still can't go down an aisle if another person is in it. I can't have people close to me either. I get angry at myself because I've done what most people can't do, but the most easiest thing in the world, I can't do. Its been this way for almost a year now.
Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it.
Good_for_us in reply to
Sounds rough, sorry you are going thru that! So…..the primary treatment for this type of thing is medication and/or therapy. If you don’t want to do medication (and I understand if you don’t want to), are you getting some kind of therapy? I think it might be very difficult to do this on your own.
in reply to Good_for_us
No, I'm not in help right now, I was, but I was given up on twice and I don't want to hear that again, I'm so hesitant to go back to getting help. I was probably in help for 3 months but I've been out for maybe 4-6 months.
Good_for_us in reply to
I’m so sorry to hear that! I don’t know what kind of therapists they were but they should not be giving up on a patient/client! You need to find someone to help you- either a group therapy setting or private, or both. Do you have health insurance? Not sure where you live but you should have access to someone to help you. Also, you mentioned that you were getting adopted, so I am assuming you are under 21?
in reply to Good_for_us
I'm not doing too good right now, and I just don't feel like talking much. I'm 19 almost 20. I do have insurance, but money is pretty tight and I don't want to hear something from my family members about it.
wow sorry.. I can't even imagine.. We are here to support you.
in reply to Lve2dance
Thank you for having my 6.
😁No problem.
What does that mean?
in reply to Lve2dance
Its another way of saying thank you for having my back. Its a common phrase for military and first responders.
cool 😎 😁
and thank you for your service 😊🙏
My husband is a volunteer firefighter and my son is a firefighter-paramedic working two jobs and volunteering in his spare time 😅 I hate sirens. To me they mean someone I love is headed into a dangerous situatuon. I have learned to tune them out any way I can. And loud noises make me jump. So you aren't alone. Each of us has something unique to offer the world. Despite our anxiety and depression we keep going. So post when you need to. We care and someone is always here. This group understands and we support each other any way we can. Thank you for your service.
in reply to Mrspjsmom
Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it and thank you for your husband's and son's service as well. I know I'm not alone but sometimes it feels that way. I got this jacket that has say's "No One Fights Alone" then it has "Dispatch, EMS, Corrections, Police, Fire Military" under that and I wear that jacket a lot as a reminder
Mrspjsmom in reply to
Wear that jacket and hold on to your sense of humor. My husband is also an Emergency Room nurse and my daughter is a nurse practioner. All I do is try to support them. They save lives and I don't do anything important. But I try. Sometimes we all need to feel like we matter.
in reply to Mrspjsmom
Supporting them is pretty important and its great that you do that. My family members aren't supportive at all, and I've heard probably almost everything in the book by now, and some of it is pretty hurtful. A few months ago, one of my family members said to me while we were eating out "are you sure its PTSD, you look fine." and I told them "the hospital diagnosed me and I showed you that records for it." I still remember that day I was diagnosed with it. When that doctor handed me that paper that said "PTSD" on it, I was a bit relieved in a way because now I could understand why I was doing what I was doing and the way I was feeling but at the same time, I was a bit angry and scared. I tried to talk to my family members twice, but they still don't understand it so I figured that there's no point.
Thank you. The worst thing I ever heard from a family member was when my sister told me "go take another pill". Long story short I don't speak to her anymore. She's a toxic person so I divorced her 🙃 I guess supporting my family is important. Just wish they appreciated it. Good for you showing them the paper with your diagnosis. If people can't see our pain they ignore it.
in reply to Mrspjsmom
Its tough when the people we care about don't understand and give support. I've also heard, "you're rude", "stop overreacting" , "do you hate us, do you still love us?" "get over it" "but you look fine" "stop acting weird" "are you sure you can still do the job?" "you're disrespectful." The list continues, even from other people, I've had some interesting comments like "but you're too young and pretty to be going through this" "were you in the Military?" The other day, I had a nurse in my checkout line and she as wondering if I was ok since I was shacking a lot, and I told her my medical history and that I had to be transported to the hospital for something similar to that the other day and she asked me if I was transported to the military hospital. I find music to be pretty helpful and there are a few songs in particular, there's one called A Soldiers Memoir and when it says " My momma says I look the same as I did before I left, but if she could see inside of me, it would scare her to death." Even though I'm fire department and not a soldier, that line stands out to me as well as another one in there. Then there's another song called Still Ain't Made it Home and the line that stands out to me in that says "Just cause you're not bleeding, Don't mean you ain't been hit." Not all wounds are visible. When Those Sirens Are Gone is another great song.
Mrspjsmom in reply to
You are going to get through this. Just take things one day or one minute at a time. You are stronger than you realize. Right now I am shaking from a panic attack but I will get through it.
in reply to Mrspjsmom
Hope you feel better. I have a wedding to go to today, and I'm scared to death.
If anyone tries to hug you tell them you are getting over a cold. I feel disconnected at social events too. But depending on how close I am to the people around me I fake it. If it's too much step outside for a bit. If anyone asks just tell them you need some fresh air. The ladies restroom is another good place to get away for a few moments.
Thanks for the advise. I didn't think about the cold tactic, but if I get too anxious I usually go to the ladies room to try to settle down a bit.
Mrspjsmom in reply to
Good plan. I go outside or to the ladies room when I need a break.
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