Yesterday i noticed i finally have started to feel positive feelings. You all know hte terrible content of mine before. I even read some homeworks i wrote home and they're so unstable. But i shouldn't punish myself for that. My parents suffocated my positive emotions and grew negative. And it was really hard for me. I noticed i was getting excited, satisfied, happy over skin arec and fashion and taking care of myself. My dad used to hate when i do this. Shame it. Even got a woman who dresses like a guy. And my peers were pretty, confident, self loving, enjoying facemasks and stuff... I also got excited over new ppl i met and my dad just said "where u got these from". I'm excited about food and my family says we have food at home, it's not healthy, it's expensive, it makes me fat... But damn i love pizza, donners, gyros, chineese food omre than what they cooked, sorry. And i'm sorry for my content but i was in hell, having no positive emotions. Now i see the light
Im sorry in advance - i'm going to my mom's today, Tommorrow at the seaside for 2-3 days, hten home 1,then granma birthday. I should write an assignment before i go also. Trying to focus on hte positive like the seaside. Hope i don't lose my mind and If i do to handle it. Wish me luck
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Against_the_current
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Keep it up, A tc, We're really proud of you. 👍. Eat whatever you like and when you get there wish Grandma a happy birthday for me and give her a big hug for me. 🫂(((Against_the_current and A t c's Grandma)))🫂
i dont lke hurtful words or clincial words lke unstable...etc....so adog is scared....oohhhhe unstalbe....well doc....try being in hs shoes....ud be scared spitless........dont look aback...those pages are for copng venting healing and going hrogh and workingt throuth fears or whatvers we n eed. or celblbrate.....whatver....it our life and helps us be the real self and gainstrength.........iwork withanmalsand help; them and their riders slowly work throuth things......anhone using those wordson myhpeple....tossed out of my arena in ten nanoseconds...........im a total tyrant of protecton in my arena....all growth and fears alll montains relatve...do what best for myh stugfent or ohrse...no time tabls.....im luckyh.........confidence grows and i slowly enlarge the circle of experience.........slowly...........each on their own journy ..i never allow one person to compare to another exxcept to watchand learn.....that5 diff.....thats constuctiv.....and useflll.......i work withmentors allthe time....thankfl toleran fromtheir experence.....
thats the p;ont i jhave a mthr like that .......i could care less whatshe says ...doesnt mean anhyting tome......easy for sooeone on the outside to say.......i sure as hello aint going to let her win.....i move on to show her she means noting
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Dad left me to carry not only mom's emotions, anger and grief and sis but grandparents too. I needed understanding not scolding 
