Any tips or can you relate to needing to combat/ignore others’ negativity?

[Starrlight]

I feel peoples’ stuff and today I was in a good space but others’ problems and negativity is getting to me and threatening to destroy the peace and happiness I had made for myself.

[Starrlight]

I just thought of putting space in between me and other people I have to deal with like imagine a safe protected area in between us.

[Agora1]

Our good space can be so infrequent that it's important to embrace thatinner calm and peace when we feel it. I never allow anyone or anything

rob me of that feeling.

Putting space in between you and other people can be done in many ways.

Walking away, finding a quiet spot to meditate and breathe or putting yourself

in a safe protected bubble and mentally float away.

Your peace of mind is most important. If you don't have that, you have nothing

to give others. xx

[Starrlight in reply to Agora1]

I don’t know if I have peace of mind I think it goes in and out for me as I can’t seem to stop feeling others stuff 🥺

[primrose81 in reply to Starrlight]

Ditto Starrlight, I know exactly what you mean….xx

[Starrlight in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for tips!

[Lve2dance in reply to Agora1]

Right.. My therapist said something similar.. Envision yourself in a bubble.. Nothing can touch you...

[Dolphin14]

I hear you girl friend. I have that coming from many angles lol.

I say back away from the ones that are interfering with your peace and tranquility.

Take care of you

TAKE BACK OUR PEACE

❤️🐬

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Yes! Thanks for that support. That’s what I’ve got a chance to do today and got back my PEACE! ☮️

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

👍👍

[Midori in reply to Starrlight]

Well done!

Cheers, Midori

[Scarlett28]

Sadly my negative others are my family whom I can’t escape nor do I want to. They all have tough attitudes and act as if they have all the answers and everyone else are idiots. The backstabbing has made me a severely insecure person and now all I can think about when I’m around them is what have they been ripping on me about. I cope by watching what I say and just listening a lot. Sometimes just agreeing to keep the peace. Lots of deep breaths. Sometimes by not engaging in the negative talk they stop. It’s draining but it’s my family and they are all I have right now even though my parents had a big role in my trauma.

[Agora1 in reply to Scarlett28]

Hi Scarlett, there are many times that our stressful situations are within ourown 4 walls. Doing the best you can to keep your stress levels low are important

for your sanity sake. Walking away and finding a quiet place to call your own and

just breath in Peace and Release Stress can give you a calming moment.

I certainly understand how difficult it can be but remember it won't always be this way xx

[Lve2dance in reply to Scarlett28]

Wow, yes, is definitely hard when it's family. What you're saying mirrors a lot of what I deal with

[Scarlett28 in reply to Lve2dance]

Yes it’s strange the older I get the more I learn & realize my needs were not being met as a child. I spent a lot of time with babysitters & grandma & by the time I was 9 or 10 I was taking care of my 2 year old sibling alone sometimes past bedtime. I remember crying & being told stop acting like a baby. I’m sorry that you can relate

[Lve2dance in reply to Scarlett28]

Wow I'm so sorry for what you went through.. That you came through says how strong you are.

[ScooterJoe in reply to Scarlett28]

I feel you Scarlett28. My mother told me that when I was a baby no matter what time she woke me up that I would look at her and smile. I've been told I still smile a lot although I have been married to a very negative individual for over 47 years. It has taken lots of tears and lots of hidden hurts but somehow I'm still here. It has been hard to realize that I have been married twice and both times have been to very negative men. It's like they have to suck every bit of joy out of others to be able to be happy themselves. They say that hurting people hurt people and it must be true. Yes and I too have found some comfort in being able to just sit and watch and listen to them and try to figure out the source of their pain.

[Scarlett28]

Yes, I have my own place and I do limit my time being around them. I just wish I could speak my truth with them. I have tried a little in the past and they get very defensive so I stop and go back to being a sounding board. Family is a strong value of mine even though it hasn’t faired so well on my mental health.

[Starrlight in reply to Scarlett28]

I hear ya. Family members get to me too but I’m trying to set up boundaries and allow myself to ignore them without explanation.

[Scarlett28 in reply to Starrlight]

How does your family react to your boundaries or avoidance? Mine get defensive and may stop talking to me for days because they don’t understand me. They don’t have much empathy for people suffering from mental illness, they like to say “oh get over it”.

[Starrlight in reply to Scarlett28]

They don’t seem to notice. But if I stand up for myself they definitely don’t like it.

[Hope4me1]

I think the key to not taking on the negativity around you is first finding that secure, calm and peaceful place inside yourself. That is your shield to block your sensitive self from letting those emotions change your own. Also being able to leave the situation is important, too. Finding quiet solitude is sometimes hard for us and even impossible. But we can do the best we can and know that we deserve to be able to change the destructive atmosphere that is happening around us by walking away or stating honestly what we are feeling and hoping that the situation could change when we are understood.

It’s a slippery slope when you grow up in a dysfunctional home and are triggered by memories like I am. I am still working on not taking in others negative vibes and even when life itself can wear on you. It’s a work in progress and it’s so comforting to have people who listen and understand what we are feeling here in this group.❤️🌼🌷

[Starrlight in reply to Hope4me1]

❤️ thanks for sharing love to you Hope

[b1b1b1]

Peace of mind is such a wonderful and miraculous thing. Often though, I think people don't appreciate it enough until they lose it. That is certainly my case. Peace of mind is very very precious.

[Nothing_but_books]

Yes. I can relate. I hope you get some answers, I need them too.

[AnxiousCanadianChic]

I have the same issue. One person was my oldest brother, he would text me hinting at needing money or right out asking and I couldn’t handle it and had to block him. I have 2 male friends who love to complain about everything political and I just right out told them to vent to other people because I have enough to stress about and don’t need to add politics to it.

[Hidden]

Maybe learn not to “react” …just let things be…nourish your mind with positive thoughts and images…like animals …birds…flowers….stare at running water by a river…listen to Mother Nature…look at the stars…watch the sun set or rise…there is so many nicer things to do to your senses..

Most of the negative feelings from others can only be fed by what you feel inside…it’s your heart …and your mind….choose what you want to think about….not what others think or feel…at least until you feel strong enough.

Remember your peace of mind …has to be the goal.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

That’s awesome advice! I hope to be able to act on that advice. It really means a lot to me.

[MaggieSylvie]

You know how a night asleep will take it all away, and those feelings are gone the next day? (sometimes this doesn't happen, I know). Can you (can we) mentally, bring that time closer? At the very least, we can look forward to tomorrow until we have developed the ability to be happy in the moment. Do you like that song "Be happy"? Never ignore the power of music.😊

[Starrlight in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Yes! Nice idea thanks music can change the mood def.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi SL.

Honestly & simply ..... cut the negative things out of your life .... especially the human negativity usurpers, who come along dump their BS on your shoulders & walk away happy. Those type of people cut out dead , even if its family members . I've done it & now I have 4 good friends & that's it , oh & my immediate family.

Yes is a hard step & very scary buy in time you will find its the best step. Also once you rid ur heart of the negativity there is more room for love .

I wish U love & light on your journey

[Starrlight in reply to DodgeDhanda]

Love and light on your journey as well 🙏 Nameste

[Midori]

Try to remember it's their stuff and not yours, and it can make it easier. Try not to take it on board.

Cheers, Midori

[Starrlight in reply to Midori]

Good idea!!!! Thanks

[catsrock]

I use this meditation to clear negative energy from others and have found it helpful. thetappingsolution.com/blog...

[Starrlight in reply to catsrock]

Catsrock this is amazing thank you so much! I’ve done tapping before and I think I’ll get myself back into it. Def worth it to take the time to feel recharged.

[Dolphin14]

Sept 17!!!! I'm having a 🦔!!!!

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Ha I can’t wait 😍 I bet you will fall in love!

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

Yes. I will put him on your grateful post.

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Awe.Some!!! I just decided that during homeschool times we will set a calm mood with candles in the room and we will take music breaks… so excited just like you are about Herman. We both have something to look forward to that we’re working so hard on it will be great to share our results! I think I’m starting school around the 15th of August!

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

Wow that's next week. You go girl

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Where are you getting your Herman from? How old is he?

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight]

There is a breeder 2 hours away. They can't leave till they are seven weeks old

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

Awwwww seven weeks old Sweet

[Believeinyourself123]

Hi Starrlight, I have found that if you try to limit your interactions with those that are causing you distress helps. For instance, I have this one person who will message me on Facebook and she is very negative and makes her own life more dramatic. Ill delay responding to her right away and this seems to help. Another tip that has worked lets say someone calls you and they are very negative give a time limit on how long you will listen to them. Dont say you only have 15 mins to complain but kindly excuse yourself to end the conversation. I tend to feel very sorry for people in general but if they are consistenly draining your energy its time to limit the interactions for your own well being. I hope this helps you. Take care!!

[Starrlight]

Yeah all that makes sense thanks for sharing! How are you doing btw?