Mom called me and i threw up

[Against_the_current]

Got so anxious. She sount frustrated, i worried she's mad or drunk, hse told me osme stupid story, i thought it's weird and vomited. Am nauseus and having anxiety again every day

[TrustYourSoul]

You are overreacting. It's just "words". Just hang the phone up on her--- say, "Mom, I don't want to hear the way you are talking ANYMORE. I have to go." Then immediately hang up the phone, turn it off for a while, she can leave you a voice mail, and You have the Power to listen to it, or just delete it. Yes, you Can "delete" the toxic people in your life. An easy lesson that You can teach others.

YOU CHOOSE HOW TO FEEL. Nobody can "make" you feel anything. It's Always Your Choice how to feel, and nobody else's "fault". Ok?

[SoporRose in reply to TrustYourSoul]

I respectfully disagree. Telling someone in turmoil that feelings can be simply shut off is not kind. Against_the_Current has not lived away from AtC’s family for all that long and it can take time to learn how to separate from the families that formed us. Some people learn the knack of setting boundaries more quickly than others. Some of us are simply stronger than others or have access to better resources. I hope AtC will find a path to independence, and AtC has made a start by getting out of the family home, going to school, and getting an internship. That’s progress!

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thanks, it's really not that easy. I can't just do that, it has consequences

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Yes: that’s just it. And, as you remind us, the consequences are likely to affect your sister as well.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Some people you need to step back from. Clearly your mom is not in a good place herself. You are not in a good place either. You got your own problems you don't need her baggage as well. Next time she calls tell her you're busy and hang up. If she calls again let voicemail deal with that.

I get that way too when I get really anxious & nervous, I throw up. It sucks. But you'll be okay. Just gotta start setting up boundaries for these people in your life. It's fine to say NO.

[Against_the_current in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thanks but It has consequenses, she might be mad at me and take it out on sis. And also i'm still not broken free

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Against_the_current]

I see Yes you are in a difficult situation. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Definitely you and your sister need to be out of that situation. But I understand. It's not as easy as it sounds. And boundaries take time to set up and right now you might not be there yet. I'm sorry you and your sister are going through this.

[Against_the_current in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thanks

[Midori]

I think she is subtly gaslighting you. I agree to hanging up if she is obviously drunk or abusive. You don't need it, with your own worries as well.

Cheers, Midori

[Against_the_current in reply to Midori]

Thanks but It has consequenses, she might be mad at me and take it out on sis. And also i'm still not broken free

[Against_the_current]

I'm paralyzed in fear

[TrustYourSoul]

How old is your sister?

[Against_the_current in reply to TrustYourSoul]

15

[Against_the_current]

I talked that with him. It's actually a psychological effect of anxiety and trauma. If i have sth it's probably ptsd, Burn out, hypervigiliance emotional reactivity. Bipolar ppl have months depressed and months manic. I'm just horribly anxious all the time, jumping in other emotions fast

[Against_the_current]

Exactly. Thanks

[Against_the_current]

I wasn't doing these things at home but since i came here and started feels much better. I'm doing gym with yoga and dance classes (the bill came yesterday and hit me but anyway), also trying to socialize